Hello my friends. Welcome back to the podcast this week. Happy 2023. Can you actually believe it? So today I want to talk about goals in the spirit of the new year, and I did do an episode last year on New Year’s resolutions, but I wanted to talk very specifically in today’s episode about the concept of fueling your goals properly. And this time of the year, I really believe most of our brains are very conditioned to feel motivated and to feel inspired, to set new goals.
And for many of you listening, you will have very specific goals that you want to set and create in 2023 with food and body. So I really wanted to create an episode to set you up for success and to make sure that your expectations of yourself as a human are managed this year as you create the results with food and body that you want.
And this is the time of the year when your brain will become very driven and stimulated towards changes with food and body that you want to make. And the thing is, this can highly serve you, but it can also highly not serve you. And most of us have a relationship with New Year’s goals or resolutions that just doesn’t serve us long-term. So what most of us will do is we will rely on the motivation of the new year to create the changes with food and body that we want.
So it feels like a high when January 1st comes around, and we’re really just hoping every year that that high sustains itself and that that will carry us all the way to these lifelong goals that we want. Now, logically, most of us can see that this is just never the case for most of us. This will never have worked out in this way where that motivation stays around and we take continuous sustainable, consistent action.
But most of us, that dopamine hit on January 1st is so high that that logic just goes out the window. We set these goals with the same intention that hopefully we can can rely on that motivation to take action long term. And here’s what I want you to expect. First and foremost, , I’m just going to be the bearer of bad news right off the bat. Alright? So this motivation is going to run out and I want you to feel so supported in this today.
I want you to know that all of that dopamine and motivation you may be feeling right now, there will be a point when it’s not this accessible to you and sometimes it just won’t be there at all. And I want us to create a space here where you can expect it. So you’re not making it mean anything has gone wrong When that motivation feels depleted, you are a human being with a human brain, which means your motivation is going to fluctuate and it’s going to be naturally very high right now, likely because of how we’re conditioned culturally to think about this new year.
Now, we don’t want to rely on this motivation for so many of us. That’s what we’ve done in the past. So all of this is just very expected and natural that we will want to rely on the motivation, but we don’t wanna do that. What you want to do instead, which is what I’m going to talk about here today, is to get curious about your motivation in the new year, see what’s coming up for you, and then gather that data to work with yourself with your goals in the new year.
Okay? So I’m going to explain exactly what I mean exactly how you can do this, but we have to give a little bit of a pallet cleanser first. So the first pallet cleanser was that motivations going to run out. And here is the second one. It’s very important. The concept of January 1st is a completely neutral circumstance, alright?
I know it’s hard for us to believe, but it has no meaning, okay? There is no difference between December 31st or January 1st. It is a neutral circumstance and it’s the most neutral of the neutral circumstances. There is no more power to take action and create results on January 1st than any other day of the year. The only thing that changes when January 1st comes around is your thoughts about yourself and your goals.
That’s it. That’s the only thing that has changed. January 1st showed up on your calendar and you had new thoughts about your self and your goals and your ability to achieve those goals. So this may seem obvious. I know a lot of you listening are probably like, well, obviously that’s the case. I know that January 1st isn’t magical. It’s not special, it’s just another day. But I want us all to humble ourselves, in the fact that we have a human brain that doesn’t think logically.
We have this bigger primitive part of our brain that doesn’t have the perspective that some things really are neutral circumstances. There will be a part of your brain that may think that January 1st is more special than any other time of the year, and you don’t have to change that part of your brain. The key is for us to be able to hold space for both parts of our brain, where logically we see that January 1st is a neutral circumstance, but emotionally we feel tied to it and we feel attached to making changes at this time of the year.
But knowing that the only thing that actually changes on January 1st is your thoughts about yourself and your goals. Now the thing is, these thoughts that you have about January 1st and your goals can be useful or non-useful, and it’s totally unique to the person. This will be very unique to how you operate in your mind and to you are.
So this is why coaching is very important. It’s why I have a whole practice because with this work, there will be some thoughts and manners of thinking that are beneficial to a person and sometimes they aren’t. But what I want to walk through here to support you today is examples of how you can start seeing if you’re thinking about the new year in a way that’s useful to you, or if you’re thinking about the new year in a way that’s not useful. Here are the most common thoughts I see about the new year and making changes with food and body that you want.
So the thoughts that most come up are, I can do things differently. I want to be the best version of myself. I’m ready for a fresh start. Things are going to be different this year. I’m finally going to make the changes I want.
Now, what determines if thoughts are useful or non-useful is based on the energetic charge that it produces. Okay? So based on the emotion it creates for you, I’m gonna say that one more time. What determines if thoughts are useful or non-useful is based on the emotion it produces. And this is going to be unique for everyone. So what I want you to do is I want you to consider the emotions that thoughts like these create for you.
So when you think I can do things differently this year, I’m ready for a fresh start. I’m finally going to make the changes I want. What are the emotions that these thoughts create for you? Now, for some people in this world, these thoughts may create groundedness resolution, intention sufficiency, a vibration that feels very settled and calm and neutral in the body. For those of you who are my people, , who listen to this podcast, you’re probably quite similar to me, and that may not be the case when you have thoughts like this.
So when you think I’m ready for a fresh start, I’m finally going to make the changes I want. It may cause you to feel excited, hopeful, determined, et cetera, et cetera. So take a moment to decide what emotion comes up for you personally. When you think about the concept of January 1st and making the changes with food and body that you want to make this year, what is your thought? How does that thought feel?
So feel free to take a moment, pause this episode and do that. Once you have chosen a feeling that most resonates with you, so you’ve determined what that feeling is, you want to just observe the thought and feeling combination and the thought and feeling combination you chose about the new year and making these changes may look pretty and it may look nice. Nothing may look wrong with it. So a really common example I see is I want to be the best version of myself.
And then maybe it brings up the feeling of determination. Whatever thought and feeling combo you chose. I want you to take a moment and now consider how that charge energetically presents itself in your body. How does that feel? How would you describe it to someone else? So think, does it feel quick in your body or slow? Does it feel hot or maybe a little bit cool and neutral? If it had a color, what would that be?
Where in your body is this charge located? Is it in your gut and lower body? Or does it feel like it’s rising in your chest? Now here’s what’s interesting is for many of the women who are like me and that I work with high achieving women, these thought and feeling combinations actually present similarly to a stress response. So the emotion of determination, excitement, or hopefulness, it sounds useful and it sounds pretty, but if you observe how this feels energetically in your body, here’s how many women describe this to me that I work with.
They say it feels quick, it feels a bit warm or hot. Many of my clients describe it as having an orange or even red color. It feels like it’s rising in the body towards their throat. It doesn’t feel settled or secure or stable in their body. So these types of emotions that I’m referring to here, generally speaking, are not the best emotional fuels for long-term sustainable change.
So picture for you. If emotions like hopefulness or determination or excitement actually feel stable and neutral in your body, or if it feels like a rising of emotion, if that’s the emotional fuel that you’re creating from your thoughts about the new year or your goals or the changes you want to make, this type of emotional fuel will burn out really quickly. It won’t be sustainable for you personally, because even on a basic level picture how much energy it’s taking for you to have this vibration in your body.
Things like excitement or hopefulness or motivation even can present as very positive. But if you had to sit with that emotion for an extended period of time without distractions, would it feel the most comfortable and livable? Probably not, right? It wouldn’t be sustainable. That’s not an emotional experience you want to have long term. So we don’t want you to be using those emotions to fuel your goals long term.
So I want you to consider from a different lens, what would you need to believe about the changes you want to make this year to feel calm, safe, secure, grounded, and patient? For most of you, it will mean detaching from the emotions that feel more motivating and stimulating to you. So here are examples you can consider. You may need to trade excitement for patients.
You may need to trade determination with compassion. You may need to trade hopefulness with acceptance.
So here’s the thing, this is not a one size fits all, but consider this. You’ll likely know you’re on the right track if you’re maybe giving me a little bit of a side eye right now and you feel resistant to doing this. Because what I’m guessing is you’re a high achieving person who knows how to hustle. You know how to achieve a goal. You’ve proven that doing that in that way does create results in your life and you aren’t wrong. But here’s the difference.
You can’t hustle your way to long-term results with this energy, with food and body because you’re an eater for life. You have a body for life. Your results have to be sustainable for life from sustainable energy. So we can’t come from energy that feels heightened. We have to do this energetically in a sustainable way. So with that, you can consider what would you need to believe to create sustainable, calmer, more grounded energy with your goals?
What would you need to believe about the new year, your goals with embody or the changes you want to make? So I’m going to give you some examples of thoughts my clients have come up with and some that have also helped support me personally as well. I’m willing to give this the time it needs. My timing is always perfect. I’m willing to be kind to myself in the process of change. I can be a human and also take steps forward.
I am someone who is learning to navigate setbacks and failure. I have permission to do this at my own pace. See the difference? For some of you, this difference will be subtle, but I really encourage you to give yourself this gift during the new year. Compassion and groundedness is in and hustle and self punishment is out. My friends , right? It’s so last year.
I want you to consider what that would be like to achieve your goals this year without relying on the heightened energetic experiences you’re creating with your mind. To do that without relying on things like hopefulness, excitement, determination, those emotions may be sustainable for others. But what I want you to do here is just check in with yourself individually and just determine what emotional fuel with your goals will not be sustainable for you in your body and livable long term.
And what emotional fuel will, this is something I’m always doing. It is something I teach my clients to do at a very specific level, and it’s something I want you to practice doing as well. So to finish off this episode, I wanted to do something a little different. So I came across this home by Donna Ashworth and I loved her choice of words when describing the new year.
So I wanted to read them to you here to close out this episode. So she says, why do we start a new year with promises to improve? Who began this tradition of never ending pressure? I say the end of the year should be filled with congratulations for all we survived. And I say a new year should start with promises to be kinder to ourselves, to understand better just how much we can bear as humans on this exhausting treadmill of life.
And if we are to promise more, let’s pledge to rest before our bodies force us. Let’s pledge to stop and drink in life as it happens. Let’s pledge to strip away a layer of perfection to reveal the flawed and wondrous humanity we truly are inside. Why start another year gifted to us on this earth with demands on our already overtrained humanity, when we could be learning to accept that we were always supposed to be imperfect.
And that is where the beauty lives actually. And if we can only find that beauty, we would also find peace. I hope those words touched you just as much as they touched me this year. Your goals that you want to create in 2023 are available to you without hustle. They are available to you in learning how to more partner with yourself and be kind to yourself this year. Alright, so happiest of New Year, my friends. Here’s 2 20 23.
Can you believe it? I’m so excited to be your coach this year, whether that’s in my practice or on this podcast, and help you create the relationship with food and body that you truly deserve. All right, I’ll see you next week.