Hello, my dear friends, welcome back to the Healthy Eating for Busy Women podcast. My name is Kat. I am your host and today we’re going to talk about mindset maturity, which I know sounds very high brow and elevated. But what I really mean by this is […0.4s] in bettering your eating habits, going through long term weight loss and really solidifying this lifestyle into your day to day, you have to learn how to manage your mindset.And there is an element of that that involves […0.4s] maturing how you approach your thoughts and emotions. So I’m really gonna give you guys a deep dive on that today. This is gonna be […0.5s] kind of advanced, areas of work and this is an example of what we focus on in my programs.But I really wanted to offer it to you guys today because I know it’s gonna help so many of you. But just keep that in mind, this is a bit more of an extensive topic.So we’re gonna get […0.4s] really deep into what is gonna stop you from building healthy habits and […0.5s] how that will come up in terms of how you’re approaching your mindset.Now a quick housekeeping announcement. Enrollment is now closed, you guys, for the forever body mastermind. So the enrollment window is […0.6s] closed at this time.But for those of you who are in and you have enrolled, I cannot wait to meet you and coach you in person. It is going to be such an impactful time together, and I cannot wait for you to see what is possible in the next six months after we meet in person. It’s gonna be incredible.But for those of you who did miss out this round, just make sure you join the waitlist for the next round in the description. I’m gonna drop it in there. And you will get all the information you need to prepare for that, so you don’t miss out next time. You’ll have everything you need.So again, let’s talk about mindset maturity and what this means is, it means proper awareness of the thoughts you’re thinking, the emotions you’re feeling, and how you react to those human experiences.If this is something that you do not have awareness of, it’s going to be very difficult for you to create long term results in your life.Not just with your eating habits, weight loss, health transformation, but in any area. You will need to understand how your brain operates and how to work with it, so you’re not working against it.And the thing about mindset maturity as we’re calling it here today, it’s not something you’re born with, and it’s not […0.5s] a characteristic that you just have or don’t have. There’s no unicorns here.It’s just a skill that anyone has to build. And we’re not taught how to do this in school, right? There’s not, a strategic process. We were given for doing this at a young age. So that’s what I’m here to help you do is to give you the strategy to build this for yourself.And so I wanna talk about that. And like I said, when you enter my membership program, that’s the entry point for this work and the very first thing you learn how to do is manage your mind.And so what this looks like in my programs is learning how to see your daily thought patterns. You begin acknowledging the emotions you feel on a day to day basis. You start seeing how you react to certain emotions now.And then you’re able to understand […0.7s] why you don’t have the results you want along with what will be necessary to create them. There is a way to mature in your mindset management and what we call thought work in our membership community.And what we talk about often in our membership community with the women doing this work is how they can learn more about their mindset and their thoughts and then they keep themselves stuck with it.And I wanna talk about that today. This is again a bit more of a zoom out episode, a little more advanced, but I want to share a snippet with you here, so you can really understand what’s holding you back.And here’s what holds so many women back, including women in my program. And this is something they have to overcome. What ends up holding them back is when they start noticing the thoughts and the feelings that they’re having, and they start working on their mindset, and then what happens is they see that as a problem that they have to solve […0.4s] before taking action.So where we waste time again is we solve for our thoughts and our emotions will try to before taking action.So let me explain. What will happen is as a human being, you will have thoughts which are sentences in your head, and you will have emotions or feelings which are vibrations in your body.And we need to be very aware of what thoughts were having and what emotions were having because those are the things that drive your actions. And so you need to develop awareness of that regularly when you are looking to make a change.Now, when you start doing this, maybe you’re doing this now, you journal, you dump your thoughts on paper, you are aware of how you’re feeling day to day. And that’s something you are trying to work on.But a really big mistake people make when they’re working on their mindset and trying to reach health goals is they’ll have their thoughts and feelings out on the paper, in the journal. And then they will look at thoughts and feelings as if it is something they need to fix.So there’s this binary that’s often in wellness culture that there’s positive and negative thoughts, there’s right or wrong manners of thinking. And this can actually keep you very stuck because you will then have this fixing and solving mentality with human experiences.So I promise you guys this is gonna make more sense. I’m gonna get into it. So here’s what happens for a lot of […0.6s] my women when They’ll do their self coaching, and let’s say, I’ll give a general example. They notice they’re thinking I’m not […0.5s] worthy and they feel inadequate, or maybe you will notice the thought, I failed and you feel shame, or maybe you notice you’re having the thought, I shouldn’t have eaten that way, I should have known better and you feel guilt.So you see your thoughts and your feelings, and then what happens is you put this on the table, or you look at it in your journal, and then you pointed it and say, this, here is a problem right here. This is something that I need to get over. This is something I need to fix.And that is the relationship you will have to your thoughts […0.5s] and feelings. You’ll think, I shouldn’t be thinking this, I shouldn’t be feeling this way, this is negative of me, I’m being mean to myself, I am ashamed, I am guilty. And you will attach your identity to these emotional experiences.No, I want you guys to hear me carefully. What’s happening here? When you witness your mindset, your emotions, your mentality of where you’re at right now. Is you end up layering more thoughts and emotions onto what you’re witnessing, because now you’re showing your relationship to your human experiences.And if this sounds complicated, here’s just what this means. It means that right now you are having judgments of what it means for you to have certain thoughts and emotions. You make it mean something when you notice a thought, and you notice an emotion within yourself, and then you write a whole story about that.And many of you are having really sad, negative problematic stories about the fact that you’re a human who has certain thoughts and certain feelings.And I want you to check in right now and establish whether you believe that certain thoughts and feelings are morally good, and if others are morally […0.5s] bad.So do you have a sad, negative outlook or story when you notice shame, inadequacy, sadness, doubt? Do you pity yourself or others if you notice emotions in them?So how often do we tell […0.5s] our friends, or if we hear a friend say, I just don’t feel good in my body right now and they feel shameful, say, no, you shouldn’t feel that way. You should feel amazing.And what we’re doing despite our best intentions is we’re invalidating and creating an avoidant relationship with very natural real human emotions.So I’ll give you guys an example for myself. I so often kept myself stuck in mindset work because what I did is I would start building awareness, and I would notice thoughts like, I don’t like my body, […0.6s] and I would feel shame or inadequacy.So I would have that down on paper, let’s say, right. And then I would do the same thing that so many of you are doing, or I would look at that and say, oh my goodness, how negative I’m being terrible to myself. I’ve gotta clean this up. I’ve gotta think more positively.And guess what happened, you guys? I took no action on the health results I wanted to create. I didn’t create any changes. I didn’t take any responsibility and get up from that journal and those entries and actually change my results with my body.What I did was I judged the fact that I was thinking that and feeling that so much that I looked at it as a problem that needed to be fixed first before I took action to change my results in my life.And here’s the thing, we’re not saying that emotions like this. We should just be positive about it and be okay with it.But this is where we need to understand that emotions were meant to be processed, right. So […0.6s] I’m gonna give you guys an example of this, an analogy, […0.5s] but the point here is that no thought or emotion is inherently negative or morally wrong unless you have a thought about it, […0.4s] right?So when you notice thoughts or emotions about your body, about your eating habits, about your health journey, nothing about it coming up for you is morally wrong or means there’s a quote unquote problem until you have an opinion or story.And if you make the presence of any thought or emotion […0.4s] wrong, then you will waste time trying to solve for something that is not a problem, and it’s gonna keep you procrastinating on your health goals.So what we ideally want to happen, and this is a skill, is you want to notice any thought and feeling in your health journey, and allow that emotional experience in a healthy way while being able to take action on your goals.What we don’t wanna happen, and what’s probably happening now is where we notice a thought and a feeling, say it’s negative, and then try and solve for it being thereby not processing that feeling or taking action on our goals, which keeps us stuck and sad and unhappy.Now many of you are stalling your results unnecessarily, because you’re putting your thoughts and feelings on the table like I said, and you’re saying, what the heck is this, […0.6s] this is a problem.So a lot of my clients do this too, and they know it, we’ve all done it, where they’ll come to me and they say, cat, […0.5s] I have perfect awareness of what I’m thinking and feeling.And I’ll say, great, let’s hear it. And they’ll say, well, I just don’t believe that I can lose the weight or I can change, and I’m feeling doubt. And I’ve been exactly where all of you are. So I get it, but this is where I look at them. And […0.6s] haha.Not because I’m not compassionate, but because I want them to see that they’re thinking it’s a problem, right? And they’re like, oh, well, I don’t know what do I do with this. And there’s where we start to see that there’s a belief system that, that should be, quote unquote, cleaned up.Do you guys see what I mean? This is gonna be a little different for everyone, but I want you to see where this applies to you. So right now you’re pointing at it and saying, what the heck is this?This is a problem. This is so negative when you see your thoughts and feelings […0.4s] in your journey. And this is a very silly analogy, but I want you to imagine you’re at this table, you put that thought and feeling on the table and let’s say you think I’m a failure and you feel shame.You put that on the table and then I sit down right next to you and I also put the thought I’m a failure and shame on the table as well. So we have the same thing and then you turn to me and you say, do you see this? This is terrible. You’re afraid, maybe because what does it mean?That thoughts there, you’re frustrated because why is this thought still on the table after so many years? You’re confused because how do you even solve for this thought and feeling?Maybe you pity yourself because you still think that it’s so sad […0.5s] that you have this thought and feeling. And I want you to imagine, for the sake of this analogy, you look over at me who has the same thing and I’m just like, yep, […0.5s] there it is.And I nod my head and I leave the table and I get to work on my goals, knowing that shame is just what needs to be felt today as a human being who sometimes will have comfortable and uncomfortable human experiences, not indulging the shame, not judging it.I don’t add thoughts to it, but I let my body digest it in the way it’s meant to.Now I’m using myself and you as an arbitrary analogy here. I have had to do all the same work, my love, and I am not perfect at it, but I just want you to see this comparison of […0.4s] how you’re approaching your mindset right now and thinking, oh, this needs to look shiny and sparkly before I take action, and that’s what’s gonna get me taking action.So many of you are making your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings the reason why you don’t take action and you’re placing responsibility on them. No, my love, the understanding needs to be that you’re able to notice them and then understand that you can take action with discomfort.And something I’ll say as well because this is a very important disclaimer, there will be moments when the severity of the stress or the feeling feel so high that you feel like it’s just all encompassing and you can’t.So in my membership, the very first thing you learn is how to lower stress, which means in some cases lowering the severity of your emotional triggers. So there is a step one to this. There is a manner of creating an experience of your emotions that feels more tolerable.But the eventual stuck point that people reach is after they’ve lowered the stress and Learned how to be aware of these emotions and it doesn’t feel so severe. They’re still using the presence of them as a reason to not get up from the table and do the things that create the result. Does this make sense?What I mean? I say this to you all because too many of you listening are gonna be my people, and you’re gonna be intellectual.You love to learn, you’re very intelligent and where this can be a problem actually is we can intellectualize something for the rest of our lives and never actually take action on it. And by the way, this is a big reason why a lot of y’all do not have the results you want. I’ve been there too.We’re just intellectualizing and learning without actually creating the result. This can happen with mindset work. And so I know you guys today I’m really giving you an in depth look at how this comes up. If some of it didn’t register for now, it’s okay, right? Don’t, overthink this and be like, well, this sounds a little complicated.I need to know how this works completely. No, if there’s one or two things you took away from this episode today, and you’re like, oh, here’s the relationship I’m having to my mindset, and I’m using that relationship of negativity and judgment towards my thoughts and emotions, and it’s keeping me stuck. This episode did its job.So even if you take one or two things away, and it helped amazing. But if you really want to become master these skills and do this work where you leave no stone left unturned, get inside on your eating habits membership.This is your very first step to lifelong transformation. This is where all my ladies start. And so get in there today, start this process, […0.5s] you will be well taken care of and know everything you’re supposed to be doing. So go to cat runtas dot com forward slash membership, join our community. You will begin mastering mindset work correctly step by step. So you’re no longer keeping yourself stuck.I love you all so much, my friends. Thank you so much for being here each week and being here with me today. And I will talk to you next week.