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Needless to say, you’re spent. You’re ready to move on from that approach. I’m here to teach you how.

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Mar 2

Your Food Relationship (And What It Says About You)

Food Relationship Kat Rentas

Most people leave their relationship with food on autopilot. 

Because many believe that this relationship comes from circumstances outside of themselves.

The truth is, you can create any relationship with food you want. 

You can choose to create a relationship with food based on punishment.

Or you can choose to create a relationship with food based on love. 

The choice is always yours.

Here, I’m going to discuss how you can begin building the relationship with food you want.

So you can eat healthy with ease.

Your Current Food Relationship

Most people view their relationship with food as a third entity. 

They think that there’s them, food, and then the relationship.

Which causes them to feel a lack of control when it comes to the way they eat.

The truth is, any relationship is simply based on your own thoughts.

That’s it. And this applies to any area of your life. 

The relationship you have with food is based on your thoughts about it. 

And this means that your relationship with food is completely under your control.

Before you can create a new relationship with food, you’ll need to observe where your relationship is currently at.

An easy way to tell is to ask yourself…

…”if food could talk, what would it say about my relationship to it?”.

This will give you so much clarity on your current relationship with food.

Follow up questions to ask yourself are:


  • “Do I pay attention to the relationship or ignore it?”
  • “Am I avoiding my food relationship?” 
  • “Do I expect anything from my relationship with food?”
  • “Am I loving or full of resentment?” 
  • “Am I grateful for our relationship?” 


Women I coach really love this work.

Since they learn so much by comparing their relationship with food to that of a person. 

You can really compare this work to your relationship with a spouse or girlfriend.

The best part about this practice?

You will gain a clear picture of why your current eating habits exist.

Our actions with food are directly representative of our relationship with it.

How healthy we eat isn’t based on how much discipline or willpower we have.

It’s based on our thoughts and feelings about food.

This work is incredibly eye-opening when you put it into practice.

Creating a New Food Relationship

To eat healthy in a way that becomes second-nature to you, it’s crucial that you have a loving relationship towards food.

This is really the reason why some people seemingly eat healthy effortlessly.

It’s one of the secrets to healthy eating habits that feel easy.

Most of us think that healthy individuals have some hidden knowledge on the “right actions” to take with food.

For the longest time, I thought these women just knew the correct foods to eat! 

The truth is, these women had solidified a relationship with food that was nourishing and loving.

Thereby making it inevitable that they provide their body with what it needed nutritionally.

While still enjoying the foods they love.

To do this for yourself, you want to intentionally decide what you want your relationship with food to be like. 

An easy way to brainstorm this is to think…

…”what does someone who eats healthy with ease think about food?”.

Follow up questions to ask yourself are:


  • “Do they constantly think about what they’re going to eat?”
  • “What do they think right before they eat?”
  • “What do they think right after they eat?”
  • “What types of foods do they love to eat?” 


You want to create a relationship with food that will give you the results you want with it.

And keep in mind, the masculine feelings of discipline, grit, and punishment won’t be sustainable long-term.

You will eventually self-sabotage your eating habits with that type of relationship.

You’ll want to focus on the more feminine feelings of love, care, and nourishment. 

This is where your relationship with food will thrive.

For more on this, read this article here.

Common Mistakes

While this practice is simple, there are a few mistakes you will want to avoid so you can get the most out of this exercise.

Beating Yourself Up

It’s perfectly normal and common for women to feel shame when they do this work.

When you first start observing your current relationship with food, you might not like what you initially find.

You might be tempted to beat yourself up and have feelings of disappointment. 

This is almost always the case when you start this process.

Have compassion for your journey with food.

Say to yourself, “Of course these are my thoughts. This makes so much sense!”.

Approach the exercise with curiosity.

Say to yourself, “I wonder why I think that way about food. So interesting!”. 

When you approach this work from compassion and curiosity, you will create a space for you to get the most out of this exercise.

Obsessing Over The “How”

Most women I begin working with tell me, “just tell me what to eat to be healthy!”. 

There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s just the wrong approach. 

Almost all of us have been led to believe that we need to focus on the actions to get results in our lives.

The truth is, I could give specific food actions to one-hundred women, and get one-hundred different results.

Because it’s their thinking that determines the food actions they take.

And your thinking is representative of your food relationship.

So, do this work and commit to creating a new food relationship.

Rather than obsessing over the “how” when it comes to eating healthy.

Not Deciding Ahead of Time

Your relationship with food is your responsibility. 

Nothing outside of you determines this relationship.

Which means nothing outside of you determines your eating habits.

This is under your control.

Knowing this, you need to intentionally create the relationship with food you want.

Don’t passively let your eating habits happen to you.

Make it a point to decide ahead of time the exact relationship you want with food.

Meaning, you will decide your thoughts and feelings about it. 

What You Say Matters

As mentioned, our relationship with food is simply our thoughts and feelings about it.

And the words you speak daily are a reflection of what you’re currently thinking.

Many people will do this relationship work, but then talk negatively about food during their day.

Be mindful of this. Don’t leave your language about your food relationship on autopilot. 

It’s not enough for you to try on new thoughts about food.

You must solidify these new thoughts by changing the way you speak about food.

Since you actively strengthen long-term thought patterns when you speak.

What to Do Next

When you do this relationship work with food, you will notice how it affects every area of your life. 

It’s truly amazing work that is super effective. 

Your world with food will completely shift.

If you create a relationship with food intentionally, you will feel more in control with your eating habits.

Which will allow you to feel empowered when it comes to food. 

This is an amazing place to start when it comes to forming healthy eating habits that feel easy. 

I can’t wait for you to do this work.

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Kat Rentas, Healthy Eating Coach

Hey there! I'm Kat Rentas. I’m a certified life and health coach for women who believes that eating healthy should feel simple and sustainable. I teach hundreds of high-performing women to change their eating habits without the overwhelm. Want to change your eating habits in a way that is aligned with your needs, preferences, and goals? You’re in the right placeYou can read my full story here.