Do you ever catch yourself in a thought spiral about what other people are thinking about you?
If so, you’re not alone.
As much as my pride tries to convince me otherwise, I know deep down I care about other people’s opinions.
This is natural. We want to feel accepted and appreciated by our peers.
However, this becomes a problem when it prevents us from achieving the best versions of ourselves.
Caring about the opinions of others has the potential to be one of the number one dreams killers on the planet.
This is because many who care about other people’s opinions, don’t take action.
They fear what their peers will say or think about them, so they don’t veer off the beaten path towards their goals.
I can tell you from personal experience that other people’s opinions don’t matter – especially when it comes to your success and well-being.
Here, we’ll cover why we value other people’s opinions, how this is ultimately hurting us, and what we can do to stop.
It’s something we’re all guilty of, so I’m so excited for you to take away some tips you can start implementing today!
So, let’s get started.
I used to be so hard on myself whenever I placed too much value on someone else’s opinion.
I’d think, “Why do you care so much?! You’re better than this!”
Well, the truth is, it doesn’t always have to do with our self-worth.
It’s actually instinct to care about the opinions of others.
Back in the good ole caveman days, being a part of a group was necessary for survival.
Being part of a group ensured protection, food, and shelter.
If you weren’t part of a tribe, it likely wasn’t too long before you kicked the bucket.
This means our brains are hardwired to naturally do whatever the tribe is doing – or our surrounding peers.
When we do something that feels disapproved of by our peers, we feel a state of fear, panic, or discomfort.
This is our brain telling us, “No way dude! That’s going to get us killed!”.
When in reality you could be doing something as small as speaking your mind in public, trying a new business endeavor, or just doing anything different.
Going against the grain of society will make you feel like something is wrong.
This is your brain at work. Nothing more.
So, don’t be so hard on yourself when you place value in other people’s opinions.
That’s your brain attempting to keep you alive.
It’s natural to care about the opinions of others.
To be honest, you’d be hard-pressed trying to completely stop yourself from doing it.
Our brains are just wired that way.
However, it becomes a problem when it prevents us from reaching our goals in life.
This is unacceptable and should be avoided at all costs.
When you live in fear out of what other people might think, you never accomplish ANYTHING.
In reality, every person in this world who you look up to and has achieved greatness, did so because they took a different path.
They didn’t stay on the conveyer belt of society or care what their peers were doing.
These individuals were aware that to pursue their dreams they had to undergo false criticism from others, deal with social rejection, and push through their own self-doubt to get there.
What I’m saying is, you’ll never accomplish what you want in life by letting the opinions of others dictate what you should, or shouldn’t, do.
Decide what you want and GO AFTER IT.
Because people will always have something to say.
No matter what actions you take.
Because you actually have none.
You have absolutely zero control of other people’s opinions about you – at all times.
And, you know what?
This brings me such an overwhelming sense of calm!
When you realize you have zero control, you can release that tension you’ve been holding on to when it comes to the opinions of others.
Also, no matter how great you are, there will always be those who just aren’t into what you’re doing.
One of my favorite examples is that you could be the juiciest, most beautiful peach there is…but there will still be those who don’t like peaches.
So keep doing you and don’t question yourself based on what other people think.
So, now that you realize you have no control over other people’s opinions, how are you going to let that affect you?
Well, it turns out what you DO have control over is what you let those opinions mean to YOU.
And you don’t have to let any opinion mean anything.
Remember, you always have control over your feelings towards anything, which stems directly from your thoughts.
If you create thoughts that support you, you’ll never let other people’s opinions affect the way you think ever.
So, create thoughts and feelings that serve YOU.
People will judge you regardless.
This is one of my favorite hacks to use.
Whenever someone says something negative about me or my goals, I imagine them saying something that is totally ridiculous and untrue.
For example, I would imagine another person saying, “I hate your purple hair.”
Seeing as I don’t have purple hair, this statement is so untrue and ridiculous that I would never give this opinion any thought.
This opinion would mean nothing to me.
That’s how you have to treat ANY negative opinion about you.
Don’t give it any meaning,
Someone doubting your goals and abilities should sound just as ridiculous to you as them accusing you of having differently colored hair.
See how powerful this is?
Here’s a plot twist.
In most cases, the more opinions people have about you, the further ahead you’re getting in life.
That’s because the further along you get in any journey, the more you create a polarity between people who love you and people who just don’t like you.
This happens because you’re likely putting yourself out there and making yourself known.
Which gives people an opportunity to form an opinion.
And, this polarity is a good thing!
It means you’re showing up in the world and displaying your true self for everyone to see.
Which means judgments and opinions will be heard.
But you know what’s worse than a negative opinion? Indifference.
So, strive to create a polarity. Put yourself out there.
Don’t be indifferent to others because you’re afraid of being not liked.
When you show up to the world, you’re only attracting that much more people who LOVE what you’re about.
Now, I’m not saying you wink every time you look in the mirror.
And this isn’t going to be a “we are all beautiful creatures of the universe” speech.
I just want you to truly love every aspect of what makes you, YOU.
Get to know and love yourself.
A simple way to do this is to write down your likes and dislikes on a piece of paper.
Become aware of what makes you the individual you are.
So many of us take the time to examine other people’s wants and opinions, but never our own!
Do this exercise and learn what makes you tick.
Then, become your biggest advocate.
Remember how you could be the juiciest peach in the world, but not everyone will like peaches?
Well if you’re a peach, I want you to become the most highly recognized world-renowned advocate for peaches.
Be an advocate for your quirks, flaws, likes, dislikes – EVERYTHING.
Be your biggest supporter and be obsessed with everything you’re about.
You can’t expect others to do that for you.
I can’t express enough here how powerful it is to stop letting the opinions of others affect you.
It opens up so many more opportunities for you to grow and take action.
You’ll be surprised what greatness you allow yourself to achieve when you only focus on yourself.
So, be one-hundred percent unapologetically yourself.
The people who support you will join in on the cause and you’ll be that much happier for it.
You got this!
Hey there! I'm Kat Rentas. I’m a certified eating psychology coach for women who believes that eating healthy should feel simple and sustainable. I teach hundreds of high-performing women to change their eating habits without the overwhelm. Want to change your eating habits in a way that is aligned with your needs, preferences, and goals? You’re in the right place. You can read my full story here.