Hello my friends. Welcome back to the podcast this week. As usual, I am so happy that you are here. So today I want to talk about a very necessary topic that I honestly see not being talked about enough when it comes to this work. And what I want to talk about today is the concept of you truly and wholeheartedly prioritizing yourself and putting yourself first, your wellbeing first, your results first.
So you can eat healthy and lose weight in the way you want to so you can feel fulfilled in your life. And really what I tend to see is a lot of us will have different reasons for why we want to lose weight, why we want to eat healthier, and they tend to be kind of these surface level reasons for doing this work. But what I find is that most of us as women aren’t really giving ourselves permission to make changes with food, reach our ideal weight just because we want to prioritize our wellbeing and we want to start putting ourselves first and we want to put ourselves at the level that we see other people, our partners, our coworkers, our family members.
And so this is what I want to dive into today. I want to dive into what may be stopping you now from prioritizing yourself, why it is necessary and non-negotiable for you to get the results you want and how you can start doing this now without everything else in your life being sacrificed. That is the big thing, my friends. You can prioritize yourself and put yourself first and the rest of your world will benefit the people you love will benefit, your work will benefit.
So that is really what I want to dive into today. And I’m going to be really, really transparent with all of you. I am constantly seeing wise, resourceful women delaying their results that they want with food and body simply because they believe that they will get to it when they have the time. So they’ll get to it when they have less responsibilities.
They’ll get to it when life is less crazy. They’ll get to it when they complete that big project at work. They’ll get to it when their kids go off to school. I would love for you to sit with this and consider what is your, I’ll get to it story. We all have one. . Mine was definitely time. I was always telling myself, I will get to these changes when I have more time. And that story never stopped being relevant. I always never had seemingly enough time.
And I want you to find your, I’ll get to it narrative and story that your brain likes to go to. And I want you to observe how it will probably always be available to you in some way, shape, or form. And we just want to acknowledge that here from a really honest place, if it really was a time problem, you would have already gotten to it by now.
If it was really an energy problem, you would’ve already gotten to it by now, right? And I think it’s so much more useful to be honest about these things with ourselves. And why this is so important to me that I make you aware of this is if I’m being really honest, I know it’s likely that most women with this mindset will never make the permanent changes with food and body that they want, that they are so capable of, right?
As in eating healthy for life in a way that feels natural, losing the weight permanently. It is so readily available to all of you. And I see women just leaving those results on the nightstand because of these beliefs that they will get to it and take hold of those results when they have the time or when they have the space or when they have the energy.
And it breaks my heart. And this is why I want to be really transparent here today, because you, my friend, are more than capable of creating the results with food and body that you want. You are capable of solving your food and body struggles. You can create those results no matter what circumstances are going on in your life. And I’m going to be honest, I get a lot of pushback on this from the moms, from the CEOs, from all of you who have things in your life that call your attention.
And a lot of you will spend time selling me on your stories, why this work isn’t accessible to you. And I wanna say, with all of the love in the world, I will never buy what you’re selling here, right? Because I know that you making these changes doesn’t require more time. It doesn’t require more energy.
You don’t, don’t have to sacrifice things in your life to put yourself first and make these changes, putting yourself first and prioritizing the changes you want to make. Do not take away from the things that matter to you. So I’m really hoping that by the end of this episode, you can start to question this a little bit for yourself so you can start to support yourself with reasons why these results are available to you now and it’s safe for you to prioritize yourself.
So that’s what I really want to sell you on today, and I always want you to know the truth of what it will take to permanently create change, right? I always want to give you all, all of the reality here. And the reality is that you will have to make a decision to prioritize yourself to put the changes you want to make first.
It doesn’t mean you won’t get to the rest of the things. It just means that this does need to be your priority. And with that, here are some key things I really want you to know, and I’m going to go through each point so it really sinks in. And the first thing I want you to know is that there will never be a good, convenient time to put yourself first. There will never be a convenient time to prioritize healthy eating or weight loss because especially as women, this is so important.
We are heavily conditioned to put others’ needs at the expense of our own. You have an entire society that would agree with you that now is not a good time. And similar to what I said before, if you sell me the story that these changes aren’t available to you, I will not buy it from so much love and care for the results that I know are available to you because you have an entire world that would agree with you, that as a woman, you are not to be prioritized right now and that the world cannot function if you do that.
And I want you to consider breaking this narrative for yourself from empowerment. Because the reality is, in this world as a woman, putting yourself first is a rebellious act, right? Think about it. When are we ever told to put ourselves first before our family, before our kids, before our jobs, before any of it. And we’re not saying that these things are things you want to sacrifice, of course not, right?
You want to show up as the mother. You want to be as the CEO or worker or employee that you want to be. All of those things are things you want, but who told us that we can’t have all of that and meet our needs and put our needs first so we can better show up for all of the other things that matter to us. So with that, I know that was a bit of a rant, but I really wanted to offer you that perspective.
The second thing I really want you to know is that there will always be things seemingly in the way for you to lose weight and eat healthy now and start creating permanent change. There will always be perceived obstacles, reasons why it is not readily available to you right now. So more work obligations, parenting duties, relationship demands. Again, it’s so important as women, we are heavily conditioned to give and not receive.
So what I find for many of my clients and myself in the past 100% is there is this resistance to receiving the results we want in our lives to receiving ease to receiving care from ourselves. So much of the work with my clients is their resistance to letting food and weight loss be easier for them, which is so interesting for us, right? Of course, we want it to be easy. We want it to be accessible.
So then why do we have resistance to taking the results we want or creating the results we want Now because we have this programmed belief that we should have to work hard to earn those results or that we need to put everything else first, and putting ourselves first is not accessible. What happens is we give all of ourselves without question and the world will take without question. More will always be asked of you, whether that’s at your work, your marriage, from your kids.
And this is okay, my friends. We’re not here to break the world that you live in. It’s just the understanding that the external circumstances of your life, the people, the demands likely won’t change more, will keep being asked of you. And what I’m really saying is you are never going to receive blatant permission from external sources to put yourself first and to make decisions that prioritize your needs and your wellbeing.
We have to give ourselves that permission. And this is a growth area for so many of us because if you are like I was in the past, I never was the one giving myself permission to put my needs first, say no, give myself time to prioritize my wellbeing. I was always waiting for permission and it never came. And I want you to think about this in a way that applies to you because you have your own circumstances in your life, things that matter to you.
And I’m not here to convince you out of those things things at all. I want you to start looking for a window as to how you can start giving yourself permission to prioritize the changes you want to make while also maintaining those areas of your life. And that brings me to the third thing I want you to keep in mind.
And this is the most important thing that so many do not expect with this work. Putting yourself first in the way that is necessary to make these changes will feel very, very uncomfortable. It’s going to feel hard for many of you because you believe internally based on your conditioning, that to put yourself first means other things you care about will be sacrificed. And I really want to offer you that this is a common misconception that is developed in our minds as women, that we have to sacrifice our needs for the needs of other people or other things that matter to us.
And I want you to consider this concept when you don’t prioritize yourself. So that just means meeting your needs now. So meeting your needs means learning to eat healthy in a way that feels good to you, learning to lose weight in a way that makes you feel most comfortable and healthy.
When you don’t meet your basic needs and prioritize your health and wellbeing, it means you’ll be pouring from a cup that has a limited amount to give, right? So think of yourself as a cup that pours liquid into all of the other cups that matter to you in your life. So maybe one cup is you as a mother, maybe another cup is you in your marriage. Maybe the other cup is you owning your own business or your career. When you are not filling your own cup, you’re just focused on pouring everything you have into the other cups and you always have a limited amount to give.
It’s because you are not filling your own cup and prioritizing your basic needs. And I always want to offer this to all of you. Learning to eat healthy in a sustainable way is a basic need as a human learning to reach your ideal weight in a way that is permanent is a basic need.
As a human. We shouldn’t need more time or energy or permission for you to meet your basic needs as a human being. And when we wait for that permission, we won’t fill our own cups. So we’ll be trying to fill all of the other cups that matter to us from a cup that’s always running on empty. And here’s what I really want to sell you on my friends. When you fill your own cup, you prioritize your needs being met as a human.
Everyone and everything else benefits. So all of those other cups that matter to you benefit because here’s what happens. You stop pouring from your cup, and when you focus on filling your own, your cup naturally falls into everyone else’s cup. Think of it like one of those champagne fountains, at a wedding. It just naturally flows. You pour into the cup at the top, that’s you, and it naturally flows into all of the rest.
That cup doesn’t have to put in as much energy or as much work. And I want you to think about this analogy and try to make it more literal for you. What would that look like for you to meet your own needs? So what needs as a human feel like are missing from your life? Maybe that’s eating healthy in a way that feels good to you. Maybe that’s being at your ideal weight. Maybe that’s giving yourself care and space, space and energy back after you’ve spent it.
But just think, where do you feel like your needs are lacking? And if you were able to fill those needs and fill your cup, how would all of the other cups or areas of your life benefit specifically? Really just give yourself space to think about it. There’s no convincing here. We’re not telling you to do less of all of the things that you want to be doing.
I just want you to look at this a bit differently because here’s the thing, when you fill your own cup in this way, not only is this approach kinder to yourself and it’s empowering as women, all those things are great. We love those things, but it’s important to understand that this is the most tactical useful thing you can do to get the results you want. It is the most tactical approach you can take, not only to eat healthy and lose weight, but to show up to the other areas of your life better and more efficiently.
It is the smartest, most effective way to improve all of the areas in your lives. And this concept comes up a lot with the moms I coach, and they really like to spend a lot of time here moving themselves out of the belief that they need permission to put themselves first.
I see my clients go through this process, and they do so much internal work here to get to a place where they continuously teach themselves that putting themselves first benefits, how they show up to their kids, their kids get a different version of them as a mother when they focus on meeting their own needs first. Because for many of my moms that I coach, they start to feel more love for their kids and less resentment. They start to show up with more energy and less exhaustion.
They start to stop making their kids responsible for their emotional wellbeing because they provide it to themselves. Now, y’all, I’m just using motherhood as one example here. You can come up with your own, but just explore this. You do not have to convince yourself, but just explore. How does putting yourself first, even specifically with food and with body benefit, everyone and everything in your life more.
So to summarize the advice I want to offer in today’s episode, firstly, in case I didn’t make it clear, be a rebellious woman in a world that tells you not to put yourself first. I know we can have resistance to it, but this is a rebellious act and we want to start teaching ourselves as women that we can prioritize our needs and show up to the world, right? This is a belief system that we want to start honing in on.
Next, I want you to start giving yourself the permission to prioritize yourself. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission. Start considering how you can gently start giving yourself permission now to prioritize yourself in small ways. It doesn’t have to be big. It can be something as small as when you get home from work. You take five minutes in the car to breathe deeply before you walk into your home with the kids or with your husband or partner, anything, right?
It can be taking a few minutes extra at the end of a shower to have a moment of silence. I don’t care what it is. This is so much less about the tactics of putting yourself first, and it is so much more about the intention you are having when you decide to give yourself permission to put yourself first. When you give yourself this permission, your energy is entirely different when you’re learning to eat healthy and lose weight because now you are doing it for reasons that feel empowering to you rather than reactive.
And the last piece of advice I want to summarize is that please remember, expect that doing this will feel a bit wrong and uncomfortable. We can acknowledge that all of us want the changes we want to make to feel easier. We want to start meeting our needs and prioritizing our wellbeing.
But this is a growth area for so many of us as women, we have to begin slowly teaching ourselves that it is safe for us to do this and that the rest of our results in our lives do benefit from us doing this. All right? So I hope that my spiel today was helpful to you. Take everything that applies here and use it to serve you. And the stuff that doesn’t apply, that’s okay, but I’m always in your corner and you can give yourself the permission to put yourself first. I believe in you and your ability to do that, and I love you so much. All right, I’ll talk to you.