Hello my friends. How are you doing today? Welcome back to the healthy eating for busy women podcast. I am your host, kat. And today we’re gonna talk about good old fashioned hard work. And i know most of you listening will not be, too far removed from the concept of hard work.You know, how to work hard, accomplish things you wanna do, perhaps in your career or your personal life, or maybe you have experienced hard work where it felt good, but then now you feel like you’re in a slump and you can’t really get back to […0.4s] that work ethic that you once had, whether that’s in your personal life or whether that is with weight loss, which we’re gonna also talk about today.And what i want to get at today is how you can get in that […0.5s] work hard mentality where it feels really good, satisfying, you feel accomplished, but you can work hard without burning out in your health journey. So we’re gonna distinguish exactly why you might feel burnt out right now.And you don’t have a capacity to work hard anymore in this area of your life, and how exactly to get to that place where you can feel really good working hard towards a goal, and you can rest your head on the pillow at night knowing that you did […0.4s] everything you could in order to accomplish a goal.And, everything we talked about on this podcast, or if you’re my client, you’ll know this food is a, our relationship to food and weight loss is a window into the rest of our life, right.So how we are approaching healthy eating and weight loss is often times how we’re approaching other areas as well. So if we have attempted to work hard […0.5s] with healthier eating, changing our eating habits, losing weight, and we’ve burnt out, then chances are this is happening in other areas as well.So i say this not because it imposes, […0.6s] not because it implies there’s a deeper problem. It actually is great because when you solve for one area in your mindset, then it’s gonna trickle into all other areas as well. So that is my hope for our topic today. So let’s talk about just the concept of hard […0.6s] work.I’m not referring to hustle and burnout, which will distinguish what that is. What i’m referring to is, you guys know, when you really have a productive day, you work hard, and it feels so good, and you feel satisfied, and you almost feel like you’re, quote unquote, in flow, and you end up doing exactly what you said you were gonna do, and it just feels great. So this is always the goal, […0.5s] right?But here’s what happens sometimes when you don’t know how to work hard well, and instead you work hard in a way that’s not useful, you end up burning yourself out. And then what happens is you develop a relationship to hard work that implies burnout is necessary to work hard.It’s necessary to exhaust yourself. It’s necessary to deplete your emotional energy, and that’s what hard work and discipline is. And this is happening for so many accomplished successful women. And it’s a total identity, mix up, right.Because you see yourself as this successful person who has a high regard for your work ethic. But then you find you’re having trouble being as productive and working as hard as you want.Because what happens is when you have a moment where you burn out from the effort you’re putting in towards something, you equate putting in any effort at all and working hard […0.6s] with total depletion. And this is something that is not just gonna be a mindset issue.It’s gonna be a nervous system issue where your brain and body are gonna step in and prevent you from showing up to hard work at all.And this isn’t as awful as it sounds, but i want you to validate yourself if you have standards for how you wanna show up with weight loss, healthy eating, other areas, and you’re finding it difficult to show up because you’re afraid that you’ll work yourself into the ground and burn out. And so […0.6s] how it normally shows up in my process of coaching. I have my membership on your eating habits and women come in and they begin the process towards naturally healthy eating and permanent weight loss. That’s what we do there. And so what happens is i tend to attract all types of women, but something we tend to have in common, we love to learn, we’re very analytical. We have this high regard for ourselves and how we wanna show up.So a lot of my ladies show up really pumped and ready and ambitious about the results they wanna create. And sometimes how this looks, it’s a little bit […0.4s] starting the process, guns blazing with a tunnel vision towards the goal, which is okay.But then what tends to happen is when we’re just laser focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and the weight loss goal that we wanna have. Then we don’t really pay attention to how we’re […0.4s] expanding our effort to get there.And this can lead to what i’m gonna call today, respond […0.5s] irresponsible hard work. So this is a term that we’re just making up here, but i really wanted to stinglet i really want to distinguish the difference between irresponsible hard work and responsible hard work.And here’s what irresponsible hard work is. So it’s where you are again, working hard, […0.5s] not accepting your excuses. You’re taking action, you’re staying focused on what’s necessary to achieve a goal.But the difference with irresponsible hard work is that you’re doing all these things without meeting your basic needs. Irresponsible hard work is you working hard without meeting your basic needs.So here’s what basic needs are. It’s not very exciting, it’s very boring things like getting enough sleep. Eating when you’re hungry, going to the bathroom, […0.6s] making sure you drink water when you’re thirsty, tank taking mental rest breaks when you feel like you need it.Very basic things that aren’t very dramatic. It’s just meeting these needs when they come up for you as a human.With a human brain, body and systems that tell you when it’s having a need now, here’s what’s gonna happen, you guys, because a lot of the times, we live in this culture that doesn’t teach us how to listen to the needs of our body, right? We, live […0.5s] outside of that.We disembody a lot of the time, and most of us are just trying to get […0.4s] done a checklist without ever understanding that […0.5s] to complete that checklist, we’ve got to work with our body, so we can sustainably get things done.And what’s happening is when you don’t meet your basic human needs over time, […0.6s] you are going to burn out. Your body is essentially gonna say, hey, i’m not gonna keep supplying you with focus with energy, with effort anymore.If you are not doing the basics that i need to function, and here’s what’s gonna happen. When you burn out because you didn’t meet your basic needs, you are going to build a mental anticipation, fear and resistance to working hard.And this is happening a lot for you guys right now. You’re really burnt out, and you feel like you don’t wanna put in a lot of effort anymore towards healthy eating and weight loss. And you think the answer is that you just need to push and work hard.No, your version of working hard is irresponsible hard work. And that means you think the answer is just to push through. The answer isn’t just to push, it’s to move step by step towards a goal while meeting your human needs along the way. So it is sustainable.But, so let’s go back to when you now feel resistance, right, you burn out now, you have resistance to working hard now. This is where you will start to procrastinate, so you will start to procrastinate tasks.You’re gonna avoid the work necessary to accomplish a goal, and here’s the big thing about this, you guys, no matter how intelligent successful or ambitious of a woman you are, here’s where you will start to baby yourself a little bit, or you’re just gonna be really hard on yourself, right.You’re going to hold yourself in a low regard, and you are going to indulge your excuses for not accomplishing the goal from a pity place. This is really easy for us to do when we’re not meeting our basic needs.Cause pity’s gonna sound like, i just can’t right now. I can’t follow through, i can’t. And it’s really easy to do that when you’re not meeting your basic needs, and you’re burnt out, right.So let’s have your back here, and it’s a recurring cycle where you’re gonna pick up hard work and actions to lose weight, eat healthier, and then you’re gonna put them back down just because all of us have never been taught how to work hard responsibly towards a goal.So irresponsible hard work, we have an eye on that. Here’s what responsible hard work is, it’s very basic, it’s working hard work again. You’re not accepting your excuses, you’re taking action, you’re staying focused, but what’s the difference?Responsible hard work means you just meet your basic needs, and i know this sounds really boring, this might not sound revolutionary, but it wasn’t meant to you guys.That is the point is for us to see here how we have normalized […0.6s] an experience of life where we move towards our goals without meeting these basic needs as if that’s even sustainably possible. Crazy, but we’re not crazy, it’s just what is normalized today.So when you are working hard responsibly, you’re meeting your basic needs, you are very clear on what your basic needs are.You are a responsible parent to yourself, or doesn’t mean you parent yourself perfectly were human, but it means you do not have any confusion, or you’re not freely about what you need to function. If you need a certain amount of sleep, you are clear with yourself on that.If you need a certain amount of food to feel satiated, you are clear about that, right? Bathroom breaks, whatever it is. You […0.5s] approach yourself as you would approach a child in your care. You don’t indulge any excuses that say, well, i don’t have enough time. I don’t know. You don’t do that.You say, here’s what i need, here’s how i’m gonna create it, and here’s how i’m gonna maintain meeting my basic needs.And another thing that allows us to work hard responsibly, you guys, this is a skill you’re not gonna get it overnight, is you’re gonna be really clear on the pity part of your brain that says, […0.6s] no, we can’t handle this, and this is too much versus saying, oh, it’s time for me to base, it’s time for me to meet a basic need right now. That’s not an emergency.So let me explain what i mean by this. When you are working hard responsibly and meeting your basic needs throughout your health journey and throughout hard work, it’s gonna be a lot easier for you to parent this pity brain.Because when you’re feeding yourself, when you’re taking your bathroom and mental breaks, when you are getting enough sleep, and your brain says, oh, i don’t know if i can handle that and it offers you pity, it’s gonna be a lot easier to say, no, i’m fine, i’ve got this because, it’s true, that you have rest planned, that you have gotten enough sleep, all of these things, and so when you don’t have an experience of moving towards a goal that’s push, neglect. It’s gonna be a lot easier to parent yourself and not indulge in pity.And a lot of you guys are trying to not indulge in your own negative thoughts and your pity from a place where you’re not caring for yourself in your basic needs.So it’s gonna be really easy to fall down that pity spiral, right. And it’s really interesting because meeting your basic needs, i want you guys to know this. It’s never gonna feel like an emergency or something you just gotta do, and it’s never gonna feel […0.4s] urgent.And how funny is this, your basic needs that your body needs. It’s never gonna feel urgent, and this is by design. What we learn in my membership is body cues like hunger, fullness, satisfaction. It’s a tap on the shoulder, it doesn’t matter how high or low the body q is.It’s a tap on the shoulder compared to emotional urgency. So an emotional childish urge says, i can’t handle this right now. I just need […0.6s] xyz. I can’t do this, right? That is pity […0.7s] you meeting your basic needs is gonna feel more neutral and that’s what i want you to expect.So really it’s learning the difference between proper parenting and pity, right? And this is something that i’m never gonna get perfect. Neither are you. But we can have the results we want with our health by continuing to be a student of this skill. Cause here’s the difference between what proper parenting says and pity says.For example, so let’s say proper parenting says, i’m gonna stop working for today so i can get enough sleep and so i can work product, productively again tomorrow. Very neutral, very strategic, right? Pity might say, i just need a break because i can’t take it anymore, i can’t handle this.Do you see the difference? One is urgent, one isn’t. And actually both take a break. It’s just how we’re positioned when we declare these things. So another example, so let’s say pity says, i can never get it right. Something is wrong with me.When we have a setback, […0.5s] proper parenting might say, if i’m being honest, i could have worked a bit harder yesterday. I could have showed up a bit more, so i’m gonna make sure i really reset and show up today.Do you see the difference? And i know these are kind of fluffy examples, right, because you’re only gonna really nail this once you start keeping an eye on it.But i just want you guys to see the gist of what i’m saying here, because what i wanna get to is that working hard can feel really good in any area of your life, but especially when you are building skills of healthy eating and weight loss.When you are showing up for yourself and your body, and you’re accomplishing these things, but it might not look like time or effort spent. It might just be a standard you hold yourself to for showing up […0.4s] to your goal.That can be great to hold yourself in high regard in a process like healthy eating and weight loss, but you need to do so responsibly as your best parent, not someone who’s gonna pressure and push your way to a result.So it’s really interesting too because i’m doing a lot of this work with myself and i’m working hard on some things that i have coming up in my membership and just really fun things that i’m excited to create. But it requires a lot of hard work, which is amazing.And what it’s requiring is, again, me to not listen to that child part of me because she’s kind of a liar sometimes.She says, i just can’t do this. I’m tired, i need a break. And here’s the thing, i am able to say no to her because i am meeting my basic needs, right? I am taking care of myself as a parent through the hard work. So i’m making sure i’m getting enough sleep, i’m managing my time properly.I’m making sure i’m feeding myself and taking breaks when i need it, and scheduling those ahead of time. Everything’s very organized. So when that child part comes up, i know i’m not really exhausted, i’m not really spent. I can still show up.I’m just having an emotional urge to procrastinate because of reasons in the brain that will always be there, […0.4s] right? So if you’re having trouble saying no to that child part of yourself, where are you not meeting your basic needs in your life?If you’re procrastinating, if you’re not working hard towards a result or weight loss, or showing up in this area that you want to transform in. Where are you not prioritizing your basic needs first?Cause a lot of y’all want to dismiss your basic needs and say, well, i just wanna accomplish this. I don’t need any of that.You gotta slow down, my love. You have to slow down, and you’re gonna do this differently now, where you’re actually gonna create a sustainable experience of really showing up for your goal. Establish how you’re gonna meet those basic needs.It’s all for that ahead of time. So then when the inevitable pity and childish part of your brain comes up, you can parent her properly with firm kindness and say, nope, we’re good here. My basic needs are met.All right, i can’t wait to see what happens when y’all start taking responsibility for this. It is a skill. It’s not gonna happen overnight, just do your best.Start gathering awareness, start to visualize what hard work without burnout will look like for you in your weight loss or health journey. And i’m so excited to see what comes up. All right, i love y’all so much, and i will talk to you soon. […0.4s][…0.4s]