Hello, my friends, welcome back to the Healthy Eating for Busy Women podcast.I’m happy you’re here with me. I hope that you’re either somewhere comfortable where you can be present with today’s episode, or if you’re on the go and just […0.4s] on your way to work or, in between tasks and this is where you could fit this time in.I’m also happy you’re here because I know how hectic life can get and you listening to this podcast is you prioritizing your health and well being? And that’s a really big deal.So […0.5s] today I want to talk about something that has really been on my heart to speak about. And it’s interesting because I’m very much in a season of this work, my business, all the stuff […0.5s] where, I’m just gonna word it this way, I am getting over myself a bit.I really think that in the beginning of me […0.5s] sharing my message and running this company, I really wanted to share this work in a way that could help as many people as possible. And that still stands.But you guys, I really think it’s so important to […0.5s] talk about things on this podcast and online […0.5s] that […0.4s] not everyone will be ready to hear or not everyone will agree with. And the concept of weight loss shaming.Today […0.5s] is one of those things. So here’s what I wanna say. This episode […0.4s] might be a little triggering for some of us. It might […0.5s] come up against some things that you haven’t yet looked at, or some blockages that you’re having with this area of your life. And that is to serve you, it is to help you, it is to get you to that next level.Cause what I know if you’re here with me is that you want different results, and you haven’t quite figured out how to get them or get them long term. And what is most important to me is that you all get to have the experience of your body that you want in this one short lifetime.I think that it’s […0.5s] affects every area of your life. I think that those that say it doesn’t aren’t truly understanding what it means to never have to worry about your weight, to never have to question if you wanna wear an article of clothing, to never have to think about your body when you’re at the beach. Or, you’re showing skin to […0.4s] always feel your healthiest, and maybe never feel sick after a meal.It changes everything, and so the stakes are really high here, you guys. Because the work we do here getting to your ideal weight, having healthier eating behaviors, it affects everything. And I want you to know that I know that, and that is the side I am advocating for.So here’s what I’m gonna say. I’m gonna get right into it, and this is gonna be a really unfiltered discussion.Today […0.4s] I want you to not let anyone shame you for wanting to lose weight. That is where I wanna start. Do not let anyone shame you for wanting to lose weight. So […0.5s] do not let anyone who tells you if you want to lose weight, be healthier, live a longer life, feel more comfortable that this means you don’t love yourself.I’ve done this for quite a while while now, so those of you who know me know I’ve been in this business for […0.4s] almost a decade now, helping women change the way they eat. And my process has grown over the years, but I really have seen it all. And there’s kind of an ebbing flow of approaches to health that happens every few years or so.And we’re definitely in this app right now of shaming when it comes to weight loss. And that if you want to lose weight, it must mean something negative, which […0.4s] is crazy, right? But let’s talk about it. If anyone is telling you that it is wrong for you to want to lose weight, that is projection.Always they are projecting their shame onto you, their insecurities onto you, which I wanna acknowledge it is childish. And that’s not saying I’m perfect at it. I am also a flawed human.I have projected before, we all have, and we’re gonna do that. The point is that when you see someone else projecting their insecurities with the topic of weight loss onto you, […0.6s] solidify that this is childish behavior, and it is emotional immaturity. And here’s what has happened.I wanna take a moment to talk about […0.4s] body positivity, right? This is just a term that we’ve […0.4s] used to identify a movement. And there’s a lot of discourse happening about whether it’s positive or negative. As you guys know, I don’t think it’s useful to live in extremes and just put a yes or no stamp on anything.I think there’s nuances. I think it’s important to talk about those things. And what I have seen […0.5s] in my work over these years is that body positivity can have two roads to it.Now the first road is great. And what I see is that body positivity means we should accept all bodies that we see. And we should accept a woman’s decision to be in the body that she wants […0.4s] or prefers. That is her choice. And I think this is so important and there’s been a lot of good work done around that.What I most often seeing, and this is where we are in the EB right now. And it’s very hard to watch.The other side of body positivity has been indulging a lot of childish behavior. And it is almost popular to engage in this take because what summer taking body positivity to mean is that we should condone being unhealthy.And it’s shaming those who want to lose weight and assuming things about them because they want to lose weight to be comfortable to, of course, be healthier.We have just lost the plot, right? You guys were losing weight is healthy for the right […0.5s] reasons. And what’s crazy is all of these people online […0.5s] who are saying you shouldn’t wanna lose weight, that means you don’t love your body.Having all these judgments of you or whoever […0.4s] are not specialists in this area, who know anything about your safety and doing this the right way, what it means to do this the right way, how to do this without shame. They don’t know anything about that. If they did, they wouldn’t be sharing these flawed judgments, right?What I can tell you is having, helped thousands of women, and, really having an eye on when someone is wanting to lose weight for reasons that serve them or don’t.I can tell you if you are here, and this makes sense to you, you likely wanna lose weight for very good solid trusting reasons with yourself. And we’ve gotta make sure we hold firm in that. But what I wanna offer with body positivity is we have just girl bossed way too close to the sun. We have taken it way too far, and we want to re center here.We wanna bring ourselves back, and what I’ll say is if you are listening to this, and you’re a little triggered, it’s okay. Or if you are triggered at anyone who wants to lose weight, ask yourself why. This is just a healthy thing for us to do as humans.Ask yourself why you are triggered, what you’re thinking, what feelings are coming up? Maybe […0.5s] you actually do wanna lose weight, and you haven’t been real with yourself, but you think it’s not accessible to you.You think that you’re gonna have to push yourself, give up foods you love, restrict, and that’s the judgment you’re actually having.What’s interesting about projection. When people shame us or you, or whoever for wanting to lose weight, they’re actually projecting the relationship they have to weight loss, which this is what the brain does projection is you give yourself away to someone else, and someone else just acted as a mayor to show how you’re actually thinking about that thing.So you guys, if anyone ever says you must not love yourself, you’re gonna restrict yourself. Oh, whatever their opinion is, that’s the belief they’re having around weight loss.And do not take their crappy relationship to weight loss and health, and having a more fulfilled life on, because that is going to be toxic. And all my love goes to these people, because I’ve been in all the places.I have no judgment, but you can have a relationship to weight loss that is the healthiest, most loving journey you’ve ever been on, right. But if you are triggered by people who wanna lose weight, know with love that, that is your business. That is internal things that are going on there, that I want you to humbly practice being aware of.Now if you want to lose weight, because, you’d be happier and healthier without a doubt, having that result where you feel lighter in your body, less worries, you feel more authentically yourself.Block out all the noise and the people who are project their insecurities onto you, because even well meaning people, all of us have seen this, right. You’ll want to lose weight or you’ll have lost weight, whatever it is, maybe you’re most commonly right.You’ll be at a dinner, and you’ll choose to eat less, or you will choose to order something different. Now what do people do? Don’t you know how beautiful you are? You don’t need to lose weight. Oh my gosh, are you on a diet?I want you guys to notice […0.6s] that it may sound loving on paper, but it might actually be judgment and shaming going on.And here’s the thing, you guys, I always want us to assume the best of our loved ones, but people get triggered around people who are being their healthiest selves, treating their bodies well and losing weight.It will trigger people, especially women, because now all their judgments will come up, and their bad relationship with weight loss will come up.And we’ll see it, […0.5s] and we all have our own work about this, but do not let that projection keep you safe, limit you from the goals that you have right now, now here’s the thing you’re gonna have to be so solid in your reasons […0.4s] for […0.4s] losing weight, because both sides are gonna seek to keep you stuck from this weight loss and this body that you wanna have.There will be people who are more toxic about it and negative about it, and say, well, you must not love your body, you must you must that.That’s gonna happen, maybe, especially in the online space, or it could happen from a more tender comforting approach where someone’s like, no, but you’re fine. You really don’t need to lose weight. Don’t be so insecure, we love you, haha.Don’t let either side […0.5s] trick you or influence you into not creating a result with your body that will change your life. It will allow you to show up differently in any aspect.Be solid in your reasons, […0.4s] something I used to do, and even still if I’m working on my body, and someone says, oh, you must not love yourself, or oh, don’t you know you’re so beautiful?My response is like, yes, and I love being healthier, right, sure, of course, and here’s why I’m doing it.I don’t indulge […0.4s] any of it, you guys, and you have permission not to indulge it either. We can’t control the humans. We don’t have to be angry at them or teach them something, but you also get to hold your ground for your reason for wanting to do this.I don’t have to tell you if you’re here with me, why feeling lighter in your body and healthier and losing that weight will change your entire life, but know your reasons for you. So these judgments and these projections don’t shake you so much. I also in partnership with this once you to visualize […0.4s] this peaceful version […0.4s] of losing weight. And what I mean by that is the projections these people give are that […0.5s] losing weight must be, it must involve a lot of suffering.It must mean something unhealthy towards yourself. Maybe they assume it means that you’re trying to fit into a body standard that isn’t useful. They have an ugly version of what it means to lose weight.I want you to visualize this peaceful, beautiful, calming […0.4s] experience of losing weight and being in that body, so having been through my own journey, coaching women through theirs.Here’s what it tends to look like, right. Picture yourself in that ideal body, wearing the clothes you want, feeling the way you want to, […0.4s] and not having to worry about this at all. I want you to picture what it is like to wake up as her.I want you to picture what it looks like to show up at work or your mission, or whatever your day to day task is as her, where you feel most confident and you can just focus on […0.4s] the hard work you wanna do, cause you like how your body looks, and you feel good in it.I want you to imagine how differently you show up on vacations, time with your family, the beach, the pool, anything feeling light and healthy and safe in the body. I want you to notice how you sleep differently at night, what it feels like to put on your clothes everyday.I think […0.4s] when we picture these things, I want you to feel the peace of that, the settling into your body of that, that will exist when you have this result. That is what these people are not understanding, but I want you to understand this now.No matter where you’re at with your weight, no matter what part of the journey you’re in, because that is […0.6s] the version of this. I want you to start visualizing because that’s what’s in store for you. I think it’s also important to understand that, the phrase hurt people, hurt people will hurt people. And of course this is what projection is, wherever people are most hurting is what they will try and impose on to you. And people really don’t do this on purpose. Nine times out of 10, They’re not self aware enough to see why they’re doing it.But anyone’s thoughts about weight loss or health are reflective of their experience, and you do not have to take that on.Why I feel so strongly about this topic today is we have gone so far as to assume weight loss is unhealthy, as to assume eating less is restrictive. And I’ll coach you guys through this all the time.And I’ve been this person. I will have clients where they are at the phase of their healing, where it is time to stop eating when they’re full. And their brain will have a shameful relationship about eating less and honoring fullness, and say, well, I must be restricting myself.And that’s the thing we’ve got to address, because chances are what happened is this client or myself in the pastor, you […0.4s] have taken on beliefs that are super negative with getting healthier, right? I want you guys to take inventory of […0.6s] the wall.It sounds pretty. I want you to take inventory of maybe the body positivity or self care movement that have stuck, that give you an ugly relationship with eating healthier and weight loss. And I know that’s a strong statement, but, where it serves you, right.So one big thing is I don’t wanna restrict myself eating less. And just eating enough is not restricting yourself. Your body has been begging for you to do this, so it can be the healthiest, […0.5s] right. So you can stop feeling sick, so you can be at your ideal weight, so you can have more energy.If our body is a plant, it’s giving it the right amount of water. And what you’re believing is that […0.4s] less water is restricting the plant of water. No, my love, you’re overwatering it, right, I did this too. There’s no shame or judgment for me ever.But what judgment and interpretations of this work, healthy eating and weight loss do we have […0.6s] that paint a really ugly picture of it. And I’m here to help you guys feel good about making these changes.Do not lie to ourselves and say […0.4s] weight loss isn’t healthy. Eating less isn’t healthy. It’s all healthy, right? But of course, we’re not doing it in a way that starves us or that isn’t healthy. We’ve seen glimpses of that, but that’s not what we’re gonna do here. That is not your intent. And that is why you’re not with me.You’re here to be real with yourself, be honest with yourself and create results in a really mature way. And that means not taking on these projections from other people. It is so important.Now what I want you to do is to practice bringing yourself back to the reality of why you’re losing weight. Don’t let other people, your brain, whatever it is, convince you […0.5s] that the things you need to do to eat healthy and lose weight are unhealthy.Do not let the judgment seep in and tarnish this vision you have of yourself of when you’re gonna be at your ideal body. Because when you visualize this for you, that peaceful existence, […0.5s] she doesn’t restrict herself, right? She’s not bettering herself from shame. She doesn’t hate herself.That she’s not feeling pressured to make those changes. She’s not conforming to body standards. No, […0.6s] of course, she’s not doing it for these reasons. It’s because it helps her feel most at peace and showing up to the world.So all of us watch out for the shaming with weight loss, this judgment with weight loss in doing this for a while. You guys, […0.6s] what’s interesting about this work is every few years, the trends will change.I think we’re coming out of the body positivity a little bit and people are getting more real with themselves, which is great. But there’s pushback against it for sure. And then there might come a time when we need a little more softness again when restriction is happening, when people are doing it for shameful reasons. And I will be here, y’all, and I will be helping you and we will get back to center.So let’s not leave your weight loss on the table, this peaceful existence on the table that you will have when you get to this ideal body, stay centered in that.You guys say stay strong, know your reasons. And if you are ready […0.5s] to begin that process to your healthiest body to live in that state, join me inside on your eating habits.You guys. This is my coaching program, and this is where you will work step by step to this really peaceful version of your body that you want. So you can show up to your life differently. You can eat healthier in a way that feels good to you, that feels like yours.It’s all a process that’s designed […0.4s] to help you create this from your needs and preferences. So that vision that you have […0.6s] of that weight loss and that state of your body, that is what you will create in this program.And what’s really cool about it. We’re talking about shaming and judging here, but it is such a safe space. You will be surrounded by women who also have this standard of weight loss and this vision that you have.So if that sounds like the community for you, women of all ages around the world doing this work in the way I’m describing, get inside that program. It’s$79 a month. We probably spend more on that, on take out when we’re, in that place.I know I do. So I hope that that gives you that push to start this work today. I love you so much. I hope this was helpful and I really hope you have a great rest of your week.