Hello, my dear friend. Welcome back to the Healthy Eating for Busy Women podcast. I am your host, cat rent us.And if you are new, I am thrilled that you are here and you found me in whatever little corner of the podcast world or internet that […0.5s] you happen to stumble upon this podcast on. And I really am committed to helping you see what’s possible when it comes to your health, when it comes to your eating habits, when it comes to […0.4s] losing weight.Because […0.4s] turns out there are a lot of ways whether it’s in our brain or our external world that makes this all seem inaccessible. And I want you to see how accessible it is for you now to make these changes. So I am here […0.5s] to help you.And today we’re going to be talking about a very […0.6s] important topic when it comes to making these changes.And we’re gonna talk about overcoming your resistance to growth. And listen, I know you want to grow, as in, I know you want to create different results with your body, optimal health, things like that.That is not even a question, right? You’re listening to this podcast. You are committed, but what I’m gonna refer to today is our primal resistance to change.This is something that is a function of the human mind. And without really understanding it, having personal awareness and knowing how to move through this, it’s gonna be really tough for you. And you’ll likely notice […0.5s] self sabotaging behaviors happening.So today we’re gonna clear that all up, but I really wanna set the frame for today, so this episode is gonna really apply to you.If you know exactly what to do […0.5s] to lose weight, to you, it feels very logical, you know what needs to happen. You feel like you’ve made some progress, but you notice that you keep falling off track in ways that don’t really make sense to you anymore. You’re like, I know what to do, so why am I not doing it?That is the most mind numbing question I watch my ladies go through, and I have been through when it comes to my health.So if you’re thinking that way, no, you are in good hands here today, and you’re in the right place, cause what I’m gonna talk about is two completely different problems to solve for when it comes to growth in this area.And most of y’all are solving for the wrong 1, all of know. And in case you don’t know, actually if you’re new here, everything I teach you is because of personal experience along with almost a decade of coaching clients through this. So we wanna normalize everything.That’s said here. The purpose of this podcast is to teach you that you are not a special case. You are in good hands, because I have been through all these things, and so have all of the women I have coached to results.So we’re gonna observe this as scientists who are just really curious about what makes us tick. So here are the two different problems to solve for.So problem number one, which is where we all need to start in order to eat healthy and lose weight sustainably. We have to start a process of skill building.So right now, if you are not eating healthy consistently or losing weight long term, there are skills that you need to learn that you have not Learned yet, 100%.So when you join my process, for example, right, you will learn the skill of regulating stress, processing emotions, healing your body cues, so you can actually pay attention to them and honor them. You will learn how to self coach.So these are all skills that anyone can learn. They are logical, teachable, solvable, and this is where you need to start. And then another problem comes in because actually […0.4s] a spoiler alert, it’s not just about scale building, although that is a part of it.That’s more the logical side. The next problem we need to solve for is success […0.5s] resistance. It’s resistance to your growth and resistance to the amazing changes you actually do want to make.And this is why, my friends, you know what to do, but you’re not doing it. And here’s the thing that happens. Women join my process and they learn how to master self coaching. They stop emotionally eating, overeating all the things, and they will lose weight.And when you join my process, what’s interesting is these things work right away. You will notice results quickly. And then what happens is the primal primitive brain resists success, so it will resist going somewhere that you’ve never been.So for some of my ladies, this is the last 10 pounds. However, many pounds, it’s all arbitrary, but it’s just going further than maybe you’ve ever been before. And this is where you will reach a point where it feels the most painful, cause you’re like, I really do know what to do, but I’m not doing it anymore. I know how to not overeat. I know how to stop emotional eating.That’s where my clients get to and they’re like, but wait, I hit a point where I choose not to do it even though it’s right there. I want you guys to know who this applies to. This is normal, it’s just a different problem.First, there’s the skill building, which is highly logical. Anyone can do it, right. And then there’s the success resistance, which a breakthrough needs to happen here to overcome this resistance to becoming someone new. What your brain will offer a lot of you here is that you’re just very confused. So this is where a lot of y’all, which again, I’ve been here, will convince yourselves I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s going wrong.I don’t know. And here’s the thing, you do know what to do, you’re just not doing it. And the purpose of this isn’t to shame ourselves or beat ourselves up.It’s to acknowledge that what is happening isn’t logical. It’s emotional resistance to becoming new. This is emotional identity based. It is personal to you and it is solvable, but this is solved from deeper level coaching identity work. It’s no longer about a process or skill building.So if you’re asking why am I still not doing this, why am I […0.4s] not taking the steps to lose weight even though I have the capacity to?It’s probably not a skills problem, my friend. If you’re just starting out, I wanna say, and you do not know the skills of emotional regulation, stress regulation, things like that. That is where all my lady start, get inside the membership and do that now. You’re gonna see results quickly.And then once you maintain that scale building, you are gonna get to the second phase where you overcome this resistance to continuing your success all the way to the result you want. Because here’s what resistance actually […0.4s] feels like. And this is a pretty, universal phase of progress.It’s one that happens at different times for different people, but it will come up at some point. Resistance actually won’t feel obvious or dramatic […0.5s] at first.So how it’s gonna show up like I mentioned, is you’re kind of just confused, you feel distracted, overwhelmed. You might feel yourself being less committed than you were in the beginning of a process.So you’re gonna have maybe this drop in motivation. You’re kind of losing interest in something that, works, but you’re like, why am I not continuing to do it? This just keeps happening where I don’t show up and I don’t know why. So this is not you failing or being lazy or quote unquote, not being committed.This is you hitting a growth edge and you’ve come up against the primitive part of your brain that resists […0.6s] change. So this isn’t surface level where you’re just falling off track and, you’re not […0.6s] following through and maintaining consistency. This is just you at the edge of a breakthrough.And where this happens most for my clients is when they’re at the edge of becoming someone totally different. It is the most […0.5s] important thing to pay attention to when it comes to any transformation with your health, with your body, with your identity.This is the moment when it’s like a champagne bottle. There’s so much pressure before the pop, but when it does happen, there’s this huge Celebration. That’s what this is.So how resistance shows up a lot of the time on the surface is self sabotage. It is one of the highest forms of self sabotage when you’ve already created success and what you’re doing is working and you’re getting there, and then you stop doing it and what will happen is you’ll do things that, keep you from furthering that goal.So maybe you fill up your calendar so much that you’re too busy to participate in your health or your growth. Maybe you avoid sleep or little things that allow you to show up even better.Maybe you perpetuate that confusion in your own mind, and you consume a lot more podcasts and growth materials and books because you’re really focused on figuring something out that you’re not confused about. Does that make sense?So really, you guys, I’ll keep repeating it. You are not lacking skill, you are not confused, you are resisting the person you’re becoming.And you’ll know if this is you, if this sounds a little fluffy or beyond where you’re at, just keep it in the back of your mind and again, get inside the membership so you can start with the skill building now, because this will make sense once you’ve gotten here.And what you will see is that resistance often looks like the opposite of actually where your work is.So for example, with my ladies who have resistance after they’ve made some progress, this is when their brains will tell them to go back to the drawing board and say, well, I must have a skill problem with the self coaching work, or I don’t know how to process my emotions.And as their coach, and also cause I’m a human and I get it. I know that they know the skills, and they don’t actually have a problem with the skills. They’re just not implementing what they do know.They’re indulging confusion, they’re not being firm with themselves that they know what to do, and this is simple. It’s self sabotage in the form of overthinking and that spiraling, right.And this is them resisting becoming someone who […0.4s] totally embodies these skills, and creating ultimate results and putting them into practice. And so what I want you guys to consider about success resistance, and how this shows up is it’s gonna feel uncomfortable to keep allowing your success.So for example, when I have women who lose […0.4s] majority of the weight maybe, and then there’s that last 10 pounds, or it’s the last phase or a phase of your health where you’ve never been there before.Maybe you’ve never been that pant size, or you’ve never been someone who doesn’t complain, or you’ve never been someone who creates space in your schedule.Whatever that is for you, there is gonna be a moment where it will feel wrong, uncomfortable and […0.5s] almost pointless to move to that next phase. And what happens is up to this point, you have created and then you feel compelled to turn it off.And so I like to look at this like a success faucet, almost where we wanna leave the faucet on.When you’ve created the skills and you’re moving forward and creating results, you have a success faucet that is on. And what happens when it starts to feel too wrong or uncomfortable is you turn it off because […0.4s] of that resistance, because of how uncomfortable it feels.All we need you to do, my love is to keep that faucet on so your results can keep happening, so you can keep losing the weight, so you can move forward.But what happens a lot of the time is it feels so uncomfortable, we turn it off and then come up with all of these excuses as to why we can’t have that faucet on right now, why we can’t have the results we want.And this is why a lot of you will be perfectly on track during the week, sabotage it on the weekend and then say, oh, it must be a skills problem, I must just not know what to do. No sabotage happened because we’re resisting our success because our brain wants to keep us where we are.What this will require of you is to narrate this properly, be aware of it, and then decide to take action on your goal.Leave the success faucet on despite this resistance and what your brain is telling you, that is why it is called a breakthrough. It is not easy, it is uncomfortable, but it is required to keep going.So growth really does require tolerating your success, tolerating reaching your weight loss goal, tolerating moving forward.And this might sound a little ridiculous if you’re just starting out again. It’s okay, but there will be a point when your success will massively trigger you, and this is supposed to happen, it is by design, and that is why I help women through this part, because it is one of the most difficult pieces of our long term progress.Now again, just really think about what your success faucet is, so to speak, and at what point do you turn it off? At what point do you sabotage even though you know what to do?This is something we want to consider, and here’s how you’re gonna move through the success resistance. So you stop self sabotaging.The very first thing you wanna make sure you do is you need to narrate this correctly, right? So you need to name the real problem that’s occurring.So what I’m saying is don’t indulge that you’re confused. Don’t indulge that you need a different or better strategy, right? Don’t indulge that you just need to push harder or you need more discipline.No, what you’re solving for is resistance to success. Name it. Do not overthink it. Don’t over analyze. You are having resistance to moving forward because it feels uncomfortable.If you know what to do and aren’t doing it and you have the skills to do it, you’ve already proven that, then the problem is not strategy, it’s emotional processing and it is that breakthrough.Next, make sure you correctly identify […0.4s] what you’re resisting when it comes to your success, right? Because growth always requires something uncomfortable to process.And so I want you to consider this next level you’re going to, maybe it’s that last 10 pounds, or maybe it’s setting more boundaries or whatever it is. What will that require of you that you’re not doing now and what will that require you to feel?So maybe in order to lose the next 10 pounds, you have to eat less, you have to stop overeating at a more defined capacity. Maybe that triggers the feeling of deprivation for you. That child feeling we have where I just need more food, I need it, and you don’t actually, right?I coach myself on this a lot too. Maybe it’s needing to say no to actually get some more time that you need to follow through on things, right? Maybe that will trigger guilt for you and you’ll have to process some guilt. So identify what it is you’re resisting emotionally. That is gonna give you awareness.The next thing I really want you to do is I really want you to see this as a decision.I am so serious because you may have heard this said in a cliche way, but it is true. Growth, like breakthrough, moving to the results you want, it’s not about feeling ready. You’re never gonna feel ready. What I’m teaching you here, this phase is so representative of that.Not only will you not feel ready, you’re gonna have a brain that is convincing you that you’ve already done enough, that you’re perfectly happy, and that there’s no reason to go for that bigger goal.What you will need to do is you’ll need to be able to call your brain out on its BS, and then make a firm decision that you are going to choose these results despite the resistance you feel.Look at that energy, right, that decisive energy that is so firm with this, with your brain. That is the decision you are going to have to make. Because breakthrough isn’t a feeling you’re gonna have when it feels like it makes sense for you, you feel confident, you feel like you can trust yourself.No, it’s a decision to break through and keep leaving the success faucet on even though your brain is telling you no.And then the last thing I want you guys to consider is actually prioritizing identity work. So again, if you’re just starting out, this might feel a little broad. But what I mean by this is it’s not about what you do or the actions you take to get a health result.It’s about changing how you think and who you are based on your thoughts. And so for example, maybe right now you’re having an identity where you’re always busy, there’s always too much to do, and you never have enough time, what can’t come with you when you break through to this.Next point is thinking as that person, right? You will have to become someone who […0.4s] has mature thoughts about time, who is never a victim of their schedule, who always acknowledges the time they do have.This is one example, but notice that maturity of mindset that creates this new persona and this new identity. So it’s not forcing behavior in order to move to the next phase of your growth and the next phase of success.It’s becoming the person who naturally chooses to do those things, and that comes from your thoughts. So I want you guys to start thinking about that again. We do teach the skills in the membership.Once you start that, you’re gonna be good and really creating results. And then as you may have seen my forever body mastermind, it’s the more advanced container. This is where we really diagnose and dissect the identity work so you can break through.So there’s a solution for all of this. You just have to be aware […0.5s] of what’s happening and what’s gonna need to happen to solve for it. Now […0.6s] I really wanna make sure we understand too, that willpower is never going to be the answer here.Because I want you to see that what willpower is. This is how we can loosely define it. There’s a lot of definitions for it, but for our purposes here, this is what willpower is. Willpower is bulldozing through your feelings in order to take action on a result.So a lot of you are seeing yourself sabotaging and not moving forward in success, even though you know what to do. And you’re thinking I just need to do it, I just need to push, I just need to stop […0.5s] making excuses and go.And here’s the thing you can do that technically, you’re in control, but the amount you will have to push through emotionally to do that […0.5s] is so much, and it’s gonna burn you out. What the strategy is to move forward?It’s not willpowers, kind of surface level and kind of a lazy way for us to go through it.Honestly, not that we’re lazy, but it’s just not very tactful. What you wanna do instead is actually sit with what you’re resisting, so you can acknowledge it and move through that as you take action forward.So what I mean by that is, let’s say you are resisting moving forward that one example I said because […0.5s] you feel deprivation by thinking I’m gonna have to eat less.So that feeling of deprivation, if you just say, I just need to eat less and just do it to move forward, you’re gonna burn out because you’re moving forward for reasons you don’t like and you’re not addressing the actual concerns you’re having, the feelings you’re having.What needs to happen is you really need to be able to process that emotional deprivation, that belief that is coming up in your brain, and you need to be able to coach yourself through it so you can move forward on your success in a consensual way.It’s really the equivalent of forcing a child to take action with you as the parent versus meeting the child at eye level and saying, how are we gonna do this together? That’s what emotional regulation is. And I think at the end of the day, how we can position success resistance is that it’s that difference between your brain lying to you and what the truth is. So for example, when my clients are in success resistance, they come to me with a lot of lies from their brain.It’s not them. It’s their brain offering all these compelling reasons why success just isn’t available to them. And resistance will give you a distorted view of what your success will require with weight loss, your ideal body, all of it.And so I’ll give an example from a client recently. And it’s just such a fantastic example.So here is the lie that her brain offered. Her brain really believed that in order to hit her weight loss goal and lose the last 10 pounds and hone that scale of not over eating, she won’t be able to eat the food she loves, right? She’s gonna have to cut out sugar and just be miserable and not actually, interact with those foods.Now if that was the truth, of course, she would choose to not lose the last 10 pounds because for her authentically, some of you might not feel this way, but for her, she doesn’t wanna cut out those foods for the rest of her life.That’s not worth it to her. And there is no moral superiority with this work. It doesn’t make us better people to eat less sugar and, eat clean, whatever our expectations are.But for her, […0.4s] she had this belief and this resistance that was the lie that she would have to stop eating those things to make this work, which wasn’t true. It was just her brain offering her a compelling reason to not like her reasons for change.And here’s actually the truth that sometimes you will be resistant to hearing is that in order to create the skull, she doesn’t need to stop eating these foods occasionally. She just needs to not over eat them.That’s it. That is the work. The work is so simple. It’s so clear. And this is actually where many of you are at. Your brain is telling you a lie that to lose […0.5s] the last pounds or to get to this next phase of growth wherever you’re at that you’re gonna have to do something that you do not want to do.That is very dramatic. That is very binary. You can’t have this and succeed, where you feel like something’s being taken from, the truth is a lot more boring.And it actually might feel very confronting to you, cause it will make you have to process that there is actually nothing holding you back from succeeding right now, except your own resistant brain.So for example, if your brain is telling you, I’m not gonna be able to eat the foods I love, I’m not gonna be able to whatever, no chances are you’re just eating too much of that food. And this is almost always true. What if it was that simple?Now the real work begins, and what I want you guys to know is this isn’t me just telling you, oh, just eat less. Get inside my process so you can regulate your emotions, bring your cravings down, work the skills to make this accessible to you.But I just want you to see how resistant brain offers the lie. And what we need to do is find the truth, so we see the truth behind what’s necessary to reach your next level. And that way you will be on board with that success.So I know this was a bit more of an advanced episode, broader episode. What I want you guys to always do in these podcast is to understand the concepts I’m teaching and the point behind them, regardless of where you’re at in your journey.So for example, if something I said today didn’t resonate with you, this is still so valuable for you to know. So you can expect this […0.5s] in your journey of losing weight, healthier eating, creating different results.Cause something that tends to happen is, will feel like something has gone massively wrong because of a phase of growth that we didn’t expect, right, and then will quit or will sabotage even further success. Resistance is something that almost none of the new clients I speak with expect.Right, luckily, I teach them, and I teach you guys this, but even if this isn’t where you’re at, find relief and peace […0.4s] that you know that this is gonna happen, and there is a way to solve for it.So like I mentioned, definitely get inside owner eating habits membership today to start the skills, begin creating results now, making all of this solvable. And then when you’re ready, and if it is your path, you will get inside the forever body mastermind, and have that growth experience. So you can get all the way to your end goal.Alright, I love you all so much. Thank you for being here with me today. And I will talk to you soon.