Welcome back my friends to the Healthy Eating for Busy Women podcast. I’m so happy you’re able to take some time out of your day to learn some things about healthy eating and how you can make it easier and more accessible in your day to day life. So for those of you who are new here, my name is Kat.I have spent the past seven to 10 years coaching women to eat healthy more naturally and lose weight permanently. My focus is helping us do this […0.5s] and achieve the results we want without hustle and doing it in the way that nature intended by cooperating with our body, lowering cravings long term and just helping all of this feel more accessible.So I’m excited to talk about today’s topic, which is eating healthy when you’re exhausted. I know this is something that so many of you will relate to and I think that it’s really important we discuss […0.5s] how to solve for exhaustion and healthy eating from the root.I think there’s a lot of surface level tactics we could use to address this that are being offered to us. And so I’m gonna talk about that and then I’m really gonna get into today how I help my clients solve for not just eating healthy when you’re exhausted, but exhaustion long term.So whether it’s the end of your long day, you are traveling, you’re just in a really busy season. This is going to help you. So what I would love to have us do is just paint this picture.So I want you to imagine that you’ve had a long day, you’ve been traveling, whatever the circumstances, and you are just mentally spent so you have a moment to rest.Maybe you sit down after a long day, you finally get home or the kids have gone to bed and the cravings kick in, they feel really obvious and […0.5s] you have those urges for comfort.So you know what to do. The healthy eating decisions you want to make for the goals you have, but in this moment your brain does not care, right? Your brain just doesn’t care. All at once is relief from the build up in the stress that has been happening for the past day or the past two weeks or months, whatever it is.And this is where rightfully so […0.5s] eating will feel like the only thing that will work for you in that moment. Not because you’re hungry, but because you’re exhausted.And we can be honest here and know that food has always been the easiest way to take that edge off of a long day or a long trip or whatever it is. And I want you to know that the problem isn’t necessarily that […0.6s] you’re tired.Being tired is okay. The problem is that as a culture and habitually we are solving for that exhaustion […0.5s] with food because our brain doesn’t yet trust any other option. It depends on the comfort from food to bring down that stress. So this is what we’re going to make clear today where this is happening, why this is happening, and what we’re going to do to solve for long term. And I wanna talk about what to do when you’re in that moment.So when you’re in that moment that you’re just running on empty, you feel mentally exhausted and what to do to be someone who still eats very intentionally because having coached hundreds of women through this process from really struggling with food to becoming stable, naturally healthy eaters, I want you to know that the goal is never perfection.Okay, so that’s not what we’re saying here that aim for solving for healthy eating is never to do it right 100% of the time. The goal is actually to build the skill of parenting yourself through exhaustion without powering through it or abandoning yourself in the process.So to better explain this, I want to talk about two levels to addressing this problem. So one is what most of us have done, which is the surface level […0.5s] solutions, right?So this is where we can strategize what can help us get through periods of tiredness or exhaustion, like moments where we’re taking care of the kids after work hours or maybe we have a long car ride with travelling.What would allow us to feel satisfied during moments where we’ll be tired without overdoing it. So some of us might reach for some snacks or have some soda or chewing gum, anything that can engage our brain and allow us to feel that comfort without binge eating.But I want you to know that this alone isn’t enough because what a lot of us will do to solve for periods of exhaustion with healthy eating is […0.5s] put snacks on hands that can stimulate us throughout the day.We will have a meal ready when we come home from work, but this will solve the problem for a short period of time because the root level shift, which is the deeper level is the emotional fatigue that is happening day to day.So it’s the unprocessed stress, uncertainty, overwhelmed that you’re carrying with you throughout your day to day work, family life balance throughout your trips and traveling.This emotional fatigue is something that needs to be solved for as well, or you’re going to have to keep walking on eggshells with your eating habits and weight loss goals […0.5s] when it comes to periods of exhaustion.So when your brain is exhausted and you feel that emotional exhaustion, your brain is gonna wanna solve for the emotional state, not the hunger that is going to take priority. And this is where we will need to step in as the parent to that childlike part of our brain.And I wanna break this down kind of using that parent child analogy of our brain.So if you have listened to this podcast or you are my client, you’re in my membership, you have heard me talk about this before where there is this very problem solving part of our prank part of our brain that is more mature […0.6s] and it can act as our parent and then there’s that more primitive reactive side of our brain that represents that child.So the child part of our brain that’s very reactive is the one who is tired, stress, overwhelmed, and she just wants to feel better.Now I want us all to think back to when we were toddlers or when we witness toddlers and them being tired is an emergency. It is a problem to solve for as quickly as possible.There’s kicking, screaming, crying. We do not necessarily lose this part of our brain. We just develop a mature side of our brain who can now address it for ourselves. We no longer need a parent.So let’s consider that child part of our brain who has big issues with being tired, exhausted, and stressed.The goal of that child is to immediately feel better because the child part of our brain doesn’t necessarily know how to regulate exhaustion. All she knows is that it’s uncomfortable and that’s a problem. So that’s the part of our brain that says, I just need to eat something. I’ve had a long day.I’ll focus on this right now. I’ll start again tomorrow. This always works. Make sense, right? When we think about what the child is prioritizing, we wouldn’t judge an infant or a toddler or a child for reacting to discomfort in that way.So we don’t need to judge the child part of our brain for reacting that way either. Right now, here’s the part that we need to access. When it comes to exhaustion, we’ve gotta begin making […0.5s] the decision to step into the parent side because we always have access to it.We always have this there. And I want you to notice the side of you that can stay grounded and responsible when the child part of us is having issues with being tired. So we’re not being militant about it and being harsh and shaming towards that child, and we’re also not letting that child exist in that state of suffering.Were coming in and putting ground underneath the feet of the child and letting it know it’s safe. So the parent wouldn’t say, you’re not allowed to eat that right now because you shouldn’t and it’s bad, but she also doesn’t say, I agree, you’ve had a long day and poor baby, you’re just so exhausted.The parent part of us can say, I see you. I know you’re tired. I know this is hard, but I’ve got you and here’s what we’re going to do. So the parent knows that the solution isn’t to bulldoze through emotional exhaustion. It’s knowing how to hold space for it and take care of it. So the difference is learning how to emotionally care give when we feel tired and exhausted, not emotionally avoid by covering up those emotions with food. And this is just a skill any of us can learn.It’s not a light switch. It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. If we are emotionally avoiding, it’s okay. We’re all gonna do this. We’re all gonna find ourselves doing this. We just wanna start practicing the skill of emotional caregiving.So I’m gonna give you guys a really quick personal example. Some of you will have heard me say this. My toddler child brain still has very big issues with being tired. So the difference is I just expect it. And I don’t judge that part of my brain for having that reaction.Of course she does. It’s the child primitive side. So what the child side always says when I’m tired is I just can’t do this right now. That is genuinely what the child always believes. And I am not shaming myself for that part of my brain and saying, you’re not committed, you’re not focused, you’re not mature. That’s not how I address it.And I also don’t cuddle it and say, oh, poor baby, you’ve been working so hard, you’re just so exhausted.I parent it and I say, here’s what I can do, here’s what’s gonna happen, and here’s what’s in my capacity. And I take one step at a time day by day when I feel tired, this is what prevents my tiredness from going into exhaustion so much of the time.Why we are constantly exhausted is because we are not parenting tiredness when it comes up naturally and then solving for it there.We are either being militant with ourselves and shaming ourselves to push, or we are coddling ourselves and going too easy on in ourselves in the sense that it doesn’t feel stable. I want us to begin solving for emotional eating at the root by caregiving emotionally rather than avoiding or coddling.So […0.6s] here’s what I wanna offer that we start doing when exhaustion hits and you feel that urge to comforty out of habit, so maybe this is one, so maybe this is when you come home from work for a day, you’ve come home from a long trip, you’re tired, whatever it is, first, I want you to not rush to fix anything.So instead of thinking, what can I do so I make sure I don’t overeat? I want you to instead, before you address food, to address the root which is your emotional state […0.5s] as the parent, just ask that child part, […0.6s] what are you feeling right now? Because you’re not fixing the food craving, really. You’re meeting the emotion where it’s at so you can address it properly without it spiraling into comfort eating.So ask that child part of yourself, what is this part of me feeling right now? What’s coming up?I know that part of me when I feel tired, that things I just can’t right now. If I actually addressed that part […0.5s] and said, what’s really going on […0.5s] to that child side of my brain, it would say, I just feel like I have so much to do today and I’m overwhelmed.Perfect. Now we’re getting somewhere. No. 2, what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna let the child speak and then parent her accordingly. So maybe the child in the moment is saying, I just need something to eat right now. I can’t handle this. I just want relief. Or in the case of my brain, I just can’t handle this right now.So when I say, how are you feeling? She says, I just feel overwhelmed because there’s a lot to do today.How do we respond as the parent now having this information? So we’re not gonna say, oh, you’re right, there’s so much to do and everything’s out of control. And we’re also not gonna say, you just need to get it together.Maybe we just say, it makes sense that you feel that way. Of course you’re tired, […0.6s] but I’m here now. We’re here together. And we don’t need to abandon our goals to make ourselves feel better. Instead, let’s do this instead. Let’s go to the bathroom, take a shower, make sure we get to bed on time, make sure we eat, right?What are all of the other options to care for ourselves when we need comfort, […0.5s] rather than relenting to the easiest option that doesn’t require us to parent ourselves, so let the child speak and then parent her accordingly.Third, and related, I want you to validate any tiredness or exhaustion without defaulting to food.So here’s what this may sound like. It may sound like it’s okay to be tired. Nothing has gone wrong, it’s safe. We’re gonna make sure we get some rest, we’re gonna make sure that we sit down and have a meal.But emotionally, eating isn’t the only way to sue this feeling right now. We don’t need to over consume or regret our choices in order to feel better and exhale for a moment. When you validate your exhaustion rather than push against it or cuddle it, your nervous system is gonna calm down.I want you to notice how the urgency to overeat goes down when you parent yourself properly in your mind, before you even think about external planning or actions, that is when deliberate eating choices will become available to you again. Because lastly, I want you to strategize for safety, not control.So for example, if you come home from a trip or you’ve been parenting the kids and you’re totally exhausted, before you consider a food plan or a calorie count or […0.5s] things that you want to control and perfect, which there’s nothing wrong with that, I first want you to strategize for feeling emotionally safe from answering the question, what do I really need right now?Maybe the thought is I just need a break, maybe it’s I just need to be alone, maybe it’s I just need a moment where I’m not doing something.But meet that need first before you consider controlling the actions for the goal. Does that make sense? So for example, I had a client who […0.6s] was traveling and she said she would be doing a lot of driving recently.And so we were discussing how to engage with that lengthy trip and not sacrifice her weight loss goals. Because previously and understandably throughout that trip, she would eat in order to keep herself awake while she was driving.And what we would do from control is maybe use a little bit of willpower or some other strategy to get her through this trip and say, you’re not gonna snack, you’re going to make sure to hydrate yourself, eat healthy foods, maybe pack some vegetables.And this might not align with what she really wants to do. It looks good on paper. So instead, as the parent to her, what would we decide? Maybe we would decide to listen to a podcast that she’s interested in to engage her brain during that time.Maybe get an iced drink that she really likes during that trip to look forward to. Maybe it is still to have the sunflower seed, she’s just going to be more deliberate with enjoying them as she goes. Maybe she pulls over and rest if she needs and prioritizes that time.But the key to remember is you are the one making the call of how you parent yourself in these situations when you’re gonna be tired and exhausted.So what type of parent does that child part of you genuinely want? What I can tell you is, of course, she doesn’t want that harsh drill sergeant part of us that just demands perfection and follow through.But she also doesn’t want you to cuddle her. She doesn’t want you to not give her some structure. She wants deliberate decisions to be made that are best for her health.And so what type of parent is she looking for? Likely it’s going to be providing stable […0.5s] actions and decisions without demanding perfection or expectations to perform a certain way. Does this make sense?So for example, let’s say you come home after a long day and you’re sitting on the couch and your brain immediately says, I’m so exhausted, this was such a long day, let’s just eat something.Doordash our favorite foods or snack instead of jumping into that behavior that the child is suggesting. And of course she is say, what’s really coming up right now? How are we feeling? What am I really needing? Do I want some food? Do I want rest? Do I want some comfort release?Have that conversation with her and after that, and and if food still feel supportive after that, then but have it from that decision making because then it’s not the child reacting from a default behavior. It’s you actually asking the questions and then getting the answers. Does this make sense?Really what we’re solving for here today is […0.6s] teaching yourself that feeling exhausted doesn’t mean you lose control with food. It doesn’t mean you feel helpless or out of control or like that child part of yourself.I want you to begin parenting yourself in these moments. So, when you feel exhausted, you feel safe, stable and that you will make deliberate decisions in partnership with that child.I want you to build trust that just because you are partnering with the child doesn’t mean you’re going to not hit your goals and make decisions that support that all the child is doing. When we emotionally eat is it’s asking for care and we’re not parenting yet.That’s it. So your job isn’t to be perfect. It’s just to show up as the parent when moments of exhaustion occur. You are not here to necessarily control your cravings. That’s not the point. You’re here to lead yourself through cravings with care. That is the only thing that’s been missing, my friends.So I hope this episode gave you a new perspective on healthy eating and exhaustion. Because here’s the thing, you guys, every single one of my clients, every person who has become a naturally healthy eater where they are able to move through the world in that way and have the results they want with ease does this. They parent themselves stablely and properly, but it’s not in a way that you would think they don’t have to be perfect or harsh on themselves. And they also don’t just stop making decisions and cuddle themselves. It’s just parenting. And so I highly recommend to consider this for yourself. And if you want a full process and coaching to begin doing this now, make sure you look into my membership. Own your eating habits. It will help you. You can start today for$79. It will give you everything you need. So go to cat run test com forward slash membership. If that sounds like a good fit and you want to learn more.Alright, my friends, I love you so much. I hope you have a fantastic rest of your week, and I’ll talk to you next week.