Hello, my friends, welcome back to the Healthy Eating for Busy Women podcast.Today we’re recording in a bit of a different way today.
So if you’re listening to this on audio, you probably won’t notice the difference. But on video you will see that I’m in my dining room or next to the Christmas tree.
And 1 know this episode is going live probably a couple weeks after Christmas or a few weeks. So […0.6s] you’re probably past that point, right when you hear this. But it is very cozy. And I really want to start uploading these, […0.6s] video podcast to YouTube.
So if you search healthy eating for busy women on YouTube, you will find these videos.
And I think it feels a little more personal. It’ll feel like we’re having a conversation. And sometimes I think we take in the information differently if we’re watching someone speak […0.5s] to us. So please go to that YouTube channel, subscribe.
We’re just starting to have y’all trickle into it. So, I will be happy to, sit with you guys in another format there, but I’m really excited to talk about this concept today of best friend healthy eating because 1 actually just spent recently a […0.4s] week with my dear friend Sarah. She’s one of my best friends and, her name is Sarah ArnoldAnd all of you should know her because […0.5s] she helps people achieve really big goals. So she is incredible and I’m bringing her up, she’s amazing obviously, but also she has this concept that I really love called best friend calendaring.And it’s very much going to be what inspires our conversation today because best friend calendaring is essentially creating your calendar and your schedule as if you were doing it for a best […0.4s] friend.So that’s a little preview for today. And this is also a concept that I sent to my clients in my membership. And right now we’re in the middle of this 90 day experience where every day for their first 90 days of the process, they are getting a voice message from me.And I have just been having so much fun being in there with them, voice messaging them, and, being really open. And it starts to feel very personal and real with my clients when I can speak to them daily about what’s coming up for me, what they can expect.
So, I want you guys to know that when you join the membership and it’s called on your eating habits. By the way, it’s the membership to eat healthy naturally, loseSo, I want you guys to know that when you join the membership and it’s called on your eating habits. By the way, it’s the membership to eat healthy naturally, lose weight naturally. You will begin that membership with this 90 day experience.So it’s now a within a program all set up for you. And you are going to get a voice message from me for the first […0.6s] 90 days of your journey, which I think is so fun.But anyway, this was one of the topics I came up with and did one day. And I wanted to share it more with you guys […0.5s] here on the podcast, cause I think it’s really going to help you.So what I want us to think about inspired by my friend Sarah’s concept, right, is how would you approach healthy eating and weight loss if you were setting up your best […0.6s] friend for success? Not yourself, not your own expectations, but your best friend.
I want you to picture that she is 10 steps behind you.
You’re on your journey, and you’re able to, prepare the way for her and support her. How would you do so […
0.4s] at every step of your journey, where you’re setting up the path that she’s gonna walk to hit her goal.So 1 know a lot of you have different goals, and I coach you guys through all of them. Right, some of you have a weight loss goal, some of you just really wanna change your eating habits, feel better with food.
But whatever that goal is, you can do this because it’s a posture that you take with you when you go into your joumey each day. So if you’re like me and you love a good journal, such, this might be a really great prompt for you to think about how would you approach healthy eating and weight loss now if you were setting up your best friend for success.So if that’s your jam, you’re with your coffee, feel free to pause for five minutes and write that out. But don’t stress. If you’re driving or you’re doing something else, you can come back to this.
Now I want to help you paint this picture really clearly. I want this to feel almost black and white for you when
you consider setting this up for your best friend.
Because this is one of the most strategic things you can do in this process.Because what you need to understand about strategy with healthy eating, weight loss. There’s so many things that are being said, right? And the most strategic approaches with your health are gonna be the ones L…
0.5s] that heal you the most, right? It’s gonna be the ones that actually address things at the deep level.And I think sometimes when we’re more Taipei, or I know a lot of you are like me, and you lean very intellectual, right and problem solving.
Sometimes these identity approaches to things might feel a little fluffy, or maybe you have a high interest in it, but it doesn’t quite feel as solid as something like planning or tracking, which is so fair, L…0.5s] right.
Cause one is an equation, and one is a different skill, which is more introspection and identity work. But what you wanna start to dismantle in your own mind is, that doesn’t mean it’s less strategic.In fact, what I’m telling you here, which is to adopt a different persona in healthy eating and weight loss. It’s gonna be the most strategic thing you do, cause we’re actually addressing root causes, and roots areas of healing here, which is who you’re being when you show up to a weight loss journey.
Because who a lot of you are being, who I’ve been, who sometimes to this day, I still am, is not my best friend. I do not set myself up like a best friend would.
And I don’t want this to call you out or shame you, right.
We’re always gonna have areas, to learn in this process, but I want it to, […0.6s] reset you and pivot you when you notice, oh, this is not how I would treat my dear friend. This is not how I would set her up for success without shaming yourself. So [..0.5s] first, what we wanna consider, other than all those things, right, is how do you start […0.6s] your healthy eating and weight loss journey if you are positioning it for your best friend.So in other words, what do you put in place […0.5s] for her? How do you set her up? She is about to go on the journey, and you’re 10 steps ahead of her. How do you prepare the way?And I really love this visual because all of a sudden, it really gives us a lot of ideas, and we’ll start to really understand what’s gonna make us successful from this really loving place.So here are some things that come up in my mind, and I see come up in my clients. Just to give you some ideas to play with.
First, I imagine that we would set proper expectations for her. So something that a lot of you guys do and I know because I do it too, is you really do set such high standards and expectations for how your progress should go.
So right away, if you’ve never heard this concept from me, I want you to think about this.What expectations are you already having of yourself in your healthy eating and weight loss journey? The timing, how you should show up, how many times you should fail, right? What are the standards you’re placing on yourself which is gonna create pressure?And I have a whole lot of other content around that, but you can think about that now for our best friend, we probably would have a conversation about that and to look at where we’re setting expectations and to be aware of that for her. Does that make sense?So having awareness around the pressuring expectations, also we would wanna establish with our best friend that small steps is the best way to start, right? I imagine for a best friend, if she’s feeling all that pressure and oh, I gotta move quickly, I gotta do it, right, I would imagine myself telling her, hey, you can just start small.That’s actually what you need to do. You need to move slowly, build these skills, right? We would have a lot more Grace for a friend, I would think for all of us, right?So that’s something that you can think about for yourself. And then also how would you set her up for reflection evaluation throughout this process? I imagine that […0.4s] you would maybe, or I would maybe get her a journal or a place to, reflect on her progress, something that really fits her.I would give her all the right materials and then how can you make sure she feels supported in the highest possible way, whether that’s, getting expertise from an outside source, whether that’s hiring a coach, right, to help her along the process, what support will she need to give her? The path of least […0.5s] resistance and quick little shameless plug obviously, right, you guys can’t help myself. My membership is such a great place or this, right, it is such a good starting point for those of you who wanna set yourself up for success like a best friend.So I highly recommend […0.4s] you get inside there. You can go to cat rentals com forward slash membership to check it out. You’ll be welcome, so […0.4s] also we wanna consider, right, how […0.4s] will she feel when she starts.So again, we’re 10 steps ahead of our best friend. Just imagine this, even if you haven’t started, imagine being 10 steps ahead of her. And you think, but how must be sheHow must she be feeling at the beginning of this process? Where may she have trouble in this process?
How will I make sure she gets the care she needs when she’s struggling?So this is what I want you guys to do for yourselves. If you are preparing the way […0.4s] for your best friend from the beginning, what would you put in place? And you guys can do this no matter where you’re at and your joumey.
By the way, it’s, kind of my permission to you to clean slate it and treat today as if you were starting for the first time.That can be really fun, I think hold on, quick tea break. […0.6s] So […0.5s] next we want to consider how will you walk this journey […0.5s] with her. So you’ve prepared the way and now you, can just be one step ahead of her as she’s going through it.So what I’m gonna do to talk about this today is I’m gonna, lean on my process a little bit and what I teach in my coaching, but anyone can apply this. So it doesn’t matter if you’re using my process or not.So the very first thing we wanna consider when our best friend is walking this journey is her thought awareness, right. So something I teach is that […0.6s] we wanna really be aware of our brains and the thoughts we’re having, because those create our emotions which fuel our actions.So a lot of why you may not be eating the way you want to and having the results you want is you may just not be aware of how your brain is working.And that is so […0.5s] there, so something that we want to happen is thought awareness and we know from this perspective that our best friend in this process, she’s gonna have sneaky, limiting beliefs, she’s gonna think it’s not working.She’s gonna think she’s not doing good enough. She’s gonna doubt that she’s ever gonna get there. She’s gonna be a human. We’re all gonna be humans. So knowing that what will be set up to support her, right?What I imagine is, I imagine every day, which is what | teach my clients, by the way, we have a process for this.
Every day I set a checking point to see how she’s feeling, to check in on her thoughts, to say, hey, what’s the struggle today? What are you feeling?What are your honest thoughts about where you’re at in this process? And then space is always being held for her, right? You’re never getting surprised based on where she struggles.Another part of my process is emotional processing. So this might not be a surprise to you guys. Emotional eating is a big part of why we don’t have the weight loss we want. And I help clients solve for that by learning the skill of stress regulation, emotional processing.So we know that this is something that she will have to start practicing and she’s gonna have to learn, and there’s gonna be discomfort that she’s going to learn ….
0.5s] how to digest. So what can we put in place for her? What can we set up so she feels more comfortable?So I know for me, when I was really prioritizing emotional processing, I would set a space, it sounds weird, right?But I would set a space for me to check in on emotions.
So I would have […0.6s] candles lit and it wasn’t super aesthetic or anything, but | would like light a candle, sit on the couch, put my hand on my heart and just breathe, acknowledge my feelings.And so for you, if you were setting up that ritual with a best friend, what would it look like?
Even you guys, if it’s just in the car on the way home or in the bathroom at the office, I do not care. It’s more the intention behind it. How would you set up your best friend to be able to start emotionally processing, right?
Build that skill.And then another one which is very practical, but […
0.6s] so useful to think about it in the lens of best friend.0.6s] so useful to think about it in the lens of best friend. you guys to hear me. The biggest struggle I see women have, including, including myself in the past. I’m no better. The biggest struggle I see women have is not that they can’t make healthy eating choices. It’s the fact it’s not that they can’t make healthy eating choices.It’s that they haven’t practice resourcefulness in different situations, right? So notice how much confusion, and I don’t know as we indulge when we’re at the airport or restaurant, more like, I don’t know how to eat healthy. There’s not ideal things on the menu, we will just drive ourselves nuts, but notice if you were making decisions for a best friend […0.5s] or someone you care about, right, all of that confusion would go out the window.Ideally, you would just get resourceful, choose the best option, think about what she will like or not like, what’s healthy for her, what’s not. You would really be so considerate, and you would take action and not indulge any confusion, because then […0.5s] she would be missing out.So I want you guys to think about that when you make healthy eating choices or food choices from the lens of a best friend. Notice how more resourcefulness is available to you.And this is one of the biggest hacks I think we can do when determining what the best food choices are. And I’m so sorry, you guys. I’m getting over a cough, so I’m just gonna be taking tea breaks here and there.One second, we’re good. I was on one of our member calls. I think this was a couple months ago, and, every few months, I just develop a cough.It’s probably seasonal. And I felt so bad because I swear it’s like that tickle in the throat [..0.7s] where you can’t stop coughing for five minutes. And then you’re just like, alright, everyone, just give me a moment.But, anyway, so […0.5s] food choices and then we wanna think about food pleasure. So this is also a skill that I teach in my process. And the concept is learning how to enjoy food at the Max […0.5s] level without over indulging it.So a visual way to see this is you enjoy food more deeply with each bite rather than on the surface with more food. You see what I’m saying. It’s really enjoying the food and experiencing the food. So how would we set up a meal for our best friend to do this?So here’s what I picture that if I wanna set up a meal for my best friend to enjoy without over indulging, I would think about the food choices in a way that meets her needs, but I would also like special order a really yummy appetizer or maybe if I’m cooking at home, make her a really yummy like dessert or her favorite, savory meal, whatever it is, favorite, condiment, I don’t know.Anything that I know would just be so enjoyable to her and really allow her to experience whatever meal she’s experiencing with full pleasure but understanding that it’s not about having more of it, right? So it’s not about a large portion, it’s not about filling a comfort gap. It’s just about experiencing the taste and the textures.And so when you think about doing this for your best friend, how would you set up a meal? You probably would even make the table or the experience a little more comfortable and pleasurable. And I understand we’re busy, right?A lot of us have a lot of things going on, you guys have kids, you really can’t each night create a candle at dinner.Maybe you can, but if you can’t, that’s not what I’m saying here. I’m saying maybe it’s just putting on a sweater, cause, you’re gonna be cold. Maybe it’s making sure you have a glass of water, so you’re not dehydrated.Right, sometimes it’s really just about basic needs, and we would ensure that the basic needs of our friend are met, because we would want her to be comfortable.
Of course right. So the last thing I want us to consider, and this is a big one in my process, but see how it relates to babe.
So see how it relates to you is evaluating progress, right? So throughout our process and on your eating habits, our clients evaluate progress every single week.
And this is just a way for them to heal their perfectionism, really care, give in a way to see where they’re out with their skill building. And it just allows their results to be created without confusion.And so I want you to think about what would you set up for your best friend to evaluate progress in a way that you would want to be fulfilling for her.So what’s interesting is when I think about my best friend, friends and how I’d want to position this, I know that evaluations might be hard for her, right? Because I know she’s not gonna succeed every week.It’s not gonna be linear. She’s gonna have to learn some lessons. I would want that time to be really special and enjoyable for her.And knowing my best friend, maybe I would set it up at the beach for her or coffee shop or even just alone, for you mamas, that might be a huge concept. Just nobody talk to me.I just wanna actually be able to concentrate. That might be a luxury for you, but you know what I mean. How could you make it something that you would set up for your best friend?And it doesn’t even have to be huge or require a lot of effort. It can just be for myself, something I did for a while. This is so small, but I would like have a new flavor of tea, when I did evaluations.Right, just something special that would make it enjoyable for me and to remind me that this was for me.
It wasn’t a punishment or anything to meet harsh expectations.Now […0.5s] here is the power of this exercise because it’s very sweet. It gives us a lot of ideas, but I want you guys to understand tactically […0.5s] why this is so important. It dissolves when you look through the lens of a best friend, right? It dissolves all overthinking confusion, and I don’t knows.So you can’t indulge that part of you when you’re doing this for someone you care about outside of you, right?
You stop indulging confusion, leaving you only with your resourcefulness.And this comes from a very mature place and all of us can get out of it. I’m no different. But it is a really good tactic to use and a lens to come back to where it makes you devoted to the care of this person.And 1 really relate to this, you guys. I promise I still am a human, or I’m sure it’s obvious I’m obviously, an imperfect human, right?But this applies to me […0.5s] when I’m making decisions for myself and I’m in that mind. It looks completely different in my mind when I’m making decisions for friends. All of a sudden it becomes easier to show up, really put care and intention into it.But this applies to me […0.5s] when I’m making decisions for myself and I’m in that mind. It looks completely different in my mind when I’m making decisions for friends. All of a sudden it becomes easier to show up, really put care and intention into it.
It’s kind of that concept where you would never cancel an appointment with your dearest friend, but you maybe would with yourself. And that’s really what I’m getting at here. This is a great way and a great barometer to see where you’re at and your own self care. And I wanna mention to you guys, I hope this was helpful.
By the way, I wanna mention shamelessly that if you are struggling, you feel alone, and you want direction in this process, or maybe you’re just starting out and you’re like, actually this is something | just discovered, I wanna prioritize. I highly recommend my coaching membership.
It is _…0.4s] such a great space and in the theme of caring for a best friend. Really the community of women we have in there. It’s so supportive and sometimes you can just borrow the belief that other women have in you when you are having a tough week or you’re having a tough moment.And it’s just, I dare say impossible not to succeed L..
0.5s] in that community just because of the support you have and also the strategy that I teach you. It really works wonder. So again, please […0.5s] don’t hesitate to join us if you think it’s a good fit. Go to cat runs.Com forward slash membership. You will get the warmest welcome, and I hope this was helpful for today.
Again, L..0.4s] if you want to watch this episode on YouTube and video form, don’t forget to subscribe to the channel, and leave me a little comment letting me know you’re there.Cause we’re just getting started on that channel. So any engagement really helps. Alright, I love you all so much, and I will talk to you next week.