Hello, my friends.
Welcome back to the Healthy Eating for
Busy Women podcast.
I’m so happy to be here with you this
week, and I am grateful you found time in
your busy schedule to spend some time
with me today.
So we are in a little bit of a different setting.
For those of you who are listening on
audio, you probably won’t tell a
difference, but I am starting to upload
these video episodes to YouTube.
So if you prefer to hang out with me in
video format, You can go to YouTube, just
search Healthy Eating for Busy Women and
you’ll see the channel pop up.
And make sure you subscribe if you love this podcast because we’re just getting started over there and it’s going to be a good time.
But it’s a little different this week
because I am showing up to you guys from
my parents’ office.
I am visiting them for the new year and
we’re just doing it really really
minimalistic today.
We’re in the office.
I have my little iPhone notes out here for this episode, but we’re just getting it done.
And I think that this is a really timely
episode because we’re going to talk about
the growing pains of of long-term weight
loss today, right?
Because we don’t just talk about weight
loss in this podcast.
We don’t just cover surface level quick fixes.
It is really my mission to help you
change your identity with your health and
change your behaviors lifelong for life
and leaving no stone left unturned.
And something that is not talked about
often enough is kind of emotionally what
to expect when you do that.
And it’s not so big and scary.
It just might not be emotions that you expect.
And for some context, if you’re new to this podcast or me, first off, I am so happy you are here.
So grateful with all of the content
online nowadays that you managed to find
me wherever you found me.
But if you don’t know me, so I have been
doing this for the past almost 10 years
now, and I have coached women from all
around the world who really have
participated in healthy eating and weight
loss in an all or nothing way.
So we’re either perfectly following through or not at all.
And if you identify as someone who is
very busy, you’re very type A, you’re
very intellectual, but you haven’t been
able to figure sustainable weight loss, then I’m hoping I can help you here.
And really in that time that I’ve spent
helping women all around the world from
different backgrounds, I have been able
to find commonalities with rites of
passage in this healing work.
So really emotional phases or phases of processing that I see most of my ladies go through.
And so I wanted to vote an episode today
for you to know what to expect, but also
maybe you’re going going through one of
these things and then you can know that
nothing’s gone wrong and you’re right on
track to your highest healing, right?
So let’s just get into it.
And actually, before we get into it, I
want to honor the fact that this is
actually a discussion that I impromptu
had with my membership clients.
So for those of you who don’t know, I do
have a monthly membership and together as
a community, we go through a four step
process of creating naturally healthy
eating habits and losing weight for the last time.
So you’ll learn how to stop overeating,
emotionally eating, regulating your
stress, all the skills that are necessary
to lose weight long term.
And this is actually a topic I brought up in a 90 day experience that we are doing together.
So again, if you missed it right now in
the membership, we’re doing a 90 day
experience that symbolizes your first 90
days of transformation.
So what’s happening is I’m just voice
messaging the ladies every every single
day and we’re able to go through just a
topic of discussion together.
And it’s been really fun.
And this was one that came up and the ladies really found it helpful.
So.
Hope you find this helpful and let’s just get right into it.
But if an experience like that is something you want to participate in, it’s not too late.
I’m setting it up now.
So any of you who join the membership, you get access to this first 90 days experience right when you join.
So it’s kind of like you’re welcome into the community for your first few months.
So if you want to participate, you can go to katrentice.
com forward slash membership and you’ll get indoctrinated, you’ll get welcomed, and you’re going to get all the love when you join.
It’s a really welcoming space.
So, okay, without further ado, let’s get into the juice of today’s episode.
So really, I will hear a lot of thoughts
from y’all going through this journey
along the coaching and along your
progress.
And of course, you’re going to have
thoughts like, this is really hard, this
is really tough.
And first, I really want to validate that
because what we learn in my process, and
you may have learned on the podcast, is
that the actions to weight loss are very
simple and solvable.
Okay, so in my process, for example,
there is nothing you will learn that is
not highly logical and easily
understandable.
And you will create results if you show
up to the process, right?
So that’s the logical side.
That’s the side that’s very easy for us intellectuals to understand.
But, and this is a very big but, we are also human.
okay?
And I know how inconvenient this is.
We are also human beings.
And, as someone who identifies as quite
intellectual, as a lot of you probably do
too, this is the biggest struggle I see
my ladies have in coaching, where we will
understand that we’re human, but, you
know, we’ll kind of know it on the
intellectual level, but we won’t really
process that fact.
It’s like, no, you are human, as in it’s never just going to be logical.
You’re not just going to be able to know how weight loss is created and then just do it, right?
You’re going to have emotional triggers.
You’re going to have healing.
You’re going to have things to process.
And this is okay.
It actually doesn’t need to be big and scary.
We just need to kind of accept that fact, right?
I had one client who used the word relenting to it, which I love that.
very much was my experience.
I’m like, like, fine, fine.
I’m a human and I’m going to have to figure out how to lose weight and have these results along with my humanness.
So that’s what I want you to know.
And we are humans who are going to have thousands of thoughts every day.
We’re going to have deep emotions in the process of healing, which is really, really beautiful.
And it gives us, you know, a dynamic experience of life.
But I need all of you to establish and
validate that this is going to be the
hard of losing weight.
It’s not that the process of weight loss is ever going to be complicated.
That is always going to be simple.
What’s going to be hard are what we’re going to lovingly call today as the growing pains.
So it’s the emotional processing that you’re going to have to go through.
And we’re going to talk about some expected growing pains of this process.
But the best, most cliche analogy of this
that just fits perfectly is a butterfly’s
metamorphosis, right?
So when it’s turning from a caterpillar
to a butterfly, Most of us know that it
goes through the chrysalis stage, which
is where it’s in that cocoon.
It turns to goo, and then it comes out as something gorgeous and beautiful.
And we’re not going to compare, like, say, our caterpillar version is not good enough and not beautiful, but you get what I’m saying here.
There’s a lot of goo and muck that has to happen, and none of us are exempt from that.
I think that what holds type A women back
the most with full transformation with
their bodies and their minds is that they
think they can kind of logic or out intellectual the gooey.
Like there’s a version of this
transformation that looks perfectly
orderly, perfectly showing up, you know,
it’s going to look very organized.
And I want to offer you that.
That won’t be the case.
That sounds like such terrible news.
And listen, I get you.
I am so skilled at organization and order and things like that.
But when it comes to behavioral changes that are going to stick with you for life, right?
There’s trial and error that you’re going
to have to participate in that we can’t
put into a box.
We can’t organize in that really meticulous, micromanaging type A way that we know and love.
And so your emotions that you will need to process are part of that messiness.
The growing pains are part of that humanness.
And like my one client said, and I love this word, we’re going to have to relent to that and surrender to that a little bit.
So Let’s talk about what some of these
growing pains are that I want you to
expect, or again, maybe you’re going
through it right now, and this can just
be really validating for you.
The first one is one that I talk about a
lot, and it is one that I think separates
my process and my coaching from a lot of
other resources, because something that
my process does is we help you mourn the
loss of your expectations.
So I’m gonna talk about what I mean by that.
And really the emotion I want you to
expect in your transformation with weight
or with your body is the emotion of grief.
Okay, this is not something that you
might expect, but I want you to expect
kind of a grief where you start mourning
the fact that you will never fully meet your own expectations in this area of your life.
This sounds like terrible news, but I promise it’s gonna feel like an exhale in just a second.
Because here’s what I mean by this.
doesn’t mean that you’re not gonna create
the body you want, the result you want,
fit in the pant size you want, have the
better health you want, the better sleep,
not feel sick after your meals.
You’re gonna create all of that.
I promise.
You’re gonna create that.
But this is separate from performance or
enoughness standards that we have with
ourselves, with our health.
And something that a lot of ambitious
women have who are focused on getting
healthy, including myself, is we will
have this almost like unicorn standard.
It’s the light at the end of the tunnel
where we think, oh, when I become her, my
life is just going to be so different,
right?
Like we all have that.
Like I know unicorn cat very, very well.
She never has human emotions.
She always follows through when she says she’s going to.
And progress always looks organized and perfect.
She never has any messiness whatsoever.
And I know all of you have a unicorn you too.
And what the grieving process is like in
my process with the ladies is lot of the
time they’re just processing the fact
that they’re always going to be human.
You know what I mean?
They’re always going to have some messiness and busyness and things are never going to look polished.
like maybe they’re attached to.
But where the healing happens is they
learn that they don’t need to be
perfectly polished to have all the
results they want and the fulfillment of
that.
So I say grief just in the context of
mourning the loss of maybe this unicorn
version that we thought we could get to
that wasn’t really human.
She might be a little bit of a robot.
And you know, that’s great.
At best, the unicorn version of us is
something we can aspire to, which is
positive, but it can also then be
something we feel attached to or compare
ourselves to, which isn’t useful.
Okay, so I hope that makes sense.
It’s mourning the loss of our unicorn self.
So the next growing pain I see a lot is sadness.
And again, I know this sounds like such a bummer, but you guys, these emotions don’t have to debilitate you.
When you expect them and you hold space for them, it can feel like a relief when you allow this to process.
Because here’s the thing, I want you to expect a little sadness maybe in this journey.
Because the The sadness I see come up
most for my women I coach is the sadness
of letting go of a past version of
themselves that they probably like or
love or have had good times with.
So for me, I think a lot about the past
cat when I was quite young and she
identified as kind of a free spirit and
just went with the flow, which kind of
sounds crazy, right?
Because what happened with that is then I
went all the way to the other side I
became very micromanagy.
But there was a version of myself where I
would think about food and my body as,
life’s too short and it doesn’t matter
what I eat and it’s totally fine.
And yeah, that created a lot of good times.
But I was then miserable after the fact because I felt unhealthy.
I didn’t have the results I wanted.
And in my process, we call it the difference between parent and child energy.
So in my process, essentially you learn
how to be a good parent of yourself and
have a relationship to that child part of
you that feels stable and steady.
What my past version was, it was a parent, I’m sorry, it was a child without a parent.
And that can create a lot of good times, but how unsafe does that feel at the end of the day?
How unsteady does that feel because she’s not getting her needs met?
And so now what I have is a parent-child
relationship, but there was kind of a
sadness there of like, almost like, okay,
it’s time to grow up.
It’s time for me to have a parent in the
room when I, you know, make eating
decisions and I go throughout decisions
with my body because it doesn’t mean I
can’t enjoy the same things that the
child did.
It’s just different, right?
It’s just different.
And sometimes it’s okay to have a sadness
about that, where you realize the
transition that you’re going through.
Another one is inadequacy.
So inadequacy is kind of just that not enoughness part of us, right?
And what this means in terms of growing
pains is processing the fact that you
will always have a brain that that tries to other you.
Okay, and I say this from so much
experience, you guys, I coach for a
living, I’ve done it for a decade, and my
brain still tries to other me.
And what this means is my brain will think I’m a special case.
So my brain thinks that it’s because of
me that I’m not getting a result, or it’s
me who’s flawed, or, you know, my body’s
working against me, things like that.
And our brain is just very self-focused,
and it’s gonna continue to single you out
and believe somehow in a world of
billions of people, that you must be a
unique, flawed case.
And the reason why this is a growing
pain, which sounds kind of weird, but
it’s a growing pain, is because imposter
syndrome like this, where you lessen your
view of yourself, is a symptom of growth
because your brain seeks to keep you the
same.
And it’s a very primitive thing that our brain does.
And so imposter syndrome doesn’t happen if you’re not stretching your identity.
It happens when you’re going somewhere new.
So just remember that if you’re feeling
inadequacy or like, who am I to do this
in your journey, that is normal and it
means you’re going in the right direction.
Shame is another one.
So shame is where we’re like, oh, I didn’t do it right.
I should have done better.
We know shame all too well, probably for a lot of us.
And you, if you are doing it right
sustainably and building skills, you
won’t perform in the way you think you
should.
So what happens with all of my clients, right?
They come into my process really thinking
that they will be the best student, and
then they end up going through the
growing pain of shame when they realize
to build skills, you can’t do it right
all the time, right?
It’s kind of like learning a sport.
It’s, you know, you have to get into, I
don’t play basketball, but you have to
get into the basketball and learn how to
shoot baskets in order to get better,
which means you’re going to miss a lot of
baskets versus thinking you can like read
a handbook on basketball and then you’ll
know it intellectually and then you’ll
just shoot the baskets perfectly, right?
That’s not how changing your eating behaviors works and working with your body.
It’s learning a skill.
And sometimes that’s the only context we’re missing, that it’s not taking a test and just knowing the right answers.
When we think that way, that puts us into shame because we’ll think, well, I should know better.
No, you’re just learning a skill.
That’s all that’s happening.
But you might still have a brain that thinks like kind of that intellectual textbook approach.
And that’s where you’ll think, oh, I’m just doing it wrong.
But shame is a symptom that you are participating in the trial and error skill building of your growth.
So it is in fact a growing pain and it is okay.
And you will start to acclimate to it where it doesn’t slow you down and it doesn’t feel like that big of a deal anymore.
The last one I want to talk about is fear.
So fear comes up in a very, very specific way with my clients.
It’s when things are working.
And when you join my process, which I really hope you do, because it’s a really, really great membership.
And what will happen is you’re going to start seeing results pretty quickly, but you know, in a foundational way.
So it’s not a light switch where the weights all of a sudden just going to drop, although there are cases where that can happen.
But most likely you’re going to notice gradual changes with your body.
So where you start off in the process,
you’re going to learn how to lower stress
naturally, and you’re going to notice
that your cravings go down and you’re not
craving foods anymore when before you
really, really did, right?
So this is a result that maybe you haven’t experienced before.
Most haven’t.
And it might jar you a little bit because
you’re going to start having fear that
you didn’t work incessantly hard for that
result to happen.
You just did really simple skill building.
And you might think, Can it really be
this easy, though?
Like, when is this going to go away?
I didn’t do anything to earn this, right?
What will keep these results if I’m not being hypervigilant or I’m not constantly making sure that they’re happening?
So what I’m saying is a lot of women who
join my process, and maybe this is you,
You think that this requires so much
effort because that’s what you’re used to
doing, and that’s how you’re used to
creating these results when they really
don’t at all with the right strategy.
And so the fear might be that you’re not doing enough when you’re creating results.
It’s going to feel unstable, and that’s
just a growing pain that you’re going to
adapt to, and you’re going to adapt to
letting your results occur simply and
sustainably.
which is something you may not expect because I know you want your results to be simple and sustainable.
Of course you do, but your nervous system is not going to be acclimated to that yet.
So just something to expect and expecting it can make it a whole lot easier.
And at the end of the day, I want you to
know that the process of changing your
eating habits and weight loss, it is
foolproof.
There is not one woman who has had a set of circumstances that we couldn’t work with together to get them where they want to go.
We can always come up with solutions.
It’s solvable.
We can always make it work, right?
But the journey through this process is tough.
It is tough.
It is something that will require you to
go through the ooey gooey chrysalis stage
of your emotional journey because you’re
acknowledging, surrendering to, and
releasing blocks that have held you back
in the past, right?
So it’s not going to be insanely confronting.
It’s going to feel kind of like, I want
to say, I don’t want to say a hug, like
it’s not always going to feel comforting,
but it’s going to feel like a relief to
acknowledge these things that have held
you back, and it takes courage to do that.
But what I want you to know is
normalizing growing pains like this is
really important because you’re going to
have growing pains like this at every
area of your life that you want to
improve in.
So I don’t want to just position these growing pains as something that you have to do to get results.
I want to position them as something that
is really natural and expected any time
you want to improve at anything,
especially in our work with weight loss,
but in any area of your life, because
y’all, there is nothing that you can’t get through if you normalize and expect it.
Having these emotions is not suffering as
long as we don’t resist them and we know,
hey, it’s okay that I’m sad.
It’s okay that I’m feeling a little inadequate.
It’s okay that I’m having some shame because I still have a brain that thinks I need to do it right all of the time.
And really, it is a metamorphosis, as cheesy as it sounds.
It’s an evolution.
And the way I see these growing pains at
every cycle of my growth, I see it kind
of like this rhythm tide going in and
out, right?
I see it as something so natural and necessary, and I do think there’s beauty in that.
But what I want for you today is just, of
course, to offer you some perspective
that may help you, but also to validate
you if you’re feeling some grief or
sadness or inadequacy doesn’t mean
anything’s gone wrong, my love.
It just means that you’re going through the metamorphosis of the changes that you’re looking for.
And If you want more support with this,
don’t hesitate to get more inside my
world.
I have a spot for you in my community and
feel free to join us at that membership
because you don’t have to do this alone
too.
I think sometimes with the growing pains, I know what makes it feel so much worse for me is when I feel alone and isolated.
And that’s when it really makes it easy for me to be a special snowflake.
I’m not going to lie.
My brain is the one that will say, I’m
just a special case and I am having it a
bit harder than everyone else, which of
course is never true.
So I digress.
If you want more support with this, get inside the membership.
You can go to again, catrentos.
com forward slash membership to learn more and join.
But I love you so much.
I sincerely hope you are having a great week and you’re taking care of yourself.
And as always, thank you so much for being here with me today.
All right, I will talk to you next week.