Hello, my friends, welcome back to the Healthy Eating for Busy Women podcast. I’m so happy you’re here. I’m happy we’re spending this time together. And if you’re new here, […0.6s] my name is Kat and I am so happy you found this space.It is my mission to help healthy eating, weight loss, any health goal that you are aiming for feel easier for you and more accessible. I’m really focused on […0.5s] helping us get out of this all or nothing cycle of just picking up our healthy habits and putting them back down. So that’s what I’m all about, and I’m happy you’re here.So today […0.6s] it might be, a little bit of a jarring episode to start with, cause we’re talking about the fear of failing […0.5s] weight loss, which I think this is a very fun topic.But here’s what I want you guys to know. This episode today is gonna be a kick a very sharp kick in the booty, but it’s gonna serve you so well. It’s gonna remove so much time, so much confusion from […0.5s] why you do not have the weight loss you want right now. And I’m hoping that all of you are open to receiving what I’m gonna say today.I think that sometimes, more pointed episodes, which I’m very much about, I do not sugarcoat, […0.6s] can bring up some tenderness or defensiveness.And I want you guys to know that something I always make a practice of doing is if I notice I feel defensive or, I’m resisting something someone is saying, I always make it a practice to lean in. And here’s what I mean by that.Anytime something rubs up against, my thinking where I feel immediately defensive, the first thought I go to immediately, cause I know how my brain works is I say, if I wanted to agree with what they were saying, what would that look like right now?And I obviously steward this very well. I know my values, and I know when I wanna agree with something and when I don’t. But sometimes this can allow you to receive information really well.And that’s what I want you to do with this episode today, cause we’re gonna talk about […0.6s] our relationship to failure, but specifically really key ways where your relationship to failure is what has kept you stuck. And I want you to be willing to take full responsibility for that.Those of you who are listeners here know I am never speaking above y’all. I am speaking right next to you.I have been exactly where you are, so there is never any judgment or shame in this space. And I think the big thing I wanna start with today is […0.5s] trying not to fail […0.6s] with weight loss or healthy eating is what’s gonna keep you in failure. Okay, so trying to avoid failure is what’s gonna keep you […0.4s] not having the results you want, which is the ultimate failure. And really what’s interesting, right is, those of y’all who don’t have the results you want, I’ve been here too, are already, quote unquote, failing cause you don’t have the results you want.But the reason why the ultimate failures happening right now is you’re not willing to participate with the micro failures that create results. And it’s the best news and the worst news, right. I am telling you that there is no choice other than to fail in some capacity.Whether you don’t have the result, or you’re working towards the result in your life, failure is always the thing, and so we really wanna unpack what’s our relationship to this concept, where am I keeping myself stuck, what relationship is gonna be necessary for me to embody this healthy persona that I want to have.So we’re gonna go through three key shifts today that you’re gonna have to make, and I want you guys to lovingly call yourself out today. Do not be afraid, this is not from shame.I want you to feel relief as you notice where you’ve been keeping yourself stuck. So here’s the biggest […0.5s] the shift number one that I want you guys to think about. You might be avoiding failure because you have an unnecessarily sad story about […0.6s] your past.So you might have a really sad story about your past with healthy eating, weight loss, dieting. And that’s why failure, you’re avoiding it. That’s why you’re not participating in it, right. And this is where you might be special snowflakeing yourself a little bit.I did this for so […0.5s] long, and […0.6s] what if it’s not that you have failed in this dramatic way in your past that you have convinced yourself of, right?What if actually was going wrong is you had normal expected moments of failure, and then you just created really sad stories about those moments that then festered over time right until you eventually now see yourself in this area as helpless, sad, hopeless. Because we have stoked the fire of the sad stories.We originally wrote about failures that were totally normal. Because here’s the truth, you guys, no matter what results you have with your weight, your body, I don’t care what you’ve tried, nothing about it is sad. Okay, and I wanna say that so boldly and powerfully, together right now. Really hold space for this.Nothing about your past with your weight loss, with your health is sad. Nothing about it deserves pity. And I’m gonna say something here. And I want you to know it’s because of how much I love you, and how much I respect you.I don’t feel bad for you. I don’t feel sorry for you, but this is because […0.6s] I respect you. And I know what you’re capable of. And I’ll give you guys, this perspective too.I really […0.4s] indulgence so much self pity. I had the saddest story […0.4s] about my lack of confidence in my body, just how long I really struggled whatever it is, we’re all gonna have that option.And here’s the thing, everyone in your life, maybe people who love you will agree with you, and wanna cuddle you, and say they’re there.It’s okay from the best intentions, but I want you guys to notice how much shelf less self respect you have, right, […0.7s] when you have the story about yourself. And I’ve never felt less respect for myself than when I kept and held on to desperately this sad story that kept me safe.I want you to know that as your coach, I have so much respect for you. And I know you are not a sad story. And I want you to be brave and have the courage to give up that story for yourself now.And I no longer want you to trick yourself or let your brain trick you into believing that you were or ever could be a sad story when it comes to losing weight.Hell no, absolutely not. You are powerful, you are capable, you are ready to do this. And it’s not that any failures you’ve had or bad or sad or wrong.It’s the fact that you ever believed that they were a sad story that kept you stuck. Your sad story about your past failures gave you justification to stay where you are, to think of yourself as weak minded. And it gave you an excuse to not claim the weight loss that you’re capable of, right?Or whatever that health result is, you’re eating habits and what’s gonna happen to you. That’s crazy. I really went through this when we’re in this sad story, we’re gonna grade ourselves on a lower curve because we […0.6s] are fragile in our own mind, […0.4s] right? We treat ourselves really delicately.So we’re gonna go way too easy on ourselves and give ourselves a pass […0.4s] every single time. And the worst part is it will keep you from ever losing weight long term or being your healthiest self because to do that result, you’re gonna need to fail. You’re gonna have to go through trial and error.And I, whether it’s obvious or not, I do not teach gimmicks or perfection plans. I teach lasting skill building with your eating habits, with weight loss. There’s nothing else I’m gonna teach. And the things I teach my clients are permanent.They are lifelong skills because the changes are internal and these types of changes, y’all only happen from failure. And I want you to get really open and good at failing.This is something I say to my clients all the time. I want you to get skilled at failure. I don’t want you to avoid it. So if you’re not participating in foundational work to heal and make changes right now, it’s probably because […0.6s] deep down, failure is gonna be required.You’re smart and […0.6s] you have to fail, right? And participate in trial and error.So let’s evaluate right now, why haven’t you done it, […0.7s] right? Why hasn’t that happened yet? I’m guessing it’s probably because your relationship to necessary failure is that you are a sad story if it happens, and this is all that you gotta stop doing. You’ve gotta stop holding yourself in a low regard.When you fail, your brain’s gonna offer you the first sentence of that book, right? It’s gonna say, well, this means you’re less capable when you fail, stop finishing the book, stop writing the whole story.That’s what’s going wrong. It’s not that your brain offered you the first sentence […0.5s] of the story. It’s that you’ve held on to this story and have kept writing it with every failure that you’ve had. And I’m just asking you to put down the pen, […0.6s] Failing is one of the most high level, high regard things anyone can possibly do, […0.4s] ever it means you’re taking action.The most successful people at anything have a really close relationship to failure. And the people you are the opposite of who you want to be in this area of your life without the body you want, without the […0.5s] results you want, they’re not failing at all cause they’re not taking action. They’re avoiding failure.And I don’t say this to shame anyone who’s not taking action, right? I’ve been that person for many years, but I want it to really sink in for you that the person who you want to be has failed a ton, and they are still failing a ton. That’s what I want you to realize. […0.6s] So that was just shift one, y’all.We’ve gotta get to shift two and three, so let’s just move right along. So shift 2 […0.6s] is that […0.5s] you also might be avoiding failure, cause you’re waiting for something you think you’re owed.So you’re indulging entitlement and victimhood, and you think that you’re owed something, you’re waiting for someone or something to come around and just, give it to you.We can all have this energy. It’s very sneaky, and it’s because you really believe because you failed in the past, that you are now owed something, that you deserve a different result, that you should have a different result, that there’s a reason outside of you why you don’t have the results you want yet with your body, […0.5s] so you engage in the, sort of […0.4s] self righteous rebellion, […0.6s] right, I had this for so long, this self righteous rebellion, and it’s keeping you miserable and stuck, because again you really do believe your ode.This is a belief system that I want us to notice when we’re having it. So maybe you think you’re owed by the health industry, maybe your family, how you were raised, doctors, culture coaches, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.It’s not about what you’ve tried. It’s the fact that you’re thinking this way and when you think you’re owed you guys for all of us, what What does it look like when someone thinks they’re owed?Really, we just wait to receive […0.5s] is what we do, that is the behavior, we just wait around to receive something. We don’t create, we don’t provide input into the results we want. We don’t take action or responsibility.And the worst part is you will think that your past failures mean you should feel sorry for yourself, or that you weren’t entitled, or that you are entitled to results without having to fail. And here’s the thing, I’m hoping this kicks you into gear right now, because […0.4s] I’m so serious.I don’t say this to put us into hustle. I say it because it’s true. The clock is ticking, you guys, for all of us, it is a short life, and we want to get the most out of it.We do not have time for y’all to wait […0.4s] to receive […0.7s] to create the body or health that you want […0.4s] from outside. We don’t have time for you to wait to receive the body or the health that you want from outside of you.We don’t have time for that, haha. We need you to take action and create it, because there is a beautiful experience of life that is waiting for you on the other side of this.And I overcame all of these things, y’all, the only reason why I can call you guys out on your mental blocks is cause I had […0.5s] all of them.So […0.4s] takes one to know one. And I want you to really think about that, so here’s the last shift I want you guys to be really aware of when it comes to […0.5s] fearing failure. […0.6s] Now I wanna tell you a story that I recently read in a book by David Goggins.I think it’s his second book, so if y’all haven’t heard of them, this is a really in your face man. He uses a lot of curse words, but I love it, cause he’s this ex Navy seal who is just so upfront about his hard past, and really how he kept himself stuck in his own mindset.So highly recommend any of his books, but there are a lot of curse words in there, haha, so just prepare.Now […0.6s] there’s this analogy he shared about a skydiver, and I loved it. So he said, imagine a skydiver who become so fixated on their parachute being tangled in the free fall, so their parachutes all tangled as they’re doing the free fall. And they’re so fixated that they have a backup parachute ready to go.So by the time they cut the first shoot away and try the next one, it’s too late.And I know this is a very harrowing and dark analogy, right? But it’s powerful because here’s the biggest point of the story that David Goggins talks about. He says the biggest problem in this scenario is that this person has become too […0.4s] terrified of pulling that second cord.Because if the second cord also doesn’t work, then they’ll really be helpless. And I’m gonna talk about this in our language together here. So many of you are so afraid of taking action on your weight loss and giving this your all […0.7s] with a process that might actually make sense to you.Because you’re terrified that if that also doesn’t work, then you’re really left with no options, then you’re really a failure, then you’ve really proven this dark truth about yourself that you’re worthless. Haha, alright, that you’re actually gonna plummet to the Earth surface.But in this example, the ironic part […0.5s] is that the fear of confirming ultimate failure, the second shoot not working causes this […0.4s] parachuter or whatever he’s called to solidify his failure of hitting the ground because the fear made him not even check the second. He wouldn’t even pull it.And so many of you are treating failure like this is the scenario you are in. You are treating it like, I almost said parachuter again, a skydiver, […0.6s] right? And the stakes are not this high, but that is mentally where we are at. These same shifts apply to you, right?I want you to consider […0.6s] where are you treating failure as if it is something that you have to avoid at all costs.And you’re at the point where you’re willing to sacrifice your life and these results and your health because you’re so afraid to pull that back up shoot to see what’s there if it doesn’t work out.What I want you guys to know is there is no version of you trying anything where you fail and then there’s no other chance for you. That is a fantasy. That is not true. You can never […0.4s] fail with a period at the end. Failure is only ever a lesson. It is only ever data to get you to your next point.Why you do not have the results you want is because of your high stakes relationship to failure, or you’re making it personal. You’re going to self pity. You’re treating it like you’re gonna pull a second shoot in a parachute, and it’s not gonna work, and you’re gonna plummet to your death.This is so graphic, […0.4s] but […0.5s] the stakes of failure are so low. It is a lesson, and, you’re gonna have to process some human things cause we all do. But failure is safe. It’s necessary, and it is the currency to the results you want. That is what I want you to know.So I really would love so much if you made a decision right now with me to yourself with a period at the end. What are you gonna decide to do now to stop indulging your fear of failure?[…0.6s] What is that gonna be? I want you to declare it, […0.5s] because you don’t have time to waste. I say this because I’m so serious, right? You have a life to live without being in a body that you don’t want, without feeling tied to food all the time. You need this relief […0.6s] desperately.So how will you unchain yourself to the fear of failing weight loss […0.5s] right now? Your health and your happiness is worth so much, and it is worth you having the courage to fail for as cheesy as that sounds, it is 100% true.So really think about this, and for those of you who are hearing this, and you’re like, let’s go, and you’re really in it. If you’re ready to break and sever this chain, get inside on your eating habits, get inside that membership community.There is no community like it, just because the energy that I am sharing with y’all here. That is the energy we are in together. And in that process, you guys, we are women who are healing generations of food and weight struggle. So come inside, […0.5s] get that relief, devote yourself to healing.And I promise you, my friend, you’re gonna be a completely different woman a year from now. I can tell you that […0.4s] Lincoln show notes if you wanna join us in that program, or go to cat renters dot com forward slash membership. Join our community, and I can’t wait to support you.But […0.5s] I’m so proud of y’all for wherever you are at this week, wherever you’re at is the best starting point.Your past is the past. Don’t write a sad story about it. And know you are as capable as you’re willing to be, and as much as you’re willing to fail. Love you so much. I’ll talk to you next week.