Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the podcast this week today. I just want to get right into it. I know today’s topic is going to be so helpful and eye opening for so many of you. And I’m going to give a little disclaimer, this one may sting a bit. It’s going to be a bit of tough love, but it’s always really important to me that you all know what to expect in your journey towards healthy eating.
So you have everything you need to be successful and something I see come up a lot with all of you and with my clients is the concept of entitlement. So specifically weight loss, entitlement. And I actually did an episode a while back that was about healthy eating entitlement, which so many of you found helpful. So I thought I would expand on that and discuss weight loss, entitlement.
So this is the next layer of it because it’s very similar, but the context is a bit different and it’s something I see come up often with so many of you. And of course I personally was not immune to this type of entitlement in my past when it came to weight loss. So I am right there with you. But today I want to talk about specifically what I mean by weight loss, entitlement.
I want to describe how this shows up for my clients and women. I’ve helped how it’s going to keep you stuck and what to do when it comes up for you. So weight loss entitlement is exactly as it sounds. It’s when you feel entitled to weight loss or entitled to any results with your body that you want, you believe that you are owed the results with your body.
You want, you believe your body owes you food, owes you, other people, oh, you maybe you think I, or health specialist, OSU, that something outside of you owes you the result of weight loss that you really really want.
And to be clear, the actual definition of entitlement is having an inherent right to something. And I see this come up with a lot of you and with many of my clients, I also understand this concept at an expert level because I have been through it personally, we really will believe in the beginning that we have an inherent right to weight loss in the body that we want.
And when we believe we have an inherent right to something, it also means that we believe we shouldn’t have to work for it, that we shouldn’t have to do things differently to have that result. We’re deep down believing that someone or something outside of us should provide that for us. Right? We’re believing that something should come and fix it. So I want you to picture the things in your life that you actually have an inherent right to.
So for instance, there are things as humans that I believe we all have an inherent right to. So there are many civil rights issues for instance, that I strongly believe in. And I firmly believe all humans have an inherent right to specific things. You likely have belief systems as well, where you believe humans have an inherent right to certain things, meaning they shouldn’t have to be a certain way as a human, to have an inherent right to those things automatically.
They just have a right to them because they are human. They shouldn’t have to do anything differently, or be someone different to have access to specific results. Weight loss is not one of those things. And it’s something that for many of us will bring up this very entitled energy because we’re having the false belief that we shouldn’t be having the result with weight or our body that we currently have.
Now we’re thinking that something has gone wrong or really that we have been wronged in some way because of the results we have. And I want you to take a moment and consider what this energy is like of entitlement. When you feel like you’re owed something. So for most of us, I think we can all relate to this. This feeling will feel very urgent.
It’s going to feel very heightened in your body. It will make you feel as if you’re in a rush, like something has gone wrong. So feelings like resentment, defensiveness, desperation, frustration, maybe even anger. So these are the types of emotions I most commonly see that can come from thoughts of entitlement.
Thoughts. Like it should be easier for me or this shouldn’t be happening to me, or things should be different. This energy is the absolute worst place to take action on healthy eating or weight loss from because the actions you take from these types of emotions are going to be reactive and impulsive.
It’s going to feel very heightened and survival-based in your body because in your mind, something has gone terribly wrong and you in your mind are not responsible for any of it because it’s going to feel like it’s happening to you. And there’s valid reasons why we have this sense of entitlement with our body and with weight loss. We’re not just these entitled humans who think we deserve everything on a silver platter.
There’s a reason we have this mindset in the beginning. This sense of entitlement comes from the possible resentment and frustration that we have when we’ve tried to solve for weight loss. And I failed so many times in the past. We feel entitled to getting the result of weight loss because in our minds we’ve been trying and failing for so long. In a very real sense will think that the world or that something outside of us owes us the result of weight loss that we’ve been working so hard for and failing for four years.
But this entitlement will hold us back from doing the work that’s necessary because you’ll believe deep down that you shouldn’t have to be doing that work, that someone or something outside of you should wave a magic wand and cause it to appear for you in its perfect form in the exact way you want it in the timeframe that you want it because in your mind you deserve that because you’ve already in the time and effort.
And listen, if I could wave a magic wand for you, I promise you I would, I would be giving all the magic ones to all of you, right? We all want that. That’s a valid, but it’s not going to happen, right? There is no magic wand. And so any sense of resentment or entitlement, we feel because of everything we’ve tried in the past will just keep us stuck.
It will not serve us. So really I want you to notice if this energy is present for you, we don’t need to demonize it or beat ourselves up for it, but really just notice how that energy causes you to feel and to what do you feel compelled to do from that energy? What most of us will feel compelled to do or really not do from an energy of entitlement is the work we will feel compelled to avoid the work that’s necessary to get the results with our bodies that we want, because we’re believing that it should have happened already, that we’ve already tried everything and that someone needs to come and fix it.
It’s all right. We’ve all been here. Now. This mindset will sometimes creep in for my clients. And this is the mindset that will sabotage you and bring you back to old methods that you’ve tried.
So the old methods you’ve tried were solving for the symptom of the way you were eating. So weight loss is a symptom of the way you’re eating or your eating habits. And in my practice, we solve for the cause, right? How you eat, determines weight loss. So that’s what you want to solve for. That’s where you want your focus to be. But the sense of entitlement does come up for my clients, occasionally, which by the way, it’s perfectly safe and normal.
If this happens, that’s why we get coached and we clean up our mindset. So these particular clients can do so and move forward without self-sabotaging. But I want all of you to really understand what to expect when this weight loss, entitlement comes up for you. So when clients come into my program, I make it clear that weight loss is valid and it’s safe to want weight loss, but in own your eating habits, the focus is not weight loss.
It’s to have complete control with food for life, right? The reason is because if weight loss is the goal, for many of you, you will be hyper-focused on that end result of weight loss. You’re going to have this desperate tunnel vision to that number on the scale that you want. There’s going to be an entitled energy. And this is just what you’ve been taught by the diet industry.
You’re going to feel compelled with this energy to cut corners and do it as quickly as possible. And all this does is make you susceptible to self-sabotage where you slow yourself down from the results you want. So you need to separate yourself from that urgency and entitlement with weight loss. And it’s interesting because some of you think that you wouldn’t do this.
Like, no, I’d be fine. If the focus was weight loss, I’m not super attached to it.
Even though I’ve spent almost my entire life trying to force it into place. Yeah. I thought that too. So do my clients. It’s fine. But right now it’s important to know if you don’t have the results you want with your body, and you’ve been trying and failing to get that result for years, you will have this entitled primitive mindset that is very desperate for it. And this is fine, but it’s the worst place to take action from with weight loss, urgent energy, such as this produces messy results.
So in my program, it’s all about cleaning it up. Clients focus on the root cause, which is slowing down, setting strong foundations and creating full control with food. So this is what they focus on. Now. Occasionally, what will happen is their brain will go back to focusing on the weight loss entitlement in a very sneaky way.
So there’ll be doing the work in the program, setting the foundations, and then that mindset of entitlement will start creeping back in if left unchecked. And this is what the process is all about. You want to be aware of the energy. You’re bringing to this work, to the actions you’re taking with food and body. So when the entitlement starts to creep in, and these clients are taking action and evaluating progress, what’s going to start happening is their brain will start telling them that it’s not working.
What they’re doing. Isn’t happening quick enough. And they’re never going to lose, right? And they’re making incredible progress. These clients are changing in a very real sense. So many things in their lives, not just with food, not just with body, but things that really matter to them. And when weight loss is not happening in the exact, super quick timeframe that they want, their brain starts yelling at them.
It starts having this entitled energy that nothing is working because the results aren’t happening in the exact timeframe that their brain perceives has working as good enough. And this mindset where your brain is in a rush to achieve quick, fix weight loss results. If we take action from that place, it will keep us stuck. We will self sabotage.
So what this looks like for my clients, if they have this come up, it’s perfectly safe. But what they have to do is experience the emotions of this without giving into the self sabotage. And they learn exactly how to do this. There is a process for this. So then when that brain has calmed down, they have released some of that attachment and entitlement with the quick weight loss, and they can go back and keep becoming someone different with food.
They can keep getting results and keep moving forward to become a naturally healthy eater.
And this is the difference between the results that my clients create. And other quick fix methods in my program, they learn how to be aware of the mindset that once the quick fix, and then they learn how to calm that part of their brain so they can take action on the longterm changes that they want. It’s so good. So I want you to know that it’s perfectly safe to one weight loss, and I think that’s important to acknowledge here.
Weight loss is great. Changing the results with your body can be in highest service of your health and wellbeing. But I say this with love. You have no business focusing on weight loss right now. If you believe that you are owed it, if you believe that someone should save you and do it for you, right? Because here’s the thing in own your eating habits.
The primary focus is not weight loss. Instead, we focus on the deeper cause of why you have the results you do with your body, which is because of the way you eat. We solve for that root cause. You will learn how to have lifelong control with food. So weight loss becomes something that is in evitable for you. You can maintain it for life and it doesn’t require a ton of effort.
So we take the focus off of weight loss. So you can take responsibility and have control over what causes the weight loss. When you’re hyper-focused on weight loss. In the beginning, you will spend a lot of your brain space focusing on how badly you want the weight loss and feeling entitled to that happening as quickly as possible, rather than focusing on how you’ll take responsibility for the cause, which is how you’re eating.
So to put it more simply, you’ll need to shift your focus from weight loss, entitlement, to responsibility for what actually creates long-term weight loss, which is how you’re eating. It’s who you are. As an eater. It’s creating control with food and long-term control with food is possible for you. Long-term weight loss is possible for you with the right steps that require the intention of making long-term changes.
You are not entitled to long-term weight loss without taking the long-term steps necessary to get there. This goes for all of us, right? You don’t achieve long-term weight loss with the quick fix mindset, how you get to weight loss, how you go about the journey is how you will end up. It shows up in the results you create. So many of you will want to rush towards weight loss and skip over deeper work necessary to create actual control with food.
You’re going to skip the part where you become someone different. As an eater, you’ll try to force weight loss with the eating habits and the brain you’ve always had. You don’t solve for the cause. And then you end up in the same place as when you started. Inevitably, if you’re attempting unsustainable methods, you will create unsustainable results with your body. If you don’t want to have strict rules with food for the rest of your life, with those restrictive methods, then I don’t recommend going towards weight loss in way.
I don’t recommend forcing those restrictive methods because we’re desperate for it to happen quicker. If you do, you’re going to have to maintain that approach for that weight loss to last. And we know that you don’t want to restrict or force methods of eating that feel bland and lifeless to you. Some people can just eliminate foods.
They really enjoy and love for the rest of their life and not have a problem with that. That’s fine for them, but that’s not fine for me. And I’m betting. That’s not fine for you. You probably want to learn how to do things differently in a way that allows you to enjoy foods. You love eat healthy in a way that feels natural to you and to lose weight. Long-term in a way that doesn’t totally suck in a way that doesn’t feel awful and lifeless to you.
How you get there is where you end up. If you want to end up in a place with food and body that feels enjoyable and sustainable and long lasting, that is the approach you must take. There are humans who can set a weight loss goal immediately set from restrictions with food, and then sustain that for the rest of their life.
I’ve met them. You probably have too, which is partly why you may still be convincing yourself that those approaches can work for you. But here, this it’s setting restrictions with food works for those people. It’s because they are perfectly fine having that type of food experience for the rest of their lives. It’s not a problem for them. If it will be a problem for you and you do want to enjoy foods at a broader level, and those approaches are not for you, you’re going to fight and punish yourself with those types of methods, because it was never meant to work for you into your preferences with food.
So I recommend going towards weight loss with a method of healthy eating that feels natural, easy, and sustainable to you. How do you do this? You become someone different with food. You become someone who is a naturally healthy eater.
If you focus on this weight, loss doesn’t even need to be a focus because it becomes an evitable for you. It becomes natural because you’re solving for the deeper root cause of your weight. You’re solving for your eating habits. The energy that will prevent you from doing this longer term approach is entitlement. You’ll think the results should be instant and without intention or effort to guarantee the result of a long-term approach, you will need to be willing to let that entitlement go because long-term weight loss is 100% available to you, but not without taking action on a long-term approach with food.
So that’s where the focus needs to be. It’s important that you know that you are worthy of the weight loss you want. You are worthy of the eating habits you want. That will lead you there. Your worth is inherent. That is not up for debate.
You are 100% worthy, no matter what you do, but you are not entitled to the weight loss results you want. You are not entitled to the eating habits you want. You don’t deserve it more than anyone else. None of us do. Society does not owe us the health and weight loss results that we want. Nothing outside of you owes you the weight loss you want. Your body does not owe you the weight loss you want without the steps necessary to give your body the space.
To give that to you, no matter how much we’ve tried and failed to make it work, we just aren’t entitled to it. And this is so important for us to see. We can have so much compassion for ourselves because past failures were really hard, but it doesn’t mean we’re automatically entitled to those results with our body that we want, because it’s up to us to do the long-term steps necessary to get the long-term results that we want.
Entitlement keeps us stuck, waiting for it to feel quicker and easier. And when we’re able to step outside of that entitlement and kind of parent ourselves a little bit, we can move forward with a permanent long-term approach without self-sabotaging. This is what makes all of the difference. All right, my friends, I appreciate you making it through this episode with me. I know this is a very real and pointed topic, but I know so many of you needed to hear this today.
I hope it was helpful to you. I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day and I’ll talk to you next week.