When beginning their journey to healthier eating, I notice most women will focus on WHAT they’re eating.
They’ll try to find the perfect diet, meal plan, or weight loss program so they know they’re “eating the right things” to get the results they want.
And then, something almost always goes wrong.
These women will find themselves craving unhealthy foods, falling off track with their food plans, and just feeling helpless to their eating choices.
So, what’s really going wrong with this approach? It’s that in this scenario, these women aren’t focusing on the first step to natural, healthy eating.
Which is changing WHO you’re showing up as everyday with food.
In today’s episode, you’ll discover why focusing on who you’re showing up as with food matters more than the diet plan you’ve been trying to stick to.
And I’ll share exactly what questions to ask yourself to begin showing up as the version of yourself who is a naturally healthy eater.
Hello there! How are you? How’s your week going? My week’s going fantastic. It seems like we’re out of the cooler weather here in Florida. For those who don’t know, I currently live in North Florida, so it definitely still gets cold at certain times of the year. But it looks like we’re officially out of the cold and into the warmer weather. Which means we have approximately a few weeks left until it gets insanely, insanely hot. Which is totally fine. I’ll take the heat over the cold anyday. For me personally. And, it’s a really amazing time, because this podcast is really growing. It’s so amazing to see how many more women are gaining value from this podcast each and every week. Every single message, email, podcast review, or story you all send me makes my day. There is nothing I love to see more. Because it reminds me why I created this podcast in the first place. Which is to serve you and your eating habits in a different way that creates lasting change with food and with your body. It’s also very exciting because I’ve welcomed a number of new, incredible women into my Own Your Eating Habits program. And, I say this all of the time to my boyfriend. And it sounds really, really cheesy. But I really don’t know how I get so lucky with my clients. They are all incredible, incredible women. And it makes sense right, these are women who are investing in themselves and taking control of their eating habits and their lives. Which says a lot in itself. So, things are good. I’ve got good weather, so much fun growth with this podcast, and amazing clients I get to serve everyday. So, let’s get into today’s topic which is being the healthy eater. And I want to explain what I mean by this. Since this sounds a little cryptic. Many of us will go into healthy eating focusing on the tactics. So we’ll focus on what we’re eating, planning our meal prepping – everything that’s very tactical and action-based. And this is all well and good. The reason why we naturally focus on the more action-based approach is because it’s what we’re taught. It’s a very masculine approach to solving a problem. It’s where we’re more focused on changing our outside circumstances to get the results we want. And, as most of you will already know, especially if you’re my client, my practice focuses on going inwards first. Meaning, before we get to the tactics, we focus on what brings you brain and body to make eating decisions. Because if we’re not addressing those things, which are the real cause of your eating habits, the tactics won’t work. You’ll feel resistance to the meal planning, prepping – all of it. And you will end up self sabotaging. This is the approach I took for years and I had no idea why it wasn’t working. And you likely have experienced this as well. It’s because we’re focused on externally how to create healthy eating habits, without looking inwards at our brain and body. So, in my practice, that’s where we start. And when you’re working to become someone who eats healthy naturally, the tactics do play a part eventually, right? No question about that. But first we want to focus on who you’re being as an eater. As in, the person you’re showing up as every day when you make your eating decisions. So what thoughts are you thinking everyday as someone who naturally makes healthy eating decisions for yourself? What emotions does that version of you experience daily? How does she approach the days that feel harder? How does she treat herself? What is her relationship to her body? And I want you to really consider this for a second. Close your eyes and visualize what this version of yourself looks like. Unless you’re driving now. Don’t do that. Do this exercise later. But when you’re able to, close your eyes and visualize an entire day in the life as the version of you who eats healthy with ease. Really observe her. Get to know her. And this isn’t to just do a fun, fluffy mindset exercise. This is what will truly bring you the eating habits you want naturally over time. Because who you’re being with food and body is actually much more important than what you’re doing, or what you’re eating. And, before you’re like, “What in the hell does that mean, Kat?”, don’t worry. I’m going to explain exactly why this is so important here.
When most of us get started in our healthy eating journey, we have the belief “I don’t know how to eat healthy” or “I don’t know what to eat” or “I’ve never consistently eaten healthy before”. And to you, these will seem like facts. They will seem as certain as the sky being blue. But, these are beliefs. Because they are subjective. They can’t exactly be proven in a court of law. And these beliefs are not serving the eating habits you want to create. Because with the belief of “not knowing how” you’re creating emotions similar to helplessness, doubt, inadequacy, insufficiency, etc. And from these emotions you’re not going to be compelled to take the steps you need to, to solve your eating habits, right? I remember I would have these beliefs for a very, very long time. And to me, it did seem like fact. I would believe “I don’t know how to do this” when it came time to change the way I was eating. Now, this doesn’t mean I didn’t want support or other resources. But, in believing this thought, that “I didn’t know how” it was just me not taking any responsibility for my results with food. I was just having a lot of pity on myself, feeling like a victim of my eating habits, and in my mind, I just needed someone to come along and give me the perfect solution. Because I just, in my mind “didn’t know at all how to do it”. Now, I will again clarify that there are some of you listening that genuinely believe this. You’ll think “I just don’t know what I’m doing” and “I just don’t know how”. And I hear you. It’s possible you may not have found the right tools to create long-term eating habits. This is the case for women who join my coaching program. They just haven’t been given the tools with food to create that lasting change. But, the belief of “not knowing how”, even if you do have those tools, will prevent you from taking action with the right tools. And this is really sneaky. I’m going to give you a specific example of this, so you can see exactly what I mean. Let’s say you, for example, have tried a number of diet programs, meal plans, weight loss programs, and you still haven’t changed your eating habits long-term. At this point, you’re feeling pretty disappointed and burnt out from everything you’ve tried and you now have a conditioned belief “I don’t know how to eat healthy” or maybe “I don’t know how to eat in moderation”. Something like that. You now have beliefs about who you are currently as an eater. And this is likely a strong belief that feels like a fact to you. So then, let’s say with this belief, you find this podcast or maybe you become my client. And let’s say one of the first steps you hear from me is to do something simple like, observe what you’re feeling emotionally before you eat, right? Super simple. It’s a new solution that you maybe haven’t tried before. What’s going to happen, your brain isn’t going to be convinced that this solution is enough. It’s going to hear what I’m saying on this podcast, or if you’re a client what I’m saying in my program, and everything will logically make sense. But, something in your brain will cause you to hesitate with following through with whatever solution I present to you. And this is because of the strong belief you have that “you don’t know how”. And we all know what this feels like. In this example, you’re given a very clear, simple solution to start with. And somehow, your brain doesn’t think it’s enough. You’ll probably have all of this mind chatter with thoughts like “It can’ t be that simple”, “I’m a special case and it won’t work for me”, “What else do I do when this doesn’t work?”. Some of the time, and it’s funny this is literally just how our brains work with this belief, some of the time I’ll have listeners or even my clients say to me, “No, but really, what else do I have to do? How else do I do this?”. And they haven’t even taken action quite yet on the simple solution. And there’s nothing wrong with these people. This is how my brain likes to work sometimes as well. It’s because with the belief “I don’t know how to eat healthy” what will you feel compelled to do? No matter what solution is presented to you? You’re going to feel compelled to look for the how, no matter what. Because no matter what solution you’re given with food, that belief will always make you feel like it’s not enough. And you’ll be spending a lot of time researching online, asking the experts – all because you think you don’t know how. Does this make sense? And I want you to consider if you’ve ever been stuck here, or if you’re stuck here now. There’s no shame, either way. If this is a place you’re in, congratulations you have a human brain. Welcome to the club. What most of your brains will want with changing your eating habits, is an exact step-by-step manual of what to do every second of the day, so you can’t possibly fail. Your brain doesn’t want to come up with the healthy eating answers for itself. First off, because you’re believing you don’t have the answer. And second, because your brain doesn’t want to take responsibility for your healthy eating how. It wants to transfer that responsibility to someone else, because then when you fail, it’s not your fault, right? It can feel less painful. Now, to clarify, in my coaching program it’s a mixture of both. You do get a process and curriculum to follow. Because this will make changing your eating habits really digestible to your current brain. But, in general, how we work together to change your eating habits in my practice is by implementing and evaluating your personal progress. Because, especially with food, there’s no exact cookie-cutter solution that will work for every person. How you become a naturally healthy eater is by working on the belief “I know what to do” or at the very least “I know I can figure this out”. Because from this belief, you’re able to take full responsibility. You’re in that driver’s seat. And then, you’re ready to implement and evaluate so you’re moving towards the natural eating habits you want. From the belief of knowing that “You do know what to do”. If you’re living with the belief “I don’t know how to eat healthy” your brain is going to feel resistance to any solution. Instead, I encourage you to try on a belief that will allow you to take ownership of your eating habits and the changes you want to make. Work on the belief that you are someone who knows how. That you can trust yourself to figure out the best next step, always. This is what keeps you moving forward with your eating habits, rather than staying stuck and feeling like a victim of them. Where you want to start with changing your eating habits, always, is believing that you are someone who does know how to change them. That goes for if you’re brand new to this podcast, and you’re just starting to dive into this work. And that goes for those of you who are now my client. A naturally healthy eater, in this context, can be defined as simply being a person who has unshakable belief in themselves that they do have the food answers, within them. That they have everything they need to make eating decisions from their mind and body. And my program teaches women exactly how to go about finding these answers and this podcast teaches you how to do that as well. But, you won’t find any food answers without believing that you already have them. Make sense? On the same page here? Fantastic. I want you to really consider how someone shows up to their eating habits differently when they’re thinking the thought “I don’t’ know how”. As mentioned, I used to be this woman, and if you’re in this place now, more than okay. But here’s exactly how someone tends to show up to their eating habits with this belief. They tend to engage in a lot of self pity. So that’s when they’re thinking “Why is this happening to me?”. “I don’t have the time or resources”, “My situation is different from other people’s” etc. They all tend to do a lot of spinning. So they’ll constantly ask other people what they should do, even when presented with the answers. They overthink, right? All because of that belief of “not knowing how”. And that’s another thing, they will ask how to do something, a lot. They will often not truly believe or accept a solution. So, this is when they’ll hear a solution and say, “No, but I just know that won’t work for me personally” without ever having committed to the solution in the first place. And a lot of the time they just spend time in inaction as well. So, this looks like a lot of procrastinating, hiding, binge watching Netflix – all of those things. And I want us to all be very honest with ourselves here, because if you have a human brain, that means you’ll know what it’s like to have been this person. I was an expert at believing “ I just don’t know how to eat healthy”. That’s why I can shed so much knowledge with you guys. I did all of the wrong things. Now, here’s how someone shows up to their eating habits when they’re thinking “I know what to do”. Here’s the difference. They believe the presented solution is good enough to work for them. They take action on the solutions that they’re given. They evaluate all progress, whether they have setbacks or succeed. And they’re constantly learning and taking responsibility for their own food results. Most importantly, this student or client will always ask themselves what the answer is first. And with changing your eating habits, this is beyond necessary. I always say this to my clients. But, it’s never my job as the coach to come up with all of the healthy eating answers for you, because that defeats the purpose, right? That’s why restrictive diets and cookie-cutter meal plans didn’t work for you. Because you were getting the food answers from outside of yourself. In my practice, you learn how to ask yourself the important questions to come up with the food answers for the rest of your life. And the more you can practice asking yourself how, and the more you can trust yourself to know the answers, the quicker you will change your eating habits. And this mentality is how you become the healthy eater. The version of yourself who eats healthy naturally with ease. Imagine the version of yourself who takes full responsibility for her eating habits. Not in way where she’s forcing herself to eat a certain way, and not in way where she’s striving for perfection with food. But in a way where eating healthy feels sustainable and easy for her. What does she think about herself and food? What emotions does she feel? What does she do daily? How does she show up to her eating habits? And what is she taking responsibility for with food? All important things to consider. Alright, my friend. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I hope this gave you new and different perspective. I can’t wait to hear how it goes. And I’ll talk to you next week.
Hey there! I'm Kat Rentas. I’m a certified life and health coach for women who believes that eating healthy should feel simple and sustainable. I teach hundreds of high-performing women to change their eating habits without the overwhelm. Want to change your eating habits in a way that is aligned with your needs, preferences, and goals? You’re in the right place. You can read my full story here.