It’s common for women who enter my coaching practice to believe they’re stuck with food.
They quickly learn exactly how, rather than being stuck, they’re unintentionally keeping themselves stuck with their current eating habits.
When you’re able to understand how you’re keeping yourself stuck, it gives you the power to take full responsibility for your eating habits now. Which is necessary to create the long-term results with food and body that you want.
In this episode, I’m sharing the most common ways I see women keeping themselves stuck with food, and what it will take to move past these tendencies to create the eating habits you’ve always wanted.
Hello there. How’s it going this week? Today, I want to talk with you about something very important, which is how you’re keeping yourself stuck with food and with the progress you want to be making with healthy eating. This is going to bring up so much awareness for you and this is something I see a lot so I’m excited to share that with you today. But before we get into it, I want to talk directly to those of you who are interested in seeing massive transformation from this work. Those of you who are very much committed to creating a completely new experience with food in your life where it feels under your control and simple. If that’s you, listen up. So, I think it’s helpful for those of you who genuinely want this result, whether it’s in my practice or elsewhere, to understand the energy that’s really necessary for you to create a result like this and create that result with food for the rest of your life. Because there are two types of energies I see coming into this work, and as the coach, I can always tell when someone has the energy where the result is inevitable, and when they’re having the energy that will keep them stuck. Sometimes, what I see, is when we’ve tried so many things to make this work and change our eating habits, I notice many of us can end up with this wishy-washy energy with this work where we’ll think “Oh, sure that’d be nice” just because we don’t believe it’s truly possible at our core. As in, we don’t truly believe that if we take specific action and take this work to the deepest level, that we’ll actually create an entirely new experience of our life with food. We don’t see this work at that magnitude. It’s more of “Oh yeah. That would be really nice”. That wishy-washy energy. Most of you, including myself in the past, will know what this energy is like. It’s just representative of you wanting the result, but you don’t genuinely believe it’s possible for you. So it creates this fluffy energy around it. And, speaking of keeping yourself stuck, this is one of the biggest ways I see this come up for some of you. Which, by the way, this is natural, but to give you perspective, there’s an expectation I personally have of the energy my clients come into my practice with. Because it’s of utmost importance to me as the coach that the client has everything they need to be massively successful. It’s really necessary that they don’t have this wishy-washy energy. Because I know as the coach that their energy will determine the success they have. In my practice, they gain all of the tools and everything they need to create the result, but the energy will determine how they take action on it. So, to deepen your perspective of this a bit, I find that there’s two types of energies that you can have with this work. Neither of them are wrong, but there is one type of energy that I know as the coach will not create the result with food long-term, and there’s one type of energy that I know will allow someone to create that result long-term and make those changes for life. Which, by the way, I’ve been in both of these energies, so nothing has gone wrong if you find yourself in either one, you just want to be aware of it. So, the energy that won’t create the result long-term are the individuals with that wishy-washy energy. You probably know what I’m talking about here. I think we’ve all experienced this. It’s where you’ll see changing your eating habits like a fun lifestyle thing that would be nice, so what I see, and this is very honest you guys, what I see is that they may love me, they love to learn, and they love this podcast for example, so maybe they think “Oh, Kat’s so adorable I love her, maybe doing her program would be so fun”. Just kind of this wishy-washy energy a bit. And there’s nothing wrong with this. This is great. I love every single one of you. This is fine. Nothing has gone wrong here. But if you’re looking to create this massive transformation in your life at the deepest level, this energy will not work for you. It just will not happen. Because notice how fluffy this energy is around this work. And this will show up in how you take action with this work. In my program, for example, this is not the energy that my clients go through the process with. They’re not seeing this work as a hobby or like something that “would be nice”. They are focused on taking action on a solution to guarantee that result for themselves. They are there to change their damn life. Truly. That is the magnitude of this work. So, I very much encourage you to think about it. Why do you want this result with food? Why do you want to remove your food struggles? Really? What would actually be possible if you were able to remove all of your food struggles forever? If you could know exactly the actions with food you needed to take feel satisfied and to reach your ideal weight long-term? If you were able to have eating healthy feel enjoyable where it doesn’t require more effort from you? What would be possible in your life? How would it look different? And I mention this briefly, maybe not so briefly here today, because I want you all to really get clear on the weight of this work for you if this is a result you really want. I will say, there are so many of you who come here to this podcast and to my coaching, already aware of your deeper rooted reasons for wanting to make this change, and these are the women who show up to my program and they are massively successful with this work. They are there to change their lives completely. Their focus isn’t on me, it’s completely on them and on getting this result. And, of course, this transformation is very serious business, but we do still have some fun along the way. You know this if you’re my client. It’s not all doom and gloom. It’s not bootcamp. But some of you just haven’t spent enough time here really considering what would change if you prioritized this, stopped treating it like a hobby, and understood the magnitude of this work on your life. And I want to offer you to spend a bit more time here so you can make use of this work at the highest level. Because every single one of you is capable of solving for your food struggles completely, no matter where you’re starting from. The difference is if you see making this change as something that “would be nice and fun” or as something that is a “no brainer because you are deciding to live your life at the most fulfilled, amazing level”. Not just with food, but in all areas. Alright? So, just a little mindset shift I wanted to make you aware of today. And it was a very honest one, but you all are here so I can tell you what works so I hope it resonates and gave you a new perspective. Also, it is the end of 2021, can you actually believe it – so crazy, and many of you are wanting to create this result in the New Year. So, if you’re fired up right now and you’re clear on why this is a result you absolutely want and are ready to create, my program is for you. It was designed to get you there and this if you’re ready from that type of energy, this indicates to me that you’re ready for that transformation and to become someone new with food. So, if you’re ready for that result, and you think Own Your Eating Habits will be for you, you can apply at katrentas.com/coaching and we’ll ensure you’re a perfect fit for the program before we get to work. Alright, now let’s get into the rest of the episode. Actually, this shpeal does apply to what we’re talking about today, which is keeping yourself stuck. Now, like everything else on this podcast, it’s really convenient because I was the expert on keeping myself stuck. I was the queen, so you’re in good hands here. And really, very seriously, I did keep myself stuck with food for years and I really, really know what to look for in my clients when they’re keeping themselves stuck. And there’s going to be a number of ways that you’re likely unintentionally doing that now. Which sounds like bad news, but knowing exactly how you’re keeping yourself stuck is the best news you can ever get. Because it’s under your direct control. The secret is your eating habits were always under your direct control, we’ve just been taught to distract ourselves from this and look for external solutions. So many of you right now likely feel that there’s a lot of external things that are keeping you stuck with food. Which, of course, if we’re believing this leaves us totally out of control, where we’re a victim of those circumstances. And this is never true. No outside circumstance can keep you stuck with food. It’s just not possible. But, it’s natural for your brain to go here. So, it’s common to believe that what’s keeping you stuck from healthy eating is other people, so maybe you’re blaming your husband, partner, or family for eating the way they do and they’re sabotaging your progress. Maybe you believe time is keeping you stuck, so you’re blaming the hours in the day or your job for keeping you so busy. This is a very common one that comes up with my clients. It’s my favorite. Maybe you blame the food. This is so common, right? Diets have taught you that the foods are the problem. That the foods are what’s causing you to overeat them, because you’re just “so addicted and have no control”, right? You’ll also blame your body, I see this come up very much where we’ll blame our hunger or how pleasurable we find food. We’ll think that is what’s sabotaging our eating habits and keeping us stuck in our old ways. And here’s the thing here. I’m never in the business of convincing any of you what to believe. It’s totally safe for you to keep blaming external circumstances on the way you eat. But, if you keep blaming things that are outside of your control on the way you eat, then your eating habits, as a result, will always be out of your control. So, that’s just to say it’s totally fine if you have a belief now that something outside of you is what’s keeping you stuck with food. But, just be willing to question it because notice how non-useful that is. This is the first way you will keep yourself stuck with your old eating habits. You blame external circumstances, things outside of you, for the way you eat. And your brain loves to transfer this responsibility, it’s fine. But notice it and be onto it. The second way I see you all keep yourself stuck is by indulging your sad food story. We all have one, right? Consider your most self-pitying story that you have with food. And, to be clear, in no way am I here to invalidate your emotional experience around your food struggles. They are always valid. They’re not easy by any means. But there’s a big difference between noticing the negative thoughts you have about food and your body, versus completely indulging in them and adding to those thoughts. So, for instance, maybe you have the single belief “I don’t have control with food”. That’s totally fine and to be expected. But then, what so many of you do, is you add to this sad story and provide more evidence to yourself that this is the truth. You beat yourself over the head over and over again with this thinking. So, this means a lot of self-pity comes in. You’ll have the single belief “I don’t have control with food” and then you’ll proceed to come up with all of the sad reasons why. “I just can’t be around certain foods”, “I’ve never had control with food before”, “Something is wrong with me”, “I can’t be fixed”. My goodness, you guys. We all have found ourselves here, but this will keep you so very stuck. Because when you’re indulging in this self-pity you’re digging yourself into this whole where you’re further solidifying the belief that “you don’t have control with food”. Or, whatever other beliefs you have about yourself and food that do not serve you. You’re solidifying this identity. This is something you can stop doing. You cannot stop base layer beliefs from coming into your mind, but you can stop being a victim of them and beating yourself over the head with them. Another way I see you keep yourself stuck is trying to positive away your negative human experiences with food and body. So, for instance let’s say you believe, “I hate my body”, right? Let’s say that’s something that genuinely comes up in your brain. It’s okay, by the way. We all have ugly thoughts as humans. Nothing has gone wrong. What you’ll often try to do is argue with those not-so-pretty thoughts, because you’re thinking that something has gone wrong when they come up for you. You’ll then try to convince yourself to be more positive about your body, for example, or food. You’ll try to think, “No. I should never think that. I love my body. It does so much for me.” Yada, yada, yada. You’ll find, and I won’t have to tell most of you this, that this makes you feel ten times worse. Because no matter how much you try to out-positive a negative thought, it doesn’t work. The resistance increases and the negative feeling becomes more heightened. I say this to my clients all the time, but we don’t have to be in the business of BS-ing your brain. Enough with the forced positivity. It’s extremely invalidating to you and those thoughts that need to be managed. This will keep you stuck. Another way that positivity keeps you stuck is when you’re trying to believe, what I call, “pretty and useless” thoughts about your eating habits, that ultimately do not serve you and keep you stuck. So, this comes up all the time for my clients. When we work together we very quickly gather the math of their thoughts. So, we go through a process that allows us to see exactly what they’re believing that’s keeping them stuck with food. Once they have awareness of this, it’s so interesting because we all do this at first, they will try to believe different thoughts that sound very pretty, to replace the negative thoughts that they’re currently believing. So, for instance, I recently had a client who believed “I’ll never make these changes”. Which is totally safe. This is normal. Our natural human beliefs don’t need to stall your progress. But, rather than just meet herself where she was at with her beliefs, she tried to convince herself of beliefs such as, “This is a journey and I need to trust the journey, because it takes time to change. I’m only doing my best right now”. Very fluffy thoughts that aren’t useful. Firstly, they’re not useful because nobody believes this crap. The journey and doing our best? F that. We don’t care about that and we don’t need to pretend that we do. These thoughts will never be useful. The second reason this isn’t useful, is you’re going to notice positive, very pretty stories you’re having with food and changing your eating habits, that keep you stuck. They sound really nice on paper, maybe it could be a Pinterest quote, but it won’t allow you to make the changes you want. You won’t take action from. The belief “this is a journey and it takes time?” I need to do a whole episode on this, but this is BS. It doesn’t need to take more time. Sometimes it does, but it doesn’t need to take more time to move forward, make progress, and see new results. That is a pretty and useless story that you’re having to counteract the negative, uncomfortable beliefs you’re having with food. It feels a lot easier to convince ourselves that “This just takes time” rather than facing the fact that we’re really believing “I’ll never make these changes”. Not useful. It will keep you stuck. The last, most common way I see you keeping yourself stuck with the changes with food you want to be making, is that you’re believing your doubts and fears. Right now, if you don’t have the eating habits you want and you’ve struggled to create them because of diet culture, trying quick-fix methods, restriction – if that’s been your experience, you will not believe that you’ll make these changes long-term. You will not believe that it’s truly possible for you to have life-long control with food. You will not believe that you can become a naturally healthy eater. So many of you will indulge this thinking and let these types of beliefs keep you stuck. I say this with so much love, because I have been there, but so many of you come to me saying, “I just don’t think it’s possible for me” and you’ll have this really personal, sad story why. And we all need to know that we’re not special. Of course you’re believing this. Your brain creates beliefs based on evidence, and thus far, you’ve given your brain evidence that you don’t follow through with healthy eating. Kind of makes sense why you’re not believing it’s possible. Now, this brain doesn’t have all the context. It’s not paying attention to the evidence that you’ve done a lot of crap that was never meant to work for you long-term. You’ve tried restriction, diets – things that aren’t natural. But your brain is only scanning for evidence now as to why nothing will work for you. Because it wants to keep you safe emotionally. It doesn’t want to try something else and feel the emotional weight of disappointment, shame – whatever emotion you’re really trying to avoid. But, all of you need to know, that if you indulge this thinking and choose this story that doesn’t believe changes are possible for you, you’ll get to keep that story. You will get to keep that experience. To make changes, you can’t wait for your brain to be convinced that this is possible, because deep down you won’t believe it. Why would you? You need to take action and convince your brain with evidence that it is possible. Which takes time. It takes time to unlearn the belief system, “I don’t have control with food” or “This won’t work for me”. Just to give you all perspective, I have women who are very successful in my program. So, they gain control with food, they’ve really mastered how to manage their emotions, they’re losing weight without feeling like they’re putting in a ton of effort– their results are insane. And they still haven’t yet convinced their brain 100% that it’s possible. Because we’re talking about a lifetime of doubt. Your brain has been scanning for evidence of this belief for your entire life. So, let’s not wait for that brain to unlearn that belief before we completely change your eating habits, okay? We all need to hear this I think. So, alright, my friends. All of these things are ways you can be keeping yourself stuck with the eating habits you have now. And these are all survival tactics from your brain. Nothing has gone wrong. But, you’ll have to not indulge in these things to move forward and make the changes you want to make. And also know that so many don’t want to take responsibility for keeping themselves stuck. Because taking responsibility often comes with emotions because of your current thinking. You may experience shame or inadequacy when you acknowledge that your eating habits are your responsibility. But why wouldn’t you want to be responsible for your results with food? Really consider that. Why not? I think it’s worth feeling some hard things for you to be in control with food and your body. Notice where you’re keeping yourself stuck. Alright, my lovely friend. Thanks for hanging with me today and I’ll talk to you next week.
Hey there! I'm Kat Rentas. I’m a certified life and health coach for women who believes that eating healthy should feel simple and sustainable. I teach hundreds of high-performing women to change their eating habits without the overwhelm. Want to change your eating habits in a way that is aligned with your needs, preferences, and goals? You’re in the right place. You can read my full story here.