Hello, my friends, how are you doing this week? I’m excited to get into today’s episode. I want to talk all about control with food. So I want you to understand exactly what control with food is not because there are a lot of misconceptions and I want you to really understand what real control with food actually looks like in your life. When you have created control with food, that feels easy and natural to you.
But before we get into that, I want to give a shout out to some of my clients this week as a whole, because there are so many clients right now who are having really big wins and own your eating habits. But it’s so amazing because it’s separate from just creating control with food. And I think this is all really important for all of you to understand, because in the beginning of this work with healthy eating, we have this tunnel vision with it.
We really are. So hyper-focused on eating the right things, doing it perfectly so we can get the result with our bodies that we want. And this is really, really valid. These things are great, but I think sometimes we lose sight of what else changes in our lives. When we remove the food struggles from our mind, from our emotional state. And these are the wins with my clients that just fill me up every single day.
It is just amazing to see. So some examples that just happened this week, there have been clients who are improving their marriages, there’s clients who are having a more enjoyable relationship with their kids, relieving emotional stress from the workplace, and overall just creating more fulfillment in their lives. And why this happens is because in the coaching container, food was just a window into what areas of life we need to heal.
The most solving for our food struggles is an opportunity because there are things in our lives that will compel us to give up control with food in the beginning. And in coaching, what we’re able to do is we’re able to learn how to heal those things. And what happens when we heal these things emotionally is we simultaneously remove the constant urge to overindulge in food.
We remove the desire to constantly use food, to cover things up and comfort ourselves from our lives. So this is why this becomes possible. It’s why these results show up for these clients. And I think it’s important that we’re all spending time with what else would be possible if food was no longer a stressor and it is so much more than just eating the right things and losing the weight so much more becomes possible.
All right. So today I want to talk about control with food and where it comes from.
And for those of you that are new here, this is exactly what I teach. I teach women how to create lifelong control with food. It is my jam and this is possible for absolutely anyone, but it’s really important. We understand what control actually looks like because there are massive misconceptions around what control with food actually is.
So I want to start by talking about what control is not, because we’ve got to clear this up. My friends, I want you to know that control is not giving more of your effort. All right? So it’s not giving more of yourself. Emotionally. Every day control is not doing more things. So adding more tasks to something, and lastly control is not perfection.
This one’s so important. I want you to let this all sink in control is not perfection. Meaning you never have setbacks with food. This is what most of you will believe control is with food.
And it’s totally valid that this belief is there for you, because why we believe this in the beginning, we believe that this is what control with food is, is because it’s what we’ve been taught by the diet industry. It has taught us that to solve our food struggles and to have control with food and to reach our ideal weight that we have to give more effort. We have to do more things with food and we have to be perfect.
We can’t make mistakes. We have to eat the right things. It’s exhausting, even just talking about it, right? But here’s the truth. Doing more and giving more of yourself to have control is not control. And I want you to hear me giving more of yourself and doing more things to have control isn’t control.
This is you trying to force the control with food into place.
All because you genuinely do not believe that you have control. All right, it’s attempting control with a total lack of belief in yourself that you are someone who has control with food and you’ll find this is exactly why willpower will be necessary. So willpower is attempting to force control with food into place all while you have zero belief that you do have control, you have a sense of doubt.
You have a sense of helplessness. For many of us will have a sense of panic that we won’t follow through with a meal plan or a diet, or get the results we want. Right? We’ll have all of these doubts and willpower is attempting to force the food plan, the diet regimen, the control into place, despite everything telling us, it’s not going to work, that we do not have control.
This will mean you are working against yourself.
This is not control. This is suffering. You will be training your brain to believe that eating healthy is unfulfilling difficult and hard. You will believe healthy. Eating will requires so much from you. So you’ll actually avoid doing the work in many cases, for many of you, you’ll actually end up doing more diets because you want to solve this problem, which ends up continuing to recondition.
This belief system that control requires more from you. It requires more effort, more restriction doing more things and being perfect. And then when that doesn’t work out, because you think that’s how control is created. You think you just must not have control. This is a cycle that so many of us end up in and it’s all because of the thought error. It’s because of the mistaken belief that control with food requires more effort and restriction.
And it does not.
This is so important for us to see if we want to create control with food. That feels natural. That feels easy. And for those people where healthy eating doesn’t require effort that you may have noticed in your life, you’re going to believe that they just got lucky that this is just how they are, that you’ve been dealt an unlucky hand in your life. And it’s not true.
Those individuals just know what control actually is with food. And this is the shift I want you to experience today. So let’s talk about what control with food actually is right now. You may believe that control happens when we hold on tightly to it. And real control is letting go. It’s releasing the reigns.
It’s surrendering, it’s leaning back. It’s not requiring more from yourself to have control of every eating decision, how this becomes possible. Because if you, 100%, believe you have control with food.
You believe that everything you eat is your decision. Then you will not feel like you need to force this control in to place control with food becomes easy. It requires no effort. And when I say control with food becomes easy because you release the reins and you don’t hold on tightly. I’m not saying that you go to the other end of the spectrum. And rather than perfection with food, you self-sabotage, that is not what releasing the reins is.
That may be what releasing the reigns looks like to you now, because when perfection stops being sustainable, where you’re holding onto the rain, super, super tight, your version of letting them go is self-sabotaging and overeating and emotionally eating and falling off track control with food means releasing the reigns. But from the self-trust that you have control of everything you eat, that you can decide how much to eat, what to eat and do you know how to get the results with food that you want.
And to help you understand this, I want you to picture the things in your life that, you know, you have 100% control over. It’s going to be things that are second nature to you. So common things that I see are things like driving, making sure your kids are fed, showing up to work every day, for example. So whether or not you’ll do those things is not taking up any of your brain space.
You decide ahead of time that it’s going to happen and you’re not overthinking or over solving for how you’ll guarantee that it’s going to happen. Because you know, 100% you just will, you have utmost confidence and self-trust that it’s going to happen no matter what it does not feel like an emergency. It just feels true. There’s no debating in your mind.
This is control. This is releasing the reigns. It’s leaning back because you have 100% belief that these things are in your control.
And this is the only way control with food is created. If you attempt to create control with food, without belief that you have control, it will always be hanging by a string. It’s going to be so fragile. And this is why many of us who attempt diet protocols and weight loss programs will succeed for a short while.
And then eventually we will go back to our old eating habits and gain the weight back because what happened is we accomplished the diet and we lost the weight with the same brain that created the original eating habits and the original weight. In other words, we didn’t become someone new in the diet or weight loss program. That process didn’t allow us to become someone who believed we had 100 control with food.
We will leave those methods still, constantly feeling like we have to micromanage food and our results with our body.
Because in doing that method, we taught ourselves that that was what was necessary. So actually those processes further caused us to believe that we can’t trust ourselves to have control with food, which is why we’re following a strict plan with food to begin with. I really am hoping this makes sense because many of you really need to understand this. I certainly did. In the past, you cannot have lifelong control with food.
If you are taking action, as someone who doesn’t have control with food, I’ll actually say that one again. You can not have lifelong control with food. If you are taking action, as someone who doesn’t have control with food, all right? So picture someone who eats healthy naturally, you can picture someone outside of you.
You can picture that future version of yourself, whatever feels most authentic picture what she’s like, how she sees the world, how she eats every day, this person, she listens to her body.
She doesn’t over eat or emotionally eat. She genuinely enjoys the eating experience. She loves nutritionally, valuable foods while also enjoying the foods that she finds pleasurable without losing control with them, picture that person. We all know someone we’ve all met this person. Most of us find them really annoying in the beginning. But think about it.
Is she attempting to stick to strict diet regimens or weight loss programs? This version of yourself or this person is she eliminating foods that she loves out of desperation? Is she forcing control into place? No. She, 100% knows that control with food is always hers.
It’s just a non-negotiable for her. She never even thinks about it. It takes up Ciro brain space. She’s not obsessed with perfection. She’s not obsessed with doing more. And she doesn’t give more of herself emotionally more of her effort to make eating decisions all because control to her means she 100% believes that she has it.
All right. So I want you to really check in on a scale of one to 10. How much do you believe that you have 100% control with food? If it’s less than a 10, 10 being, you have 100% belief that you do have control. That means you will feel compelled to compensate for that lack of belief. I forcing the control into place by giving more of yourself, I doing more things by attempting to achieve perfection.
This will keep you in a place where you struggle with food. The goal to become a naturally healthy eater where control is just something that feels second nature to you. That comes from allowing you to become someone who knows that they always have that control with food. All right, my friends, I hope this was helpful for you. I hope you have a very good rest of your week and I’ll talk to you next week.