I’m constantly getting messages from women who are seeking my help.
They want to eat healthier so they can get the results with their bodies that they want.
When I dive deeper in a consultation, it’s common for some women to say to me, “Oh no. I don’t have those problems. Just tell me what I need to eat”.
This is a clear indication to me that this woman is desperate for the missing puzzle piece to her food problems.
She wants someone to give her “the healthy eating how”.
Let me explain.
If you want to listen instead of read, here’s the podcast episode that goes along with this post.
It’s common for us to feel desperate for the “right way to eat” in the beginning.
We want someone to give us the hacks to eating healthy so we can lose the weight.
The truth is, we do this for very specific reasons.
Firstly, because this is the way we’re conditioned to change our results.
From adolescence we’re taught to seek the answers to our problems outside of ourselves.
As children, we’re expected to ask our parents, elders, and teachers for the right answers.
As adults, we’re expected to inquire with our professors, bosses or supervisors.
We’re not conditioned to ask ourselves for the right answers.
This isn’t a problem with many things in life, but it is a massive problem when it comes to your eating habits.
Since no one can tell you the right way to eat.
This is something you must figure out for yourself over time.
Unfortunately for us, diet culture capitalizes on our dependence on other people for the answers.
It’s always convincing us that this meal plan, cleanse, or restrictive diet will teach us the “healthy eating how”.
When in reality, all those things are distracting us from creating our own healthy eating how.
The second reason we want the healthy eating hacks, is because we don’t want to be responsible for our results.
Because every action we take in life is to feel better.
That’s all our brains ever want in our lives.
They’re constantly seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
So, when we transfer that responsibility over our eating habits to someone else, it also transfers the blame.
Meaning, we can blame someone else for our failures when we don’t eat healthy.
Giving up responsibility for our own “healthy eating how” is us attempting to avoid the negative emotions we’ll experience when we fail.
While your brain will really want to give up responsibility for your eating habits, this won’t serve you long-term.
You cannot transfer responsibility for the way you eat and see results.
It doesn’t work this way.
To change your eating habits long-term, you’ll need to take radical responsibility for your eating choices.
This can mean a couple of things.
First, start calling yourself out on the excuses your brain comes up with.
Remember, your brain always just wants to feel better.
It wants to avoid negative emotions at all costs.
Meaning, it will come up with a ton of really seemingly good reasons for you giving up responsibility for your eating habits.
Common excuses that will come up might be:
These are the excuses I see come up most frequently for my clients.
And they’re the same excuses I held onto in the past.
Because not taking responsibility for my eating choices kept me safe.
It allowed me to go around the negative emotions of changing.
Rather than growing through them.
Second, I want you to start being really intentional around your eating choices.
To take responsibility I want you to actively think, “I am choosing to eat this” before making your food choices.
No matter what you’re choosing to eat at the time.
It’s very common for us to pretend like some higher power is controlling our food urges.
And this just isn’t true.
Everything you eat can be a conscious decision that you make.
This doesn’t mean you strive for perfection with healthy eating.
It just means you have your own back when it comes to your food choices.
Doing this will inevitably cause you to take responsibility for the way you eat over time.
From here, I want you to begin actively creating your own “healthy eating how”.
Meaning, I never want you to look to outside sources to tell you what to eat.
You’re going to practice relying on your own body wisdom to change your eating habits.
And this requires paying attention, asking questions, and evaluating progress along the way.
Some questions to ask yourself are:
So, the idea here is to really get to know yourself as an eater.
Don’t underestimate this practice, because, believe me – no one is doing this.
It’s fascinating to me how few of my students and clients actually know themselves as an eater.
When you get to know yourself as an eater, you will become an expert of how you can change your eating habits for the better.
You’ll begin to gradually take different food actions while evaluating progress.
This is how you create your own “healthy eating how”.
I want you to start by creating your own “healthy eating how”.
Rather than looking to diets and weight loss programs to tell you what to eat.
Your body has everything you need right now to tell you what it needs.
Trust in your body to give you the answers over time.
Know that when starting this work, you won’t have the answers right away.
And you’re not supposed to.
You won’t know exactly what your body needs right away.
Or how much food feels best for you.
But all the answers are waiting for you when you start paying attention.
And when you commit to creating your own “healthy eating how” for yourself.
This will do so much for you.
Hey there! I'm Kat Rentas. I’m a certified eating psychology coach for women who believes that eating healthy should feel simple and sustainable. I teach hundreds of high-performing women to change their eating habits without the overwhelm. Want to change your eating habits in a way that is aligned with your needs, preferences, and goals? You’re in the right place. You can read my full story here.