Hello, my dear friends, welcome back to the healthy eating for busy women podcast. I’m happy you are here, and today is gonna be a bit of a, i don’t wanna see challenging episode, but a lot of us are going to feel maybe a little called out. We’re gonna notice some […0.5s] blind spots that have been giving us a hard time in this journey […0.5s] to healthier eating and weight loss.And you can already tell by the title, because we’re gonna be talking about where we fight for our own limitations in this area of our lives.And i just wanna say right off the bat, you guys, this is just a by product of being human. You will have to change this in order to create the results you want.So to create the transformation you want with food and your body, you will have to stop fighting for your limitations. However, the fact that you might be doing this doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It is actually such a normal byproduct of being human.So first and foremost, we’re just gonna establish that here, because we’re not gonna be able to take […0.5s] the most value, an introspection from a topic like this, unless we see it as a scientist and less like a judge.So i just wanna offer that in case […0.6s] stuff comes up, you notice things, i don’t want you to judge yourself for it. And really here’s what it looks like when we fight for our limitations […0.5s] in our health journey.And for context for those of you who are new, i have been coaching women from around the world for about a decade now. So i have seen every case, every scenario, every circumstance, every background.And all of that experience, right, has culminated into this behavior that so many of us will have where we fight for these perceived limitations.And here’s what it looks like in its most basic form. It’s when you layer evidence against yourself that a result you want isn’t accessible or possible for you.So i’m gonna say that again, fighting for your limitations is when you stack evidence against yourself that a result you want is not accessible to you. You are building this evidence in your brain over time, and it’s constantly happening.And the amount of women, you guys, i come across those of, y’all sometimes reach out to me, and y’all say what you say on the podcast makes perfect sense.This is exactly what i’m doing, but […0.5s] here’s why i haven’t made the change yet. And what will come up is your perceived limitation, and a lot of you guys don’t realize you’re doing this. I was here too, no shame.But a lot of you guys don’t realize that you are indulging perceived limitations or why you don’t have the weight loss you want or the healthy eating you want.So some perceived limitations, i hear a lot, which you might have are, you’re gonna have to give up foods you love, and you’re not willing to do that, or, you have to eat perfectly […0.5s] nutritionally valuable food, and so that’s not ideal, […0.6s] or you don’t wanna stop enjoying food, you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough support, whatever it is, i want you to establish what your perceived limitations are, because you cannot create the results you want.If you are selling yourself on those stories, and our brain will always give us one, so it’s not personal, […0.5s] and i want you to see […0.5s] how in that moment, if someone was to tell you, no, actually, that’s not true, you do have enough time.Look, here’s how you have enough time, here’s why you don’t have to restrict food, here’s how it is available. Do you guys notice that feeling where you want to defend yourself a little bit? This is okay, this is normal, and you wanna be like, no, but really i don’t have enough time.No, i am though i’m too busy. No, i’m gonna have to restrict myself because weight loss is harder for me. This is human, and i want you guys to not shame yourself when you watch yourself defending your own limitations in this area of your life, because you will, […0.5s] but the key is we’ve gotta start calling ourselves out on this, because we’ve gotta stop engaging in this type of behavior.And i even have noticed this in my past where […0.6s] it will irk you if you’re struggling with something, […0.5s] and then someone says actually that’s not the case, here’s how it’s solvable. It should be great news that someone gives us a solution, right?We should want to learn more and say, amazing, oh my gosh, i have enough time. How tell me more, i don’t have to restrict myself, get up, tell me more. But no, we feel this urge to fight for our limitations and defend and indulge in them. And if you feel […0.5s] stuck and helpless in your journey towards healthier eating and weight loss, this is very likely happening for you right now.And i want you to be willing to be so honest about that from a safe space here today, because this is a very normal function of the brain when you’re trying to change your behaviors. But we can’t let it keep you stuck anymore. That’s what we have to break.So we’re gonna get really clear today on where you are currently fighting for your limitations when it comes to eating healthier, losing weight. If that is your goal and reaching your ideal health, so to really make sure we stop doing this. We’ve gotta understand where it comes from.Why do we do this? Why do we fight for our limitations? Because it seems absurd, right? Why would we do this?But a huge rule of my teachings, just like i opened up with, right is you do not get to judge yourself on any behavior you notice. And i’m gonna be so honest because the reason why we shouldn’t do this is because it’s a lazy approach.It is lazy when we judge ourselves, because it means we’re not looking for the reason why this behavior makes sense right now. You are not lazy, but calling, judging ourselves for something we notice is not productive. So i hope that makes sense.It’s important to understand that your behavior and the things that your brain offers you always make sense functionally.So here’s why it makes sense that you fight for your limitations with your health. And it’s not personal. It’s because […0.5s] here it is fighting for your limitations, is your way of protecting yourself […0.5s] from an uncomfortable emotional experience.So i’ll say it again. Fighting for your limitations is your way to protect yourself from […0.5s] emotional discomfort. And […0.6s] a really big piece of awareness to know is that anything you do or don’t do is motivated by how you want to feel or how you don’t want to feel.So this is just saying that as humans, we are emotionally driven creatures, right? If something’s gonna make us feel uncomfortable, we avoid it. If something will make us feel comfortable and comforted and good, we will go towards it.Right, and the function of fighting for our limitations is that when we do this, we do not have to go through the uncomfortable, vulnerable emotional experience of trying and failing at something we want.When you indulge a limitation, you do not have to go through that vulnerability of trying and failing at something you want.Because think about it, some of y’all, of course, right, listen to this podcast, think about getting coaching, but then you guys will come to me with this. You’re fighting for your limitations, so what i say makes sense, you agree, and then you think, no, but for me, it can’t just be that simple.And logically, you may know that you’re not that special, right, that this can’t be true, but emotionally, i want you guys to notice what’s happening there when you fight for your limitations.Because what is your brain […0.6s] protecting you from in almost every scenario, it’s gonna be you not wanting to experience the discomfort […0.5s] of failure. It’s always about failure, especially for those of you who are type a ambitious. You love to accomplish things.We’re always gonna wanna avoid the emotional experience of failure very seriously in a way that will prevent you from getting results in you that you want in your life.And right now we’re talking about your health, which is a very serious thing. And so we’ve gotta really understand how we’re doing this, and how everything is motivated by us avoiding […0.5s] failure and the emotional discomfort of that.And this is a huge problem that we need to move past. Because to build the skills of naturally healthy eating long term weight loss, you will need to be able to engage in foundational trial and error, error, […0.6s] big piece of it, […0.5s] right? Becoming the healthiest version of you is not a test you can win or fail at. You can’t get an a plus.It’s a set of skills you’ve gotta build by trialling and erroring. And you cannot avoid this work, but here’s the thing. You primitively have a brain that wants to protect you from uncomfortable emotions like shame and adequacy, even though those emotions are safe and healthy to feel as a human.Many of you are fighting for limitations in this area, […0.5s] not because you logically believe those limitations, but because you’re emotionally protecting yourself from a feeling that will come up if you really let yourself try.If you really take responsibility, acknowledge what’s in your control, stop indulging your excuses and your limitations where you let yourself be courageous, and build the skills necessary to become your healthiest self.I want you guys to know in all of my years, hundreds of women coach, there is not one successful client i have had that has not failed her way to her ultimate healing, right?What every client did is acknowledge their fearful relationship to failure along the way, just like you might be doing today. And then they stopped fighting for their limitations to protect themselves from failure. This is what’s between you and success right now.The results you want, you’re just fighting for your limitations to protect yourself from the necessary trial and error because of the emotions you might have come up in that process. Now here’s where you’ll notice this happening, and where you’ll notice these perceived limitations coming up.You’re gonna notice them come up. I want you to watch this in the language you speak […0.5s] day to day, the thoughts that you are indulging about your life. Seriously, it’s gonna feel casual, especially if you’ve never questioned these thoughts.That’s okay, but watch what you are allowing yourself to think, watch what you are allowing yourself to speak, and what manner of speaking, what limitations, what excuses […0.6s] are you letting yourself indulge for why you can’t have this result in your life of naturally healthy eating, weight loss, your ideal body.Are you casually saying this week was just so busy, and then internally letting yourself believe that, you couldn’t prioritize your health cause of your schedule.Are you letting yourself speak as if this area of your life is hard or complicated, as if you’re a special less capable case, right?We all do this, but i want you to be really honest and notice where you’re fighting for your own limitations in this area of your life, because if you fight for your limitations in this area, you will not make progress.It’s gonna be impossible because you’re gonna have to feel like you’re pushing against a brick wall to get anywhere. And this brick wall isn’t an actual limitation. It’s one you’re creating through indulging these thoughts in your own mind.And you might notice when you really look at this that day to day, you are genuinely telling yourself that you can’t eat healthier. You can’t stop emotional eating, can’t lose weight […0.6s] without restricting foods. And you can’t heal health symptoms that, you want to make a priority.So here’s what i want you to do when you notice it, so you stop sabotaging your progress, and you can start getting results. I want you to notice these thoughts in the posture of compassionate vigilance.So i know this sounds a little weird. But […0.6s] as i mentioned a million times, the rule of my coaching is you never get to judge your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, any of it. Your only job is to be a witness to them, kind like a scientist. So […0.5s] you need to start narrating these things properly. Don’t say i’m still having this problem. I’m still judging myself right now. I suck, i’m doing it wrong.No, stop. What you’re gonna do, haha, is you’re gonna start noticing objectively as a scientist, […0.5s] even if you don’t quite believe it yet. I want you to at least narrate these things properly.I want you to say i am having these thoughts. I am thinking these perceived limitations right now. I am preventing my growth when i continue to speak this way. I am protecting myself from the fear of actually trying. And i’m holding myself back because i’m afraid of the failure necessary to grow in this area.Y’all, i know it’s gonna be like, exposing yourself naked in front of a crowd to declare these honest things about yourself. But there is a stability in it when you stop hiding from the truth of what’s happening, and you narrate it properly.I promise you please try it, because it’s gonna make you a lot smarter in this area of your life when you notice compassionately, but also vigilantly these thoughts without adding an emotional story about yourself.And i think what i wanna close off with today is […0.5s] a client story that happened recently and she asked me such a brilliant question. And it was so […0.5s] pertinent to what we’re talking about today.She […0.7s] was sick that week and she, […0.6s] has progressed with her results and her weight loss and she’s done a really beautiful job.This is a client who has incredible awareness, but it was interesting because she had a week where she was sick, which of course we can all have the compassion for being sick sucks.But what was interesting is the thought she had were along the lines of, this is so hard. And, so it’s more inaccessible when i’m sick to prioritize healthy eating. How do people with chronic illnesses do it or really tough health symptoms do it?Because i just feel like this is so impossible being sick for a week. And i said, oh, interesting. This is a great lesson because, i’ve coached many women with these chronic illnesses and in really severe life circumstances like diagnosis, family loss, all the things in the coaching.And i wanna share this with you guys on the podcast so it can help you. Because this is actually something that helped me and it has humbled me.These women, many of them that i coach who have chronic illnesses were truly, they have every reason in the world to […0.5s] impose these limitations on themselves in their thoughts. They have all the ability to stack these limitations and fight for them.What i told this client is she’s like, oh, i couldn’t even imagine what these types of women do.And what i told this client who had the thought, […0.5s] i feel like this week is so impossible, i said to her, what’s different about the women who have more severe illnesses is that they are not having that thought generally, right?The women i coach who really are in dire circumstances, and this might be you right now listening, it might not, but i want you guys to consider this for the purposes of learning.Generally, the women who really have limitations they really could fight for, don’t […0.6s] do it, because they know to indulge that self pity when they have every reason to will completely debilitate them.It will […0.7s] knock the rug out from under their feet and they will not be able to even show up to their lives. And it’s really understanding the difference between compassion and pity, understanding that compassion says this is hard right now.Pity, which debilitates us, says this is too hard for me right now, so i can’t take action, i can’t eat healthy, i can’t do what benefits my health, which is not true, you guys.And here’s the thing what the client asked me. She said, well, what if there’s a client who really couldn’t get up? And i but what And i said, but notice how you’re looking for evidence to fight for the limitation rather than what could be available to you.And that’s where this client got it right. She was like, well, what if limitation, what if this and this is something that a lot of my ladies in tougher circumstances do not do quite as much because they’re looking for where can i make this work? Because that’s what will allow them to feel emotionally stable and centered and strong.For so many of us notice how our brains, even when we have circumstances where we can take action, we can do something. We’re fighting for the reasons why we can’t. And i want you guys to know that this is the best dose of humility. That’s gonna feel so much better.It’s gonna feel so much more stabilizing to think, oh, what if the difference with people who actually have severe limitations is that they’re not even telling themselves they can’t, because that’s not useful. Does that make sense?Y’all, i know that this was a separate client example, but i really wanted to share it in case there was something here that spoke to you. And i just wanna say if you are someone who’s dealing with tough circumstances right now or a more chronic illness, a diagnosis, i have so much love for you.I have coached so many of you, and i know not every situation is the same. But […0.5s] i want this all to humble us. And know that no matter what symptoms you are dealing with, what schedule, what life, there is no benefit to validating and fighting for your limitations in a way that produces self pity.You can have compassion for the things that are hard without using them against yourself with the results you want.So that is my spiel for today, friends. I hope that this gave you some empowerment somewhere. Whether that was a soft call out or stronger one today, i hope it gave you value. I love you all so much, and i will talk to you next week.