Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the podcast this week. I am so excited and thrilled to offer you today’s episode topic, which is when to ditch the scale. And I know for so many of you, there’s conflicting information out there, right? Some sources will tell you that the scale is toxic and we should never use it.

Some sources will tell you it’s a non negotiable. And as you know, from my podcast, we’re always here to help you find what works for you individually. And there’s never a right or wrong. What I am going to offer you today is based on my years of experience, helping women in this area and helping hundreds of women lose weight in a way that works for them long term.

So

I’m very happy I can offer you this episode. So you can start to think about what relationship with the scale you want to have in your weight loss journey, as well as what is likely going to be the most effective for long term success. Now, quick disclaimer, before we get into today’s episode, I want you to take what serves you in today’s episode and just be yourself.

Put on a shelf what doesn’t serve you. This is the [00:01:00] case for all episodes. That is how I do things here. We are here to find what works for you. There is not a one size fits all approach. However, I want you to consider every perspective I’m offering today because there’s going to be things I want you to consider for the result you want to create.

However, you are free to take what serves you today and leave what doesn’t. Because talking about the scale is a very personal subject and you are going to have a unique relationship to it. And we want to honor that. Okay. So first off, I want us to consider those two opposite takes that are offered to you when it comes to the scale.

So the first take offered is that you need the scale to succeed with weight loss and you should always weigh yourself. at a specific time each week. Okay. The second take offer to you is that you should avoid the scale because it’s toxic and unhealthy.

So what I want you to know to remove this confusion is that the scale is a circumstance. It’s just a fact. It just exists and [00:02:00] everyone will have a different relationship to it. Today. I want you to explore what your relationship is to it. So we can find the path of least resistance to healthy eating and weight loss.

For you. And in my programs, that is exactly what I am here to help you find is the path of least resistance to creating and maintaining the result of healthy eating and weight loss in your life. So I work with very type a women. And what we do is we check our perfectionism and performatism at the door, and we learn how to create these results with bare minimum effort.

and action. We only focus on the essentials. Part of that means you figure out the path of least resistance to creating the result for yourself personally in a way that works for you. So in my process, you learn how to evaluate your own thoughts, emotions, body cues, food choices, relationship with food.

Everything. So then from that informed place, you can make decisions that serve you in this long [00:03:00] term goal. So why I’m saying this is I want you to understand that whether or not you use a scale to create progress. Again, we’ll be individual to you in coaching hundreds of women over the years to naturally healthy eating and permanent weight loss.

I can tell you what factors to consider when determining if it will serve you to use a scale and weigh yourself routinely, or if it won’t, but know this in my coaching and programs, we do not see the scale as morally good or morally bad. I do not think either perspective. actually serves you because that places a moral attachment to it, which is why I don’t tend to offer pro diet or anti diet culture in this podcast.

Obviously, if you know my work, you know, I don’t recommend dieting for long term results, but I say that from a place of expertise, experience, and data. I don’t say that from some moral high ground where I claim to know better than you and your wisdom. The scale is not a moral dilemma. There is [00:04:00] no right and wrong.

The scale is as neutral as a thermometer. It’s simply just taking the temperature of your weight. And when we step on it, we see a number that may ignite certain emotional experiences. And that is where we want to decide what road to take when it comes to the scale.

So I have had the privilege to help women from all walks of life, teachers, lawyers, celebrities, doctors, students, et cetera, et cetera. So every woman’s journey towards the end result looks individual to them. That’s what I can tell you. Now I do have a process.

I teach my clients, and then they can find their best path through that process and coaching from me.

So within my process, they can figure out what works for them individually.

It acts as guidelines, not rules and what will determine if you should use a scale or not will depend on the relationship you have to it now. And your relationship to the scale will change as you move through your journey to naturally healthy eating and permanent weight loss. So let’s [00:05:00] talk about what that can look like in the beginning of your journey to solving your food struggles for the last time, establishing healthy eating habits and losing weight.

You want to check the pulse. on your relationship to the scale. So even just asking yourself, what is your experience like of weighing yourself now? And you can think about that. What is your experience like of weighing yourself now? And this is not a judgment zone. Your experience is valid. So here’s the most common universal example I see with type A women.

The scale has become a relationship between success and failure, which actually means it’s now used as a measure of your self worth. So let me explain. Here’s what tends to happen. You step on the scale and you’re taking steps to eat healthier, make better choices, and let’s say you gain a pound or you don’t lose weight.

The experience that enters your mind is I failed. [00:06:00] Or, I’m a failure, which doesn’t have to do with the data, by the way. It’s not even about anything going drastically wrong. If the weight goes up, fluctuates, or doesn’t go down. In this moment, what you’re actually saying to yourself is, I, in my being, am a failure.

That is who I am. The resulting feeling of this is shame in the body. You create the emotional experience of shame, which does not feel good. Let’s clarify the difference between shame and disappointment real quick, because this is a really important topic when it comes to the scale.

Disappointment is acknowledging that you did not create a result you wanted. So you wanted the scale to go down because of course, in the case of weight loss goals. That makes sense, and it didn’t. It either stayed or it went up. Disappointment is just acknowledging that result. Disappointment can be tolerable because it’s not agitating in your body vibrationally.

It can be acknowledged and passed through. You [00:07:00] can then, from disappointment, evaluate what occurred, determine next steps, and move forward without much fuss. Shame, on the other hand, is not the simple acknowledgement of a result you wanted, then didn’t create. It’s not even about the result, even though it will seem like it is.

It’s actually about you. It’s taking the experience of the result and making it personal to you, your capabilities, your self worth, your value as a human. There is no weight fluctuation that can debilitate you emotionally when it’s just about the result because that’s just math.

The scale is math. What’s debilitating is what you make the result mean about you. It’s the shame from the thoughts that I am wrong. I am a failure, right? We want to stop blaming the scale for unhealthy patterns. Our brain is having, which aren’t our fault. It’s just how we are conditioned, but it’s actually not addressing the root problem.

If we write off the [00:08:00] scale or the number as being inherently unhealthy, because the scale is not unhealthy. It’s neutral. It’s math. Now, if the scale is highly triggering to you, this is likely your relationship to it. And here’s what’s interesting. This relationship also will show up when you lose weight.

And here’s how this happens for my women. When they start creating results without dieting, willpower or tracking, they’re creating these incredible weight loss results in ways they never knew were possible for them, right? So they see the weight go down on the scale with ease. And then here’s the emotional experience that occurs.

They experience doubt when they see the weight go down. They’ll invalidate their successes. They’ll tell themselves they’ll gain it back. They can’t trust themselves, et cetera, et cetera. When here’s what’s crazy. They’re the ones who created it by doing really foundational work. So if you join Own Your Eating Habits, there are no shortcuts.

Weight loss or changes to your eating habits you [00:09:00] create there are deeply ingrained. They showed up to create those results for themselves. And then when they do create the result, they invalidate their success. They’ll even have lost weight and made major changes and their brain will still offer doubt and convince them it’s not really working.

This is just how our brain works and there’s no shame in it. We all have this, but here’s what I want you to know. Shame might offer itself to you when you don’t lose weight on the scale, and doubt may present itself to you when you do lose weight on the scale. Both of these experiences don’t have anything to do with the scale itself.

It has to do with your relationship to yourself. And this area of your life, which brings me to what I offer women when they question if they should be weighing themselves or not. It depends on what’s the biggest priority for them at the moment in their health journey

and this is what I’m looking for in the own your eating habits process for women in that membership. The [00:10:00] questions to consider for yourself are one, where is your growth right now? And two, what is the path of least resistance? All right, so one, where is your growth right now and two, what is the path of least resistance to move through that growth?

So I’m going to offer you a couple of options here, and I want you to be really honest with yourself, especially those of you who are my client and own your eating habits. Is your main area of focus lowering stress and regulating your nervous system where everything feels too much and you feel like you can’t even settle down enough to take deliberate action with food? This is okay if you’re starting here. This is where many of us start. I certainly did. In this case, you want to focus on lessening the pressure of healthy eating and not stepping on the scale yet.

That is what I would generally recommend in the own your eating habits process. These are actually the first two steps of our process. You learn to manage your [00:11:00] mind and regulate stress. So it all feels easier. We want to bring that down because then you’re going to be in a place to actually be the scientist of your weight loss without it being this unnecessarily heightened experience.

So this is going to be your path of least resistance is lowering the stress. First, so it’s not all feeling so heightened and in doing this, you’ll also make initial weight loss progress, which will give you that motivation and momentum without needing to strictly focus on it.

In the beginning, you can focus on lowering stress. Healing emotional urges with food, minimizing cravings, et cetera. So it all feels more stable and you build that confidence. If you’re having this experience, do not think you can’t join us inside, own your eating habits and create massive results. This is exactly where you should be based on where you’re starting.

So we will help you if it’s all feeling kind of impossible. The process is designed to meet you where you are. So just know that. Now, here’s the other option. If your main [00:12:00] area of focus is taking different actions with food and harnessing responsibility for the weight result, where your stress has already gone down, you know your cravings have minimized and you notice you do have the capacity to make a decision in a moment with food.

So in other words, you see that you have the option in a moment to deliberately decide to honor fullness or overeat. I do not recommend not using a scale. And you all get to decide, right? There’s no universal rule here. But I want you to consider this take. Because your weight is a measurable piece of progress you want to observe to get the result you want.

It’s neutral in itself. When we’re triggered by what we see on the scale, it’s because of our relationship to ourselves

So, here’s when this scenario applies, and this is a common rite of passage for women in own your eating habits. So, what will happen is you’ll enter the program, learn the tools, and show up to coaching. As you begin the process and implement stress regulation, it’s all going to [00:13:00] feel easier. So, cravings will have minimized drastically, you’ll have less stress, and you’re losing some weight, likely, if that’s a goal that you have.

Or maybe you notice your body healing in other ways. So you have evidence that this is working foundationally. You feel more empowered and in control. You no longer feel debilitated or helpless in this area of your life, but you still see where you have areas of improvement with overeating, honoring body cues and emotional eating.

You still have weight to lose or results with your body to create. Now, what can happen because of the doubt I shared with you earlier is you’ll struggle to believe that you created these results, that they’re real, that you’ll keep succeeding. Your success will trigger your lack of belief in yourself, which is not a sad story. It’s normal. We prepare you for that. At this point is when every so often a client might say to me. You know, I’m not even attached to weight loss anymore. I feel so good. Really. I don’t even think I need [00:14:00] to lose weight. And at this point, I know exactly where they’re at and it’s time for them to learn how to build responsibility, focus, and deliberateness with this result without going too far into hustle.

willpower and burnout. What this work looks like with the scale or it can look like in most cases, is being able to observe the weight results on the scale each week as the scientist so you can evaluate and determine next steps because you do need that data when experimenting with what works.

In this case, this is the path of least resistance to your goals because you’ve already learned to regulate stress. The shame and doubt is there, but it’s not preventing you from taking action. So you will need to bolster yourself and teach yourself that you can show up as the scientist of your weight loss results, even if you feel shame, even if you feel doubt.

In the beginning of the weight journey, we need to help you heal your stress So it stops feeling so heightened and [00:15:00] inaccessible. There is a process for that, and then your work after having done that is to teach yourself to be firm with this result without being unkind, without hustling. It’s learning how to parent and caregive yourself.

It’s almost like taking your child’s temperature if they’re sick, so you can just go with this analogy. Imagine you are the caregiver of your body and no one else can do that job in adulthood for us. Right. We are the parents of ourselves. Imagine taking your child’s temperature when they’re sick. And when you see a high temperature, you make it more about your failing as a parent than showing up to the child who is sick.

So imagine you stop taking their temperature. because of that. Now, this doesn’t relate to those of you who need to regulate stress first. This is for those of you who have regulated the stress and now need to build responsibility and parenting. It’s okay if you have thoughts about your parenting skills when the child has a high temperature, but we know damn well, despite any feelings you have, [00:16:00] You’re going to keep checking in on the child, taking its temperature, so you can caregive her, meet her needs, and get her better.

So you will know if this analogy applies to you. If it doesn’t, that’s okay, but I hope You understand what I’m offering you here. Stepping on the scale is taking the temperature of a result with your body. So in the beginning, yes, it won’t feel that simple. And we can help you bring that stress down so it all feels safer.

But then you’ll be left with a decision. Do I make this about the child and the health of our body? Or do I make it about my self doubt and shame? Because of how I view my self worth as the parent. So again, take what serves with what I’m sharing here and leave what doesn’t, but I do want each of you to have all of the perspective to take from today.

And keep in mind, there is a fine line between acknowledging that stepping on a scale doesn’t serve you and seeing the scale as able to debilitate [00:17:00] you.

So my advice, if it is accessible to you, is to not treat yourself as fragile with the scale. So don’t minimize yourself in your experience of the scale ever. To acknowledge something triggers us in a non useful way does not mean we are breakable. So raise your self concept and elevate the image you have of yourself in this experience.

Yes, you have a nervous system. Yes. It’s important that you learn to work with it rather than against it. But this is a strategy. This is not because you are weak. You can’t handle things. You’re less than, or you’re fragile. I think we, especially as women, need to reframe the way we view healing. If we need healing in some area, it It doesn’t mean that we’re fragile or we’re going to fall to pieces.

That’s treating ourselves with a lack of respect and like something is wrong with us. No, we’re going to practice parenting and caregiving ourselves in a kind but firm way. And this means ultimate respect for yourself and what you need at the time. [00:18:00] It means you can start from exactly where you are. Take that path of least resistance and acknowledge what feels tough.

So the questions to consider for yourself now, again, are where is your growth right now? And what is the path of least resistance to moving through that growth? Is it using the scale or not using the scale?

I hope this episode was helpful today. I hope you took a piece away from it that is valuable for where you’re at now. And

I so appreciate you being here always. All right. I’ll talk to you next week.