Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the podcast this week. I’m happy you’re here. And today we’re going to talk all about your healthy eating morning routine. And first off, I want to mention that you do not need a perfect morning routine to eat healthy consistently or reach your ideal weight. But what I do want to discuss in this episode are what notions you may be having of morning routines that are keeping you stuck now, And how you can support yourself to have a morning routine that fits your healthy eating goals. So the biggest problem we need to address is that you think healthy eating and everything else for that matter will be solved externally by perfecting or micromanaging your external environment. All right, so this is why we often become obsessed with the concept of a morning routine, or planning, or tracking things externally with food, because we really believe that if we solve externally our environment, then everything will be fixed.

And here’s where this all [00:01:00] starts, this belief system. And I want you to picture how this scenario fits you. You wake up each morning with overwhelm, frustration, and panic, maybe, due to this internal dialogue in your mind that things are too much, nothing will ever get done, and time is running out. So I want you to think about what your thoughts are that create feelings of discomfort the moment you wake up in the morning.

So this emotional state, if you can relate, feels very, very reactive and even helpless while it’s happening. You’ll feel like you’re on fire and your life is a bit of a hot mess. So what do you do in response to this once it’s over?

You then think that the problem is that things in your life are actually on fire and your life is a hot mess. So then you work to avoid fires in your life and any hot mess that may occur, which means you think you will need to. focus on externally having it all together in your life to avoid this experience.

So you develop [00:02:00] organization planning and micromanaging tendencies to attempt to indefinitely avoid anything being out of order. This is where perfectionism can occur. Perfectionism is fear. It’s fear that things in your life will fall out of order because you have an emotional state that feels overwhelming, frustrating, or.

the problem with this

is that you are an imperfect human living an imperfect human life.

Often with kids, relationships, and careers. So you’ll plan for perfection and curate the perfect morning routine, and then it never goes that way, right? You’ll know this if you’ve tried, maybe it goes that way for a season and then season Something happens, life gets in the way, and then it just falls off the rails.

Everything then feels out of order because to you, fires in your life need to be put out and your life is too much in shambles to have that routine. And you think that the problem is you. That externally things are not in order enough where what the problem actually is, [00:03:00] is the expectation you are having of a morning routine.

So in short, your morning routine that you carefully have crafted does not sustainably exist with your current state. So then you think the solution is to get even more micromanagy, even more organized. So you research morning routines even more. If you’re like I was, you might even obsess over morning routines a bit.

Yeah. And this is so okay. I do have a morning routine, so I’m going to talk a bit more about that. But like with everything I teach, we are going to help you get to the root of the problem here. Because you don’t just want to slap a short term morning routine on that doesn’t solve this problem. You want to change your eating behaviors.

You want to lower stress, So you can lower cravings in your life. So there is an order of priorities that needs to happen here. What I really want you to see is this. The root problem is that you’re waking up each day in a reactive brain state. So your brain is waking up with a [00:04:00] filter over your life that is making it feel overwhelming.

So then from that place, you attempt to micromanage your external environment even more, which doesn’t really solve the root problem, which is your stress state. So the solution, the big solution is not to first focus on that perfect morning routine or what you want created externally. It’s to fill your own cup first through stress management.

So you need to start early. All of this by regulating your nervous system, and I promise you, this is not as complicated as it sounds. You are going to start by lowering your stress. Now I like to acknowledge that for those of us who are type A, this is never what any of us want to hear because we’re really attracted to the list, the to dos, the external methods, but I’m not here to tell you what you want to hear.

I am here to help you solve this problem, and you cannot type A and perfect a morning routine through your actions alone. You need [00:05:00] to do the internal work to care for your emotional state. And this does not need to take a lot of time or energy. It simply requires your deliberateness and prioritization.

So here’s what you need to do. You’re going to schedule a time after you wake up where you are going to

gain awareness of your mind. So I would start by scheduling 15 minutes. It can be while you’re still in bed, in the bathroom, it does not matter. Schedule 15 minutes to write down physically what your thoughts are. You can also start with how you’re feeling, but just do a brain dump. Get everything out on paper that’s in your mind.

Write your thoughts about your kids, your husband, partner, job, whatever it is that’s in your brain that’s creating that overwhelm or frustration. Then I want you to observe what you wrote down objectively and neutrally. So do not opt into the stories of what you wrote down and take it to the next level.

Objectively notice them as an observer. The goal is to get to a place where you [00:06:00] can observe those thoughts and see, Oh, of course I’m feeling overwhelmed. It’s because I’m thinking I’m running out of time. Or, oh, of course I’m feeling frustrated.

It’s because I’m thinking my kids shouldn’t be behaving this way and they should be different. Or, oh, of course I’m feeling resentful. It’s because I’m believing my partner doesn’t care about my needs. So you don’t have to disagree with the thoughts you write down. or agree with them for that matter, just notice them.

It’s enough. And doing this act every morning is going to help you start regulating these emotions. So, rather than waking up and having them surprise you, you’re going to start expecting them in a way that won’t be so severe because your body will start regulating them just by observing them.

If you wake up each day feeling like a siren is going off in your body, you’re going to react to your mornings as such. And a siren is not going off. This is just your brain. And this is all manageable. Becoming [00:07:00] aware of your thoughts is a process and for my type A ladies, this is the thing that you will most want to skip.

I say this from experience, but make this a priority because it is the priority. Watch your stress go down each morning and then watch how much easier it is to show up to the tasks you want to complete. what you’re going to do after you have solidified this. Is you’re going to take time to decide your actual priorities in the mornings.

So not aspirational priorities, but actual priorities. So here’s the difference. Actual priorities likely include getting your kids to school, showing up to work, putting clothes on. I’m talking about the things that if you do not do them, will have actual negative consequences that day. Okay. So harm likely won’t come to you, but there will be a very real negative consequence.

So if you don’t get your kids to school, negative consequence, show up to work, negative consequence, putting clothes on, negative consequence. You can even [00:08:00] distinguish for yourself what that negative consequence will be if you don’t do that thing. These are your actual priorities. Aspirational priorities are things that would add value to your day, but do not have a clear negative consequence that day when you do not do it. Examples of this might be meditation, preparing your lunch, preparing your kids lunches, putting on makeup, et cetera, et cetera. And if you notice some resistance right now to doing this, here’s what I want you to know.

We are not saying here together that you’re not going to do aspirational priorities each day. We are just separating things that are absolutely essential from things that are not essential. for your survival brain. If you don’t show up to work, serious negative consequences may occur. A serious negative consequence does not occur from not wearing makeup, let’s say, or not making your kids lunch.

Maybe they can buy lunch that day. [00:09:00] Now, it’s going to be different for all of you, of course, right? But what I want you to be willing to do, very honestly, is to discern what the differences are between your actual priorities and your aspirational priorities for the mornings. What actual priorities must occur and what aspirational priorities are safe to separate from that standard?

Most morning routines that you’ve attempted or you’ll feel compelled to Create, have a host of aspirational priorities that are not necessary. And it’s not that you won’t want to do some of those things or that they won’t add value to your life. Of course they do, but they’re raising the stakes as to what is necessary for you to show up in the mornings.

And right now what we want to do is lower the stakes for you. The actual priorities list, if you did it right, should be pretty short. So it should not be lengthy. I’m thinking maybe four to five things max, but it will be individual to you. You’ll notice that aspirational [00:10:00] priorities are much longer.

And when you have a type A, more perfectionistic brain, you will have the faulty belief that you can do it all. So we will genuinely believe this when we make the morning routines, that we can indefinitely show up in that way. We’ll think I should be able to do it all. We’ll want to hold ourselves to a standard, but this standard that you are holding yourself to.

Isn’t doable for you as an imperfect human. in the long run. So this exercise that we’re doing here is just clearing all of that out so you can see the reality and set a realistic expectation. So then once you’ve done this and you’ve separated the actual priorities from aspirational priorities, then what I want you to do is with the aspirational priorities, you want to sort those from most important to least important.

And you will do it in a way that makes sense for you. So for me, and I’m going to be totally honest, putting on my makeup each day would go above meditation. So I do meditate some [00:11:00] days and I’ll talk about that, but I also know that I don’t want to show up without makeup on. So that would go higher. It’s not that I feel like I need to do that to survive.

I have no urgency around it. I have just established where it sits on my list of aspirational priorities. So the world will not come crumbling down if I show up on Zoom with my own your eating habits clients with no makeup on, but it is a priority for me personally. So don’t sort out your own aspirational priorities from Shoulds or have tos, let this be personal and realistic to you.

What is the order that you want to prioritize those aspirational priorities?

So here’s where you should be at. You have scheduled 10 to 15 minutes of thought dumping so you can regulate your stress. And in Own Your Eating Habits, we have a detailed process for doing this, so if you’re a nerd like me or you want a more in depth process, you’ll want to join us inside there, but even just doing a thought dumping will help you.

Get it on paper. Then distinguish your actual priorities from your [00:12:00] aspirational priorities in the mornings. Be ruthless with this. If it’s not necessary for your overall survival or safety, put it in the aspirational category. Use your best guess here because only you’re going to know for yourself. And And then sort your aspirational priorities by level of priority.

So what aspirational priorities are most important and least important to you? So I’m going to give you an example using my morning routine. And again, yours is going to look very individual to you, but here’s how I do this for myself. So you can have some context. So of course I schedule that 15 minutes of thought dumping time.

A great episode on this that I created is called doing the work. The one question I ask myself daily. So feel free to scroll back and give that a listen. In this time, I get out of my head and observe what thoughts are creating my emotional state, which allows me to process it. So I do this each morning.

It’s my non negotiable. Then I’ve separated my actual priorities from aspirational priorities. And I’ll [00:13:00] tell you what my actual priorities are currently. So my actual priorities right now are feeding my dogs, putting on clothes for the day, showing up to work, drinking water, and eating breakfast that includes fiber and protein. Or I tend to get fatigued when those needs aren’t met. So I know I’m keeping it very simple with you guys and just telling you what works for me.

But. I want you to know that this is after I’ve linged out all of the aspirational priorities from that list, and there are many. I, like many of you, am a very aspirational person, but those don’t have place in the actual priorities. So now, my morning routine that is absolutely necessary has gotten a heck of a lot simpler.

I just know I need to feed the dogs. Put on clothes, show up to work, drink water, and then just eat breakfast that has fiber and protein. Yours is going to look different. So for you moms, it’s the actual priorities for your kids. Maybe your job requires a commute. So it’s driving to work. Those are the things that you’re going to write down.

Then I’ve sorted my aspirational [00:14:00] priorities from most important to least. So I’ll share with you some of those. My most important aspirational priorities are. Are exercise and doing my hair and makeup. My least important aspirational priorities are making the bed, cooking my own breakfast. So not ordering something or grabbing something.

Reading and meditation. Now, here’s what’s interesting. Once I prioritized stress regulation in my life, which comes from the thought dumping we discussed, my emotional capacity for the aspirational priorities got greater. Additionally, once I established that these priorities were aspirational, And not actual, I lowered the stakes with them massively.

And then that expanded my capacity for them even more. So really, I just lowered the stakes so much on these aspirational priorities that it expanded my emotional capacity to show up to them. So, more days than not, these are things that I do, do in my [00:15:00] mornings.

I’m able to rest knowing that the actual priorities are untouchable and they’re always doable. Then I can relax into knowing that perfection is not required to succeed in my days, which gives me a greater capacity to make room for the aspirational priorities without stress.

Now you’ll notice I’m speaking today about a morning routine pretty broadly. This does not just apply to healthy eating. It can apply to anyone listening, which is great. Great. So share with anyone who needs help with a morning routine, but the reason is that you don’t need a morning routine to make healthy eating decisions that create the results with your body that you want.

Eating decisions can happen in a single moment. In a single moment, you can decide to not eat emotionally Only eat when you’re hungry and stop eating when you’re full. It can be that simple, but what will often happen is we will complicate what it takes to eat healthy in the form of external tools, like a morning routine or prep or planning or tracking.

So in [00:16:00] other words, you’ll think you need a morning routine to make healthy eating decisions. And this is not the case. Stress regulation is necessary because that will lower cravings and regulate your appetite. which is a non negotiable practice and own your eating habits. The rest of it is optional, but I’m hoping that what we walked through today helps you navigate that line between micromanaging a morning routine in a way that doesn’t serve you and including elements of a morning routine where it can serve you.

On your worst day, regulate your stress and complete your actual priorities on your best day. Do those things. And add in your aspirational priorities, but just don’t make the mistake of believing that there will ever be a morning routine that you can indefinitely follow through with aspirationally.

That’s depending on perfect performance to care for yourself, and we don’t want to do that. Always aspire to care for yourself in the best way possible in the mornings, but do so in a way that manages [00:17:00] expectations properly for you as a human. So my homework to you is to try this for yourself, walk yourself through this process, have fun with it, see what comes up, use this to learn a bit about yourself and see how you can support yourself further.

I hope you enjoyed this episode today. Thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you soon.